Meet Dave

Dave was used to this sort of customer- the blond, middle-aged unaccompanied mom type. He knew he could make a quick sale based on her flashy handbag and oversprayed, textured hair. He saw her eyeing the latest iPhone 13. She was fiddling with the camera settings and was admiring her cakey and clunky eyelashes. He figured he would let her linger a little longer before he would smoothly interject by explaining the Christmas discount and peppering in information about an affordable family plan. He knew she would brush him off, but he would lure her in by offering a free phone with the purchase of a new phone, exclusive to this month only. The pressure of a “good deal” always convinced customers to make a decision they weren’t ready for, and Dave used this to his advantage. There is a reason he maintained the position of top salesperson in his store.

Unlike his other coworkers, on the surface, Dave acts overly kind and eager. He made customers feel safe with his warm, toothy smile and hearty laugh. He kept a clean shave and wore wrinkled shirts to seem more approachable, and less perfect. His belt had a hard time confining his stomach and his sweat-stained armpits were a constant- no matter what the temperature was. For every holiday, Dave had a matching tie that coincided with his festive personality and was eager to celebrate with everyone. To the untrained eye, he seemed like a family man; someone who genuinely had everyone’s best interest at heart. People trusted Dave. He could convince anyone to buy anything.

At the end of a workday, Dave would retrieve the grey Saturn that he parked across the street. Before he could leave, he had to top-off his radiator with coolant to get home. He hated music and preferred to ride in silence while listening to his own thoughts. Nervously, he obsessively combed his dark hair to one side. His bad habit left only thin patches of hair that delicately protected his bald head. This fact didn’t stop Dave from combing what little hair he had left as he drove into the night.

Entering his one-bedroom apartment, Dave threw his keys haphazardly on the counter. His mind immediately turned to the fridge, and he rummaged through his various leftovers from an assortment of restaurants to reach for a beer. Dave popped the lid off the beer using his hand and the counter- leaving the cap to fly widely in the air. He stepped over the week’s worth of trash that decorated the floor and stumbled into the living room. Unable to support his waist any longer, Dave’s belt buckled and burst when he sprawled out on the couch. To numb his mind, Dave liked to watch true crime documentaries while eating whatever he could find around the apartment. Sometimes he would skip a meal and just drink beer because he was indecisive on what to eat.

He never felt satisfied with anything. Food, friends, girlfriends, cities, jobs- anything. Dave was in constant pursuit of something, but he didn’t know what that “something” was. Maybe he was looking for stability, a lover, someone who could understand him enough to tell him what he wanted. Or maybe he was denying himself what he truly wanted, but didn’t have the courage to do it yet.

Throughout Dave’s whole life, he was used to being underestimated. Growing up in a small town, Dave was never considered a particularly remarkable person by his peers. He obtained average grades, maintained a minimum wage job, and was uninterested in having meaningful relationships. Despite being considered unremarkable by his peers, Dave did have a knack for persuasion. He captivated people with his humor and made people feel comfortable by listening to them. He never really listened to people, he just echoed what they were saying so he could escape having to talk about himself. People never cared to ask about Dave, they just wanted to talk about themselves. This fact was fine to Dave- because it meant he could gain their trust. He would invite himself to people’s homes to “listen” to them, but in Dave’s mind, he was only interested in taking their stuff.

Initially, Dave would take small things: toothbrushes, a single sock, a fancy fork, an unwashed t-shirt. These small things didn’t mean anything to Dave, he was just taking these things to feel a level of satisfaction. He liked it when people would complain about losing things and couldn’t figure out where they went. It made him feel powerful. Dave gradually started to take more significant things: framed family pictures, diaries, birthday cards, VHS tapes, yearbooks. What Dave prized most were things with intense sentimental value. He liked how the people around him would react with intense sorrow and frustration, it was funny. If only they had asked Dave where these things were, he could have revealed it to them.

After a while, Dave grew bored with this kind of interaction. For him, it was too easy to convince people of his innocence because they trusted Dave so much. He grew impatient with trying to comfort people and wanted something more. His hunger to find satisfaction gnawed at him every day and convinced him he needed to move away from his small town. He set his mind on California, a big state with lots of room to meet people, and space to take things.

Dave set up an online dating profile to meet people. He figured he could connect with someone over the internet who would be willing to host him in California. After some time, Dave found a cute girl online who took an interest in him. He was able to charm her with his witty jokes and sweet compliments to gain her trust. She communicated to Dave that he seemed to just “get her,” and invited him to spend a weekend with her. She had an apartment right outside of Hollywood and wanted to show him around. Although they had only been talking for a month, she felt like she could trust Dave.

When his plane arrived a week later, she picked him up in her dusty Saturn, one that needed constant coolant to keep it running. She was excited to show Dave around for the weekend and had even planned to take him on a hike in Malibu. She insisted Dave stay with her in her one-bedroom apartment, to compensate for his flight expenses. Dave made her feel comfortable and really was respectful and kind. His laugh made her feel at ease.

Leaving the airport, Dave accompanied the girl to her car, taking in the scenery around him. Palm trees and blue skies were a foreign concept to him. The most he had traveled outside of his small town before this was to go on the occasional camping trip, with his “friends.” He never really cared to venture out on his own like this before, but this girl provided Dave with an opportunity- one he was still trying to work through. He figured he could take some of her things: hair combs, scrapbook pages, a faded picture from the past. He wanted to secure these things and leave, but there was something else drawing him to her- and he didn’t know why.

“How was your flight?” she chirped, as her big, energetic blue eyes reached for his gaze. Dave deepened his voice and cupped both his hands over his mouth.

“Yes, uhhh, this is your captain speaking, flight 2490 from Stillwater to LAX. All passengers are advised to enjoy the warm weather and beautiful people.” He smiled and returned her gaze. She looked at him and threw her head back, laughing at his pilot voice. Dave could hear the California sunshine soaked even in her laugh, something he couldn’t understand over the phone alone. Pangs of desire swelled up inside of Dave, a feeling he hadn’t yet experienced before. The feeling took on a sort of physical sensation, a loud, intense, crowded, swelling of the mind- a real deep desire. It was almost nauseating, Dave could feel the pressure at the back of his throat and in his stomach. The two of them approached her car and he opened the door for her.

“I have to top off my car with coolant before we can go,” she said shyly as if she was embarrassed to share this fact with Dave.

“Why don’t YOU cool off and let me do it for you?” he said, grinning at her and offering to take the bottle. She nodded and looked relieved. She sat on the curb and watched Dave as he opened the hood of her car.

“Are you hungry at all? I know this great spot on the way to my house if you want to check it out. They have some killer burritos and make a mean guacamole.”

“I’d love to, but I have a surprise for us in mind,” Dave said. “Plus I’d like to see your place and rest before we go out on an adventure. I’m not dressed for what I want to show you.”

“I thought I was supposed to be showing you around!” she said playfully, waving her arms around to exaggerate how she felt. “But since you are the guest of honor, I guess I’ll let you have your way.” She crossed her arms and pretended to pout, cocking her head and sticking her tongue out, away from Dave. Dave put down the bottle of coolant and kneeled next to the girl.

“Relax baby.” Dave took his hand and rested it on her shoulder. She looked back to face Dave. “We have all weekend to explore the city. Besides- don’t you trust me? I would never plan something like making out in a church parking lot while the police show up.”

She smirked, Dave made a reference to the time her ex-boyfriend said he would take her on a “romantic date” that ended in a parking lot. She was used to dating an endless string of guys who were only attached to her looks. She liked the attention but didn’t like their shallowness. She often tied her flowing blond hair in a bun to prevent her hair from trailing down her back. She had a thin athletic build, like she could kick your ass, but had a gentle round face, like a painting of a Renaissance angel. She was young and carefree. She liked to attach herself to experiences rather than people. She was drawn to Dave because he wanted to take her places and show her things, which wasn’t like her past boyfriends. Dave didn’t care about how she looked, he never asked to see pictures of her, and instead wanted to wait until they met. She didn’t care how Dave looked, honestly, and wasn’t attached to conventional ideas of “beauty.” She liked that Dave didn’t glorify her looks, instead, he entertained her with his jokes. She liked to laugh. She was convinced Dave was different. That’s why she let Dave stay with her. She was curious what he was planning though, so she went along.

“Fine!” she trilled, moving his hand off her shoulder. “Only if you promise me one thing,” she said coyly, tilting her head to the side. Dave admired her neck, the sun-absorbed skin was darkened by her endless hours outside. The pressure in his throat was building and he felt his mouth salivating. The urge to bite her neck suddenly swelled inside him.

“And what would that be?” Dave said, trying to match her challenging tone. He mirrored her body language, tilting his head to be playfully in-tune.

“Promise you won’t kill me,” she spoke innocently, straightening her posture to appear firm. On the surface, Dave looked cool and collected, almost unfazed by this remark. Inside, his thoughts were almost consuming. Noise wreaked havoc in his head, something he only experienced when he didn’t get what he wanted. But Dave always got what he wanted, somehow, in the end.

“I won’t kill you. But you might die of old age by the time we get this car running.” She appeared relieved and laughed, and took Dave’s hand to lift her off the curb. He opened the driver’s side door for her and she entered, feeling like a “lady” in his presence. Before sticking the key in the ignition, she plugged her phone into the AUX cord of her car and let her music shuffle. “All the Single Ladies” started to blast out of the small speakers in her Saturn, competing with all the incomprehensible sounds inside of Dave’s head. As he climbed into the car, Dave watched her pump her fists in the air and mouth the words to:

Now put your hands up!

Up in the club, we just broke up

I'm doing my own little thing…

As much as the music annoyed Dave, he figured he would play into the moment. He needed her to feel comfortable with him, and to not question him any further. He wanted to drink up her innocence and live in-between her happiness. He wanted her secret of what made her so carefree, so easy to be around. Dave wondered- Where did she get all that happiness? And was almost envious. He wanted her to share it with him. He wanted to take it from her and keep it all to himself.

He had to. He convinced himself he needed to. The sounds in his head reached a crescendo- echoing, screeching, ravaging his brain. He took a deep breath and smiled, filling his lungs up with air to loudly sing:

Here's a man that makes me then takes me

And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond

Pull me into your arms, say I'm the one you own

If you don't, you'll be alone

And like a ghost, I’ll be gone

******

“What do you mean you don’t want me to talk to my family anymore?” she cried and looked into Dave’s eyes. She tried searching deep into him, looking for any signs of a delayed joke or a cracked smile. But there was none. He was serious.

“If they knew where I wanted to take you, they would lose their mind. Besides- I thought you wanted to explore new things? Have some fun!” Dave laughed, trying to ease the tension.

“But they don’t even know about you! How could they be mad about where we would go?” She felt frustrated and looked down at her feet. Although she lived to rebel against what her family wanted of her, this was crossing some sort of line. It’s not like she hated her parents or anything, she just wanted to be herself. They never really cared about the good things she did, they just cared about what she wasn’t doing. She didn’t value the same things as them, believe in the same god as them, see the importance of school like them. She wanted to live her life- not be trapped by it. But to stop talking to them entirely... didn’t feel right to her.

“Baby, this will be the biggest ‘fuck you’ to them. When have they cared about what you’ve been doing in your life? Asked about the places you go? Why not let them live out their miserable lives and give yourself a chance to be free from them? Besides, there’s this girl who told me she knows a place that serves some killer burritos on the way.” He grinned, trying to look confident in what he was saying. However, inside, Dave’s head was pounding. Screeching sounds clattered his mind. He didn’t like her resistance, her attitude, the way her mind worked. He needed to work at controlling her, to satisfy himself.

Control. He needed to control himself right now. He always liked a challenge, a tough sale. She was a tough customer but he loved that about her, because Dave could eventually reveal himself to her. He could make the final pitch, the final sale.

She perked her head up. Maybe Dave had a point. Why should she care about what they think? Or what her friends think? Dave has been the only person in her life so far who wanted to do the things she wanted. Maybe Dave was trying to help her, truly. He said he wanted to see her happy, which is why he came here. Maybe this is how she could live out what she wanted. That’s what Dave was doing, living out his wants by staying with her.

Three weeks had already passed since their last trip when Dave took her to Las Vegas for the first time. She was scared at first, where he would take her, but she trusted Dave would show her a good time- and he did. Why would this trip be any different? Dave was a considerate person. He treated her kindly. He had even picked up a job in the past few weeks to cover some costs while staying with her. She liked his company, his guidance, his care. Although he had only been living with her for a month, she felt safe with him. He cared more than anyone else in her life at this point. If he wanted her to let go, it was probably for the best. “Okay,” she said, looking again into his face, the one she realized revealed nothing.

“Okay,” Dave chuckled, reaching for the hands that dangled at her side. “Now show me that big and beautiful sunshine smile. Hmm? That’s right... Now let’s get ready to go.” His mind dimmed to a hum, the noise subsiding. He felt powerful, in control. He was getting what he wanted, finally.

******

Dave looked in the corner and saw the girl there, whimpering. It had been a year since she had picked him up at the airport. Her still face glowed like a perfect porcelain doll, only now cracks started to line her beautiful face. She was his favorite toy, a security, like a plush stuffed bear that guards your bed. He liked seeing her squirm under the restraints he made for her.

Initially, Dave thought he would just come to California to take some of her personal belongings and move on, but that idea wasn’t satisfying enough for him. He learned that he liked to be in control- and the more he could control, the more powerful he felt. He liked that people trusted everything he would say. Every time he could convince people to do something, it felt rewarding. Almost satisfying.

Dave never intended to stay with the girl for this long, but she was so easy to control and so blind to his true intentions. He didn’t like her, but this girl had something Dave wanted. She was happy, seemingly satisfied. He wanted that- no, he needed that. He needed to understand how he could get that happiness for himself, without her interference.

On the last trip they took together, Dave told the girl he was going to take her to Spain. He instructed her to text her parents, “I don’t want to talk to you anymore, I’m moving to Spain,” as a way to get them off her back. She recently moved to LA from out of state, so she didn’t have many close friends who could check up on her. It was almost too easy to convince her into anything, as she was a “free spirit.” She was blinded by her excitement to visit another country and immediately called off her own work to go with Dave.

She trusted Dave, and he used that to his advantage. Right as they were about to leave her apartment, Dave tied her up. He knew it would be dangerous to let her ask him any more questions, or try to challenge his control- so he did what he knew best. He took that control away from her and kept her home. It was easiest this way. It would be too hard if she had free will or the ability to speak.

She resisted him at first, biting him when he would try to feed her, scratching at him when he would try to bathe her. Initially, this behavior from her would anger Dave- and cause his mind to burst with muted gibberish. These moments were unbearable to Dave, almost disabling, and he took that anger out by taking things away from her. Simple things really, like where she could sleep, what she could eat, when she could use the bathroom. He didn’t want to hurt her entirely, but she needed to understand that she couldn’t challenge his control.

Eventually, she learned to obey him. The noises in Dave’s head would subside with her silence, her obedience to him. He loved these moments between them, with her. He loved how he could control everything about her. If she said something Dave didn’t like, he could simply make her be quiet again, or take something else away from her, to re-establish her obedience to him. Sometimes they would have really great conversations, some days she wouldn’t say anything.

“When will you let me go?” she asked him one night, while Dave was applying lotion to her wrists that were red from her resistance. He kept her tied up in restraints most of the day, occasionally rewarding her compliance with conversation. He let her sit with him sometimes, tied up of course, so he could satisfy his curiosities.

“I need to understand where your happiness comes from,” he responded plainly, focusing on the task at hand.

“I’ll never tell you,” she spat back, trying to free her arms from him. She was determined to never give him what he wanted, truly. She felt like her resistance is what would keep him from killing her. As long as she had something he wanted, she had the advantage.

“Well, that’s no fun of you,” Dave said playfully, putting the home-made cloth restraint back into her mouth. Dave’s head was ringing again, threatening to come to a climax if Dave didn’t challenge her back. He figured he would leave her in the dark closet for a week- a simple punishment for insubordination. Maybe after then, she would want to talk to Dave.

Most of the time she didn’t pose a challenge to Dave. The benefit of keeping her alive meant he could use her resources for free, and he honestly enjoyed her company. He felt at peace when he saw the fear in her eyes and was comforted by her silence.

However, the need for satisfaction ate at him like a hunger that couldn’t be filled. He thought having this level of control would allow him to feel satisfied, but it was always temporary. He was getting exhausted from taking care of her and was sick of being here. He wondered if he would have the courage to do it tonight or if he should wait. He always talked himself out of it, reasoning with himself that he was waiting for something. But what was he waiting for? What did he want?

Dave turned off the TV and let his mind rest, sipping on his beer periodically. Looking at the girl, he caressed the knife lying next to him on the couch. He let himself become intoxicated by the silence he had created, lavishing in the emptiness of thought. Through his fabricated silence came clarity. Dave realized that if she wasn’t going to give him what he wanted, he was going to steal it for himself. He knew he was in control of this situation, and he could get what he needed. For once in his life, Dave knew what would make him satisfied.