Life of a G'

Maybe God forgot about or just passed right over me instead of sharing wisdom to help out on a life altering equation; since far back as I can remember anything good happening to me was nothing more than an abberation. 

Have no normal childhood memories of instant joyous thoughts I can recall to even tell you about; no trips to the beach or vacations to Disneyland as a Family like all the other kids that were around.

Mine consisted of dodging bullets while being shot at, stabbed or sliced, or jumped with a metal pipe to my dome on a dark back street; elessons from the school of hard knocks where must be hard for you to equate but my teacher was my choice of heat.

Most kids were overcome with worry over grades or running from, hiding, or lying to they Mom about how they live or how they really feel; My worries at age 12 start with will I kill or get killed today as well as evading pigs while getting bill money hustling crack and pills.

I have been at the park fully strapped up on a beautiful breezy night when the World seems perfect and nothing can bring you down; then orders get sent out and by time you leave the serenity of the playground 3 dead bodies chalked out on the ground.

While the cool kids was off studying for T-Cap tests or SAT with lucky ones even taking the college entrance exam; we passed our final by surviving the last year hustling surviveo and somehow remain free not locked up in the can.

For we as a collective had our own rules to live by and to hell with what standards ' society ' labels normal, sane, or deemed safe!!! It was our honor to die as a soldier for our beliefs and you best believe we take all our secrets to the grave.

Death before Dishonor is a creed rooted deep down to our core just like doing a bid (serving time) was your only course of action; do the crime you do your time with a smile on your face and never flap your lips or go to PC or ad segregation.

Simple equation is you snitch then you cease to exist and deserve a slow, deliberate, and painful death - coming to collect at your door; fingernails yanked off, all fingers broke, and cut across the throat with your tongue ( Columbian necktie ) pulled out to teach the block what happens if your a mouthy whore.

I come from that era where you had to know how to knuckle up easily all o throw down and be able to handle your own just to make it to your first period class; and a quick way to earn your stripes means all you have to do is to body a fool by making your cannon blast.

Personally I always had a little internal debate, am I a heartless monster blindly doing my Generals tasks? Or was I just too young, dumb, and too naive to even care enough to question orders or stop and ask.

Really I am made up from both sides of that coin with a mix of loyalty to the streets plus to all my Bloods; so if you make the mistake of tripping nothing would be able to stop the violence from hitting you with the gun fire like a flood.

I

always

I always heard that life is full of smiles, rainbows, fun, love, and that medicine called laughter; if that is true then I must not be deserving since mine is just sorrow, pain, hurt, and disaster.

There is no better feeling then being recognized by your crew for the dirt you do and how hard you ball; sSo I just want to know what is really on his mind and just how far I may possibly come through the fire to make his roll call.

Always continue to remain loyal and faithful to what ever you decide to do no matter how big or small; in doing so you can let go of all fears and allow the chips to fall where they fall. Yuppers