My Nightmare

I come here every summer to put my feet in the sand. I love the smell of the ocean and picking up the seashells. Some days I just put my blanket on the sand and curl up with a good book. This is my favorite vacation spot. It's quiet and most of the people keep to themselves. Some days a glass of wine is all I need with the beautiful sunset. It allows me to clear my mind from everything that I have been through. I can't forget any of it. I have tried therapy and it only cracked the surface. I really couldn't handle it. In the back of my mind the nightmare is still there. I stay at the same condo every year. I don't really change my routine, I feel like I am living in a padded room. The fear is real. I survived a traumatic event. I was kidnapped and although I come here to the same place it happened I feel drawn to this same place every year. If I close my eyes I can see him. I can smell him. His hot breath on my neck. The way he whispered in my ear makes me shiver. His rough hands. The sweat that would drip down the side of his face due to the heat. I remember looking out of the window of the boat and seeing the coast guard through the window. Tears running down my face because I knew they couldn’t see or hear me. I couldn't yell because I was gagged. I could see the coast guard ship going further away from us. They had no idea they were so close to a monster. I thought everyone in this small town was so friendly. Most of them knew me because I had been coming here for years. I met Joseph when I arrived last year and he seemed like a great guy. He took me out to dinner and when he would bring me home just give me a peck on the cheek. He said he wanted to take it slow so we could get to know each other. I didn't get any weird feelings when I was around him. All these years of living in a big city I thought I was a good judge of character. Guess not. He had me on that ship for days. Doing horrible things to me. He thought that he had broken my spirit and decided to leave me on board after docking the boat to get more food and supplies. I was so scared he said he would make me pay if I made a sound. I knew this may be my only chance. I heard him leave and looking out the window he was walking away from the boat dock. When I couldn't see him any longer and I heard people walking by I kicked the small window with my foot. Although it hurt so bad from the gashes the glass left, I could hear people talking and saying something about the blood. So I tried to get my tied up hands out of the window, once they saw that a couple of people climbed on board and saved me. They were able to get me away from the boat before he returned. Someone called the police and he was arrested after trying to flee. They asked for my statement as I was recovering in the hospital. I told them everything. I broke down so many times, I didn’t think I would be able to get through it all. Now I live with a restless mind and a lonely soul. I don’t know what my future holds but I won’t let anyone stop me from coming to my favorite place. Although this is the nightmare I live with every day and every night. I will not let it continue to control me, I will find a way to get my light back.