Mica Miller's Tragic Death

I first heard of Mica Miller on Tik Tok a few years back. An investigative journalist told the story of a young woman who was abused by her husband, and allegedly committed suicide. The case was strange, and intriguing. I followed it, but reports slowed down. When I saw that Netflix had made a documentary series about it, I made sure to watch it.

"Death of the Pastor's Wife" is currently the number one series on Netflix. In it, we learn more details about JP Miller, Mica's husband and abuser, who also happened to be the Pastor of a popular church. Many excerpts from JP's sermons featured him telling his congregation that wives need to satisfy their husbands sexually, so they don't need to look elsewhere. If you don't spend time in church, especially evangelical Christianity, this idea may seem sexist and manipulative. It is actually a tenet of the Church. And it is the reason women in the church have been abused for centuries.

In the 1990's, I considered myself a born again Christian. I remember listening to Focus on the Family on the radio. James Dobson reminded wives to make sure they looked fresh and alluring to their husbands when their spouse came home from work, or else. Men who were out working were going to be tempted by working women with their make up and fitted clothing. Therefore, to keep your husband from straying, don't look sloppy when he comes home.

Mica had the misfortune of attending JP Miller's church as a young girl. She was groomed, brought into his family as a babysitter, and eventually as an adult, made his mistress. She became his wife, and she was abused sexually, physically, financially and medically. He demanded sex four times a day. He injected her with testosterone to help her "keep up" with his sex drive. He took intimate pictures of her, then threatened to post them. At one point her posted a nude picture of her on Facebook. Clearly, he was a terrible person. But the church teaches that God hates divorce. Mica truly wanted to serve and please God, so she stayed.

I remember so well, the many teachings I heard as an evangelical Christian young woman, that spoke of the sanctity of marriage. I was in a troubled marriage myself at the time. No one spoke of divorce. Only separation with the goal to be reconciliation. Marriage was treated as something holy. Divorce was considered evil.

When Mica was cheated on by JP, she told him to stop. He would not stop having an affair with another woman in the church. Mica spoke out on Facebook, saying she felt God hated abuse as much as

he hated divorce. She moved out on her own, staying with a woman she trusted. JP began tracking her car, stalking her, and tormenting her with abusive texts. The police were aware of this but did nothing. Once when she tried to get away from him he told her he had a gun and demanded she come home. This was also reported to the police. Nothing was done.

The Netflix series shows JP Miller on the day after Mica supposedly shot herself, preaching and singing happily until the end of the service. He proceeded to tell his church members that his wife had died the day before. He was emotionless. The church gasped, but followed his instructions to leave quietly.

This poor woman, who only wanted to serve God and the church, was dead. The abuse she endured, in the name of submitting to her husband, was awful. Another teaching of the church comes from the bible, "Wives submit to your husbands as unto the Lord." Mica submitted until she couldn't stand it anymore.

The Christian church has long prospered and operated for the benefit of men. But Jesus admonished men to not lust over women. He did not blame women for a man having roving eyes. JP Miller acted as if his wife lived only to satisfy his perversion. Only a few members of the church tried to protect Mica. The warped teachings that are too common in churches today contributed to her death.