Lady M

(Read before Tina the Goat)

Riding on horseback for five hours makes for a sore bottom. The guide was unphased, "Not much further; we'll walk from here and tie the horses up to that tree line." He said, guiding the FBI agents and the horses in that direction. Agent Senex Freeman had a feeling "not much further" meant a lot farther than he wanted to walk with a sore tailbone, but there they were, on a mountain in Switzerland, and there was no turning back.

Agent Freeman's adrenalin was pumping. He could hear the "beep, beep, beep" from everyone's detectors ticking faster and louder which meant they were getting close. Then they saw it in front of them, a sprawling chateau complete with snowmobiles, a hot tub, and a pool. She may have disappeared for twenty years, but she indeed wasn't disconnected from her expectations. Agent Freeman stood at the side door and looked at the camera facing him, "Lady M, I'm agent Freeman with the FBI. Can we come in a have a chat?" They heard the lock on the door unlatch; they went in, down the hallway, through the expansive kitchen, into a living room with a gorgeous view.

There she was, sitting still as stone. Those sinister eyes were still the same with some added crows' feet and a heavier lid. She was much older than the last time anyone had seen her, yet still beautiful. "Agent Freeman," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. He replied, Yes, mam."

She started to rise from the sofa and said, "We don't use formal titles here. I'm not, mam."

He replied, "Please have a seat Lady M.," and she sat back down. His men came in closer, and he motioned for them to have a seat as well.

She asked, "You’re not here to take me back?”

He replied, “No, Lady M, your son is in danger.”

She threw her head back and laughed. “You expect me to believe anything you say to me? I’m not the fool you all thought I was. I would be a fool to hand over my son. I don’t trust any of you.”

Agent Freeman replied, “I know you don’t, but I’m authorized to tell you we intercepted a call between your stepsons Cire and Nod and your ex-husband where he instructed them to take out Norr.”

He informed her the tracker she and Norr removed from under their skin in 2025 left a detectable, permanent dye. On the intercepted call, Cire and Nod had informed her ex-husband they now had access to a device that could track the dye within three miles.

Lady M sat stoic, but you could see a hint of fear behind her eyes. “Then why don’t you find him that way? My husband in prison and his stupid sons have more power and resources than the FBI?” She asked.

Agent Freeman replied, “Yes, they do. Your husband has millions of followers, including some people inside the prison. We fear there are still followers of his inside the FBI.” He handed her a document, “Madam President authorized the director to send only us, and we didn’t know the details of this mission until right before we ventured up this mountain. We found you because we received an anonymous tip but now that we know where you are, you must know that they will find you and your son.

Lady M reviewed the official document signed by the president of the United States. She started to fume against her ex-husband, “God! That asshole! I will never be free of him! The golden noose is not gone from my neck!” she slung her arm wide, causing the couch pillow to go flying. “How long is that bastard going to live? Only the good die young, isn’t that what Billy Joel told us?” She looked out the window and drifted off in thought. They all waited and could see the wheels spinning in her mind. She was no fool.

“Come back tomorrow, and my son will be here,” Lady M finally said in a calm, matter-of-fact tone.

Agent Freeman rose from his seat, and the other agents followed, “See you tomorrow Lady M” he said, and then they left out the same way they had arrived.

Lady M had met her former husband through a mutual friend when she was modeling. In the beginning, he was charming and confident. His money and power were what she found most attractive. He showered her with gifts and convinced her he could give her the world. He’d been married twice before. He told Lady M that those marriages didn’t work because the women were in love with him and expected love in return. He needed someone loyal at all cost, arm candy to make him look good, who would support him without dispute, someone who understood their role. He showed her a contract. It outlined what was expected of her if they got married. She agreed to the terms on one condition that he gave her a child. He said, “OK.” She was happy, now that she was married to a wealthy man she could take care of her parents. But the dream turned into a nightmare. The lives of her parents were held over her head any time she displeased her husband. When Norr came along, he used their child to keep her in line. When her husband was indicted, she refused to testify out of fear for her parents and Norr's safety. Norr wasn’t worried. He turned over recordings of several incriminating discussions. “The Smoking Gun.” Then Lady M and Norr fled the country.

As soon as the agents left her property, Lady M changed into hiking clothes and grabbed her backpack that she always kept ready. She walked into the laundry room, pushed the wall beside the washing machine; it opened to a stairwell. She walked down the stairs into a tunnel that descended a mile through the mountain. It led to a natural cave complete with a stream that ran out and down the mountain's south side. She went to fill her water bottle at the creek and was surprised to see a small box wrapped in brown paper. She looked around suspiciously. “Had they found her cave?” She asked herself. She picked it up, and it felt empty. She held it to her ear and shook it, nothing. It looked like it had been there a long time. She opened it, and inside she saw words written on the bottom and two small pills taped beside the words, “If you’re reading this, we’re in trouble, so take these with you, just in case.” She put the pills in her pocket and refilled her water bottle. She exited the cave and surveyed the land suspiciously. “I hate hiking,” she said to herself. “I’m so sweaty. Look at my shirt. My whole life is you torturing me. I hate you!” Lady M continued talking to the sky. She slightly believed he was listening. She knew his evil personally. She’d never been free of the fear. The only good thing they’d produced was Norr.

After a mile or so more of walking, she came to a landing and there she found a metal box mounted on the backside of a tree. Inside the box was a walkie-talkie. “Chocolate Cake,” she said into the walkie, and she waited. Eventually, she heard a male voice say, “chocolate cake” in response. That was her cue to continue down the mountain. She complained to herself, “I’m too old for this. My knees hurt; I could die out here. He would love that.” She was seventy years old and in excellent shape. It wasn’t a challenging climb; many hikers had trekked more strenuous paths, and the weather was nice, but she liked to complain. Finally, she was at her destination over a mile from the landing.

“Hello, mother.” A voice said from behind her. She turned to see Norr, hardly recognizable with a full beard and long hair. He certainly didn’t look like the pampered millionaire’s son the world once knew.

“So, they found you?” Norr said and took a sip from the cantina he was holding. “You want some?” He motioned it toward her. She shook her head no and sat on a stump. She was starting to feel that hike, and now that she’d met up with Norr, her adrenaline was crashing. She replied, "I refilled mine in the cave, found your package, hopefully, we won’t need those pills. You weren’t followed, were you?”

Norr replied, “‘Quiet as a mouse,’ remember?” He said and half-smiled. Lady M didn’t smile. “Well, now see, that lesson was a valuable one, wasn’t it?”

Norr thought about growing up with his psychotic father. He rarely saw him and had no relationship with him at all but when he was a toddler and then as a young child and had to be in the same room with his father, Lady M would tell him, “Quiet as a mouse Norr, that’s how you must be.” If he acted otherwise, his father would demand the servants take Norr out of his sight. He learned how to be quiet as a mouse. When his stepsiblings were busy being famous, he stood stoic, calm, waiting, plotting, wanting to disappear. He hated the limelight. He knew one day he would break free.

Norr asked his mother, “So they found you, and now they’re looking for me?”

Lady M replied, “Yes, the FBI came to the house. The agent said they found me from an anonymous tip; probably one of the house staff figured out who I was. He said they also have a new device that picks up the residue left behind from the trackers that were under our skin. The device must be within a few miles, though, to pick it up. I don’t think they could track me when I was in the mountain tunnel coming here, but now that we’re in the open, we're at risk. Have you seen any planes or drones?”

“No. Why are they after me now?”

She told him that his father had instructed his half-brothers to kill him again.

“But the FBI wants to warn me rather than arrest Cire and Nod? Oh, that makes sense.” Norr said sarcastically. “I’m going to take care of this once and for all. Let’s go back to your place. I’ll meet with the FBI tomorrow.”

Lady M looked at him and asked, “Chocolate cake?”

Norr replied in the affirmative, “Chocolate cake.”

He helped her to her feet. They gathered their backpacks and headed back to her house. Lady M complained the entire way. She took a shower as soon as she got home and went to bed. She was exhausted.

Norr pulled a small flip phone from his pocket and dialed, when a man answered, Norr said, “Chocolate cake,” and hung up.

The next day came, and so did the FBI. Agent Freeman sat across from Norr and Lady M. “Your ex-husband is dead, Lady M. He choked on a piece of cake during dinner last night.”

Lady M looked at Norr, and it all came together. He’d told her several years back if they were found and death looked imminent, that she was to go to the place in the woods, use the walkie talkie and say the words “Chocolate cake,” and he would take care of the rest.

Norr smiled at his mother.

His father hated chocolate cake.

They both looked at agent Freeman and said, “finally.”