Reason First: Tekashi69 Catches Break Due to COVID-19

by SKYLERIZED 6 months ago in celebrities

The rapper will experience a bit more freedom in his role as a certified squealer.

Reason First: Tekashi69 Catches Break Due to COVID-19

Snitches get breaks, too. And not the bodily harm type. Tekashi69 will be moved to his private residence after serving for over a year behind the wall. Like a young wolf let go from a cage only to be confined to a household, Tekashi will fulfill the rest of his two-year sentence as a certified snitch. This brave young man who brought down his gang cronies in a court of law should be upheld as the teller excellence of his generation. Along with Italian mobster Sammy “The Bull” Gravano and 80’s Crack Era hustler “Alpo” Martinez, Tekashi takes his place among the hallowed hall of snitches.

He has found a way due to his asthma condition to convince a judge to permit him to get through these next few months without fear of retribution from his Nine Trey Gangsta Bloods. The way that 6ix9ine can be a proud rat is to take to the Internet and produce videos and songs. He could host a podcast called “Who Can Tell?” Tekashi ought to take full rein over this opportunity to show that snitching should be promoted over all nefarious activities. He saw things. He knew things. He saw his chance to break free from life behind the wall and took it.

For all of the times that Tekashi could not be granted release, this opportunity ought to serve as his redemption. He should write articles, books, screenplays, anything that he can to champion the art of the snitch. He should be celebrated as an exemplary stoolie who escaped potential disintegration of his mind and physical danger. He opened his mouth at just the right time months ago. While he may not have foreseen a global pandemic as the cause for his premature release, he ought to be glad that he will be at his home instead of locked away in a cell.

For the time being, he will be like millions of other Americans. He will be on lockdown in his own house, but he will subsist on the finest foods and entertainment, of course. His balanced diet and regimen that he experienced in prison should have taught him how to stay lean. He may want to keep his snitching ways to see if he can knock off even more time from his sentence.

As the star informer for this new millennium, Tekashi ought to pride himself for his ability to “chatterbox to the Matlock” as Jay-Z once said. His verbal ability to tattle on his associates should be venerated in the arena of hip hop and beyond. He sat there in court and changed a 47-year sentence into two years. Now, with his dismissal from “school,” Tekashi can focus on his rhyme skills and hone his craft all from the comforts of home.

With all of the luxuries that a young millionaire can be afforded, Tekashi should take advantage of most of them. Of course he can’t go joyriding, gripping wood grain wheels, but who is advised to do that now, anyway? His way of life will drastically improve from his drab surroundings and a modicum of creature comforts. By simply speaking out against his fellow gangsters, he ought to receive a laurel upon his head. He should be showered with gifts from his girlfriend, Jade, and be given as many conjugal visits as are permitted by the state. She certainly seems like a down young woman who will go to bat on behalf of Tekashi. He ought to thank himself for being rationally selfish and considering his own preservation. The thinking involved after all of the senseless violence ought to soothe Tekashi’s rage and quell the seething storm inside his mind. He did the right thing by telling.

Maybe the coronavirus is a get out of jail free card. Tekashi certainly played it well.

Read next: Chad Alan Lee

I am a forever young, ego-driven, radical hipster from Delaware. Investor. Objectivist for life. Instagram: @skylerized


See all posts by SKYLERIZED