Multinational Crisis Part 3: The Victims

Part 3: The Victims

“You’re so stupid!”

“ You’re an idiot to fall for that!”

“You are so naive!”

“ You should be ashamed!”

“How could you?”

“What on earth would make you do that?”

“You gave them what?”

“You deserve it for being dumb.”

“No one can know.”

“I gave them so much, what do I do now?”

Sound familiar? Harsh? Victims, both men and women, whom scammers deceived, share these thoughts. There is a heavy stigma attached to this kind of crime. Those who have never succumbed to a con artist’s enticements do not understand this pressure. And those who have fallen victim carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. This is especially true when finances are involved, and the impact is compounded if the crime depleted needed funds or eliminated all they have worked and saved for years. It’s peer pressure and bullying to the nth degree, only they do it to themselves. There is no one to blame. There are no fingers to point outward, just at yourself, as you rack your brain trying to figure out how to fix the mess you are in.

Silent suffering

Most victims say nothing to anyone. It’s kept hidden to preserve what little dignity they have left. Women, especially, feel tremendous guilt and shame, particularly if they have given away their life savings. The self-incrimination is overpowering, often more than they can or will articulate.

Over the course of the year I spent immersed in this journey, I came across so many women who had been lured and scammed. Getting them to open up about it was like pulling teeth from a gator with one hand while holding a dead chicken in the other. It was a no-go. Some, however, did give me details, and others gave different details. With these small morsels of their truths, I got the bigger picture. I saw what they had gone through with scammers, was privy to the tactics they used, and let me tell you, there is no level of empathy large enough for me to offer them. That being said, they are still not talking about it with anyone. There is a glossing-over effect at play. They admit being scammed and minimize the damage and pain they caused, so no one can see how devastated they are by their shame and naiveté.

Men, you are not immune to naivety and falling prey to these scams. I also came into contact with men who had been manipulated and were ashamed. Though their shame is not as deep as women’s, I still noted a level of fear when discussing details. Most, in fact, all the men I spoke to, shrugged it off, as if it were nothing. It is NOT nothing. Beautiful women’s pics are being used to create profiles. They engage you, men, get under your skin with the fantasy that you’ll one day get to see theirs, and then they will give you some drama and say they need your help. They might outright ask for money or gift cards. They will say they will meet you if you pay for the trip, the gas, whatever. And you will send it and never hear from them again. Worse still, they will make something up, you will believe it, and they will take you down another road for more money next time.

Men and women, the more infuriating part of the impersonations is that once they have what they want, they know how to reach you and get more. And they always want more and more. If you don’t get taken, or you get jumpy (wise) to them, they close out that account or profile and make up a new one. I had one scammer who chatted with me under several profiles on different sites. I also had one who even sent his brother, another sent his cousin, and another sent a friend. There is no end to the tactics and creativity they use. Imagine if they used those superpowers for good and not evil. I am seeing images of “we got taken to the cleaners” support groups in my head.

How it begins:

So let’s discuss how it happens. Men and women alike, when bored or lonely, troll the internet for amusement and distraction. They see a post or a reel and leave a comment. Innocent enough. All of a sudden, you have a very attractive person, or maybe a celebrity you secretly swoon over, pop up with a reply or message you to friend you. For women, it’s a hot man, and for men, it’s a woman they believe, more than likely, they would never have a chance with. These are all scammers. Yes, I say all.

This is the attitude one should have with anyone online. Keep that guard up and do not let it down. Advice number one.

I’ll tell you why. If a celebrity reaches out to you and says, “I saw your profile, and you look amazing,” and tells you how handsome or beautiful you look in your profile pic, and says your comment interested them in any way, then exit the chat and block them. NO, and I mean NO, is any celebrity online messaging you or anyone else. I am certain of this. Why? Because their management would be insanely angry. They will have been warned early in their careers that public engagement must remain public, not one-on-one or in a private chat. The reason for this is simple: legal liability.

Think about it: something is said privately, and one of the parties takes a screenshot of the words to splatter on social media about the celebrity. That’s enough reason for them not to do it. So, listen up, women and men! That celebrity or 12-out-of-10 hottie who somehow finds you more interesting than the thousands of hot men and women they come into contact with on a daily basis is a scammer. I can’t say this enough.

No limits

Now, if those were the only classifications of the identities con artists use, it would be easy, but it is just the tip of the iceberg. Out of the two hundred or more impostors that I chatted with, the majority were among them, but not limited to them. The scammer has wizened up and is one step ahead of you.

I had celebrity scammers like Michele Morrone; dozens still follow me, Keanu Reeves (after all, my name says it all, and I must be his girlfriend/wife), Ian Somerhalder, John Schneider (if you don’t know who he is, look him up), and even Elon Musk, to name a few. Morrone is the hot ticket now, so his persona has tremendous traction. I had military men with a plethora of ranks trying to woo me, bodybuilders, reality TV stars like Brad Thor, and a slew of other famous and not-so-famous men.

The identities used are not limited to people with public personalities. The savvy scammer has learned that using the famous does not work all the time, so they now present as the average, everyday Joe or Sue, someone who could be your neighbor. These conmen know you are more likely to talk to, identify with, and not question them. They will have normal jobs, do everyday things with friends and family, and leave you thinking, “Wow, what a nice person.” You will want to become friends with them or more.

I hope, my reader, you are getting the picture here. Do not assume you are chatting with a person merely because they claim to be that person. Leave that naiveté at the door.

So how do you know? What can you do? I am about to list the what’s and how’s.

Tips to follow:

I used to screenshot the conversations, the profile pic, and the names they used. Each profile has an address. I did it for the purpose of this article and to have it for any celebs or policing agencies that might need or want it, but that went nowhere. No one cares at this point, and if they do, there is no evidence to support that. So here it is. Copy it and paste it on your wall. Keep in mind, it is a small drop in the bucket, and every day there is more to watch for.

1. Assume everyone online contacting you is a fake

2. If it’s a celebrity, they will start with compliments that make you feel good, such as “ your profile is amazing. You are beautiful, hot, handsome, etc.

3. Celeb imposters will always ask you how long you have been their fan and what you like most about their work ( this is to see how much you know about the celeb)

4. All scammers will ask your age; if there is a huge gap between you, they will always say that age is just a number or that it is the person that matters.

5. They will ask you to send them a picture of you. This is always weird because they know what you look like; you are from your profile, but it is to keep track of which prey you are. Imagine file upon file of conversations, because you are not their one and only.

6. If you already have a connection with one, they will more than likely ask you if you have eaten almost every day.

7. It is their custom to wish everyone a happy new month at the beginning of every month. They do it without thinking, and this is not a common greeting in most of the world

8. Depending on where you are in the country or world, pay attention to when they are and the times they actively engage with you. There is a big time difference. For me in the Midwest, it is seven hours, making them active from 10–11 pm to 4–5 pm the next day. From 4 to 11, there is usually silence. This is not foolproof. Some will keep unusual hours even for them.

9. If you are engaged and in private chat, you should begin to notice that they pop in and out of the conversation. You notice online, and then not. On sites like Telegram, at the top under the profile name while in chat. Make sure those settings are on for you in all platforms, and if you still don’t see it, tell them to turn theirs on. If they refuse or give an excuse, block them then and there. Scammer. They don’t want you to see when they are on or have been. You are not their only love.

10. The popping in and out, long, unusual stretches they take before answering you, is to Google appropriate responses: questions about the celebrity you might ask that they didn’t know, or about things not common knowledge, such as favorite foods the celebrity might favor, what there is to do in the town they are from or grew up in, etc. Try to ask for detailed information on personal issues. They will have to check the oracle for any publicly available info, since you may already know the answer.

11. When you type out a long explanation for anything about yourself, a life situation, a story, or even about your day, if it is of any considerable length, the reply from the person will be like an essay, repeating everything you said in the order you said it. Why? Because that is how a bot replies. The text is copied and fed to the bot to get a good answer. Keep in mind that most of these conmen are adolescents with no life or worldly experience or knowledge. That is to your advantage.

12. Watch for the emojis. The bots use them in almost every response. In fact, the scammers use them all the time. Roses, hearts, and flowers in general.

13. Want to get nitty-gritty in a hurry? Start talking about sex. Most are intimacy-immature and won’t engage well. They are uncomfortable discussing it. Often, they will tell you they have to go and chat later.

14. For you grammar adepts, you will notice the use of contractions inappropriately and in the wrong places. For example, if you ask if they are working, they will answer, “I’m.” We know it means I am, and so do they, but we don’t use it that way. If you ask your celeb or hottie, “Will you be traveling?” they answer, “I’ll.” Even my writing app is flagging its incorrect placement in the sentence. You get the gist. Watch for it.

15. Driving will never be mentioned; most don’t know how to, or have cars.

16. When a non-celeb tells you about themselves, they have similar stories they give you. Here are some examples.

-They are a widow or widower (at any age).

-They live abroad, in the armed forces, stationed somewhat where, the time difference makes sense.

-They live out on a rig in the ocean.

-They have a child or children to garner sympathy and to make you want to help their little ones, in boarding school. Think about it a second. They afford boarding school, but will still need all of your money to help their traumatic situations

17. Whichever you deal with, they will fall in love with you within a couple of days. If they play the long game, it will take a week or two, but they usually don’t have the patience to work you for money.

18. Ask them to call or, better yet, tell them you want to call them. The fraud will give you every excuse they can come up with. I’m in a meeting, the kid is asleep, I’m not on my own phone, I’m using my manager’s business phone, I can’t because my management team won’t let me… and on and on. You will never be permitted to call them.

** Please note that since AI is up and running, they can use the bot relay tech to make calls, including video calls. It can alter anyone’s voice and face to match the person you think you are talking to.

19. If you get them to call and have them on the phone, or if they send you a voice recording, you will hear clicks before they speak and throughout the conversation. The recorded message will lack natural voice inflections and sound artificial. It is not subtle. That is the bot doing its thing. You know what to do then. Hang up. Report. Block.

20. With a video call or a video-recorded message, watch it several times. Watch the mouth as they speak, especially when they say your name repeatedly, which is not how we speak naturally. As in, “Hello Alexandra, how are you doing today, Alexandra? I can’t wait to get to know you, Alexandra. I’m glad you are my fan, Alexandra,” complete overuse of your name.

21. In the event that they give you a phone number to call. It will be a phone number that looks legitimate. Look up the state or country code. No celebrity has a number from Podunk, Oregon, Pennsylvania, or Arkansas, even if they have a U.S. number. I have seen England, California, Tennessee, Indiana-you: get the picture. Now, let me get into how to nip it in the bud before you disappoint yourself or waste any more of your time.

What to say and when:

What I will give you here is to be used before you type one single word, after they message you the first time. Use it if they comment on your comment and ask you to message them privately. Keep in mind that if any of the scammers are reading this, they will not fall for this, but try anyway. Most of them will not have the sites I write this series in, or follow me on any of them. When they do any of the above, the first thing you type is :

Afa bad guy, what’s the update

or

Dey na

****If they pretend not to understand you or know what you are saying, then reply:

Alaye

That should trigger the same kind of text as above, in their slang. Here are some other words to use and their meanings:

-Alaye: The most prominent code word, signaling “I’m a scammer, you’re a scammer, let’s get to the real targets”. 
 -Ogun dey kill you: used in anger when a scam fails.

-May Ogun (a Yoruba deity) kill you, used in anger when a scam fails.

-Yahoo boy/G-boy: Slang for online scammers.

Then do nothing. Say nothing, type nothing else. Wait for it. If there is no response from them, close the chat window and say nothing else. One of two things happens. They don’t respond at all, and if you go looking for the message feed, you’ll see account not found, deleted account, or they will answer with gibberish-like sentences you will not quite understand. It looks like English but doesn’t read like a sentence using your words.

In either case, report and block. Immediately, no matter how much hope you had. You just saved yourself hundreds of dollars, hours of your time, and your heart.

I cannot stress enough that no one should be trusted or taken at face value. As AI improves, so will its credibility with you. They may offer to call or video chat. It will not matter. They now have the capability to impersonate Jesus’ second coming. Do not allow them to victimize you.

Look, I know there is loneliness out there; I know many men and women are alone, bored, or something else that makes you want to believe. I wish I could believe too. I wish everyone were on the level and honest. But they are not. I am angry with you. I hurt with you and for you. This is why I am writing this series. It is by no means inclusive. They adapt and change their methods every day.

Be cautious and suspicious of everyone. If you believe them, scrutinize them even more. But in the end, they are all working the same con, and trust me, they are conning you.

Published on Medium, 2026