Gotcha (Pt. 2)

Chapter 3

I jumped as the screen door slammed shut. Apparently, I was so deep in thought I didn’t hear the door open. Hunter emerged onto the back stoop in his sock-clad feet, still in his pajamas with his head hosting the "straight out of bed" look. The boy had hair for days and when he refused to shower or comb it, it turned out to be more of a rat's nest than anything else. He had a cup of juice in his hand and was looking out past me into the yard. We were southern California kids which didn’t mean we ever saw snow, but it meant we enjoyed the beauty of it more than most.

“Hey dude, what’s going on?” I asked him. He just shrugged at me and sat down on the top step.

“Did you sleep last night,” I asked.

“No,” he replied. Made sense to me. I didn’t sleep a whole lot either.

“Mike and I played video games 'til about one or so and then I went to bed” he continued. The kid was just a little, scrawny 10-year-old. I thought it was sad that he had to put himself to bed, or better yet, that he was allowed to be up until one in the morning playing video games because the adults were too preoccupied with their own shit to get him on a schedule.

I sat down next to him on the step and we just looked over the backyard.

The snow glistened in the light and I nudged Hunter with my elbow, “pretty, huh?” I looked over at him and he looked defeated. The poor kid, I felt so bad for him. I was old enough to handle this, but he was not. Plus he was here visiting Luke way more than I was. I was not here enough to really have it injure me. He was finally starting to wake up a bit and he stood up beside me.

“I’m going to go get some food,” he says. He goes and pulls on the screen door just as Claire pushes through the door. She gives him a squeeze as he passes her walking into the house. She comes out into the backyard and sits down next to me on the step.

“How are you, sweetie,” she asks me.

“Fine.”

I don’t know whether to be upset with her or just move on like I usually do. There is something about this trip that is different. Everyone seems to be on edge and it’s not just me this time. Although, this is normal for me in this environment.

“Are you excited for skiing?” she continued. It felt like an apology to me, so I just gave in.

“Yea, I’m really excited to try my new skis,” I quietly replied. As much as I enjoyed Claire’s company, I just couldn’t do the "sweet pleasantries" when I was lacking this much sleep and in such a defeated mood.

“I’m going to go get ready and pack up the rest of my stuff from last night,” I told her as I got up and turned towards the door.

“Hey Lindsey, I’m sorry about last night. You have to understand, Luke is different when Hunter is around... when you are around.” She looked up at me with her eyes wide, the pale blue deeper and darker than normal.

She looked lost and unsure. Rejection for her was apparently something new. I had no idea what to say to her. I stood there for a moment, looking down on her, which should have made me feel more powerful, or given me the upper hand, but that was not the case here. Instead, I just felt sad. I felt bad for her and I felt bad for Hunter and myself. No one had a good outcome here. The fighting was not stopping, and us kids were just getting older, becoming more opinionated and cynical. The scenario here was not improving, and to me, it was just getting worse. I did the only thing I knew what to do; I accommodated her and her feelings of rejection.

“It’s okay Claire, it’s in the past.” I shrugged my shoulders and gave her a weak smile. She reached up, grabbed my hand, and gave it a squeeze. This was her way of acknowledging my response, I guess. Words were not her forte and I was not looking to sit and have a conversation about this. Finally free of her, I turned back into the house and pulled the screen door open and moved inside.

After packing up all the necessities for the ski trip, I cruised downstairs to find some company. As usual, the boys were consumed with video games, so they were out of the picture until the TV was turned off. I tried to find Blaire, which I eventually did, but she was on the computer in the little room tucked next to the office downstairs. She was occupied with AOL Chat, which means she wouldn’t want to have a single word with me, not to hurt me, just because she could not multi-task for her life. I finally found myself in the kitchen where I parked me and my bag at the kitchen table. Claire was busy packing food by the refrigerator.

“Can I help at all,” I asked her.

“No, sweetie, I’ve got it. Did you pack all of your stuff?”

“Yup, all packed. All the rest of the kids are on the computer or playing video games,” I told her.

She just laughed and nodded.

“Sounds normal to me. I’ll have to round them up when your dad gets back from the store. He still needs to pack up the car, so I think we will probably leave around two or so.”

I sat down at the table, obviously unsure as to what to do with myself and she looked at me with a strange look in her eyes.

“Do you want some juice or something, Linds?”

I glanced up at her and replied with a nod. She poured me a glass of juice and came to sit down at the table with me.

She had packed up all the food and I was trying to figure out where my Dad had wandered off to without me actually realizing he had left. I would have thought that he would have gone to the grocery store, but with all the food she had just packed up, I’m not sure how many more groceries we could need. Maybe he was getting ski gear.

I looked up at Claire and asked, “Where’s my dad?”

“He went to get some of our lift tickets. They have them on sale at the grocery store. He probably wandered off or got lost in the grocery store buying food we don’t need.” She smiled at me and I could tell she was trying to find something to talk about.

I figured now was better than never. “So what happened last night with you and my dad?” Her smile faded off her face and she looked sad.

“Honey, you need to understand that your dad wants to be the best dad he can be, but when he does this, he does it without any consideration to me, or anyone else. He wants to be some kind of Super Dad and he is not a nice guy when he does this.” I looked at her for a moment and tried to figure out how to proceed without offending her.

“Look Claire, I really like you and I enjoy our time here, but you guys need to figure it out. I mean I understand that Luke has the ability to be an asshole, I mean I’ve grown up with him, but the two of you together can get really out of control and it makes it really hard for us kids to be able to just go out our business when you guys are fighting.”

I looked down at my nails. The pink nail polish I had put on them a few days ago was chipped and I had bitten my nails down to the tip of my finger. Forget the manicure, my nails were trashed. When in stressful situations, my nails took the brunt and they were bitten so far down that my fingertips hurt. I finally looked up at her and her face was flushed. Her pale skin was pink up to the hairline of her professionally dyed blonde hair, which apparently had quite a bit of hairspray in it, because no matter how much she shook her head, her hair barely moved. She shook her head at me and I could tell she was trying to find some sort of suitable reply.

Just then, I was saved by the bell.

The door beeped and my dad walked in from the garage making a goofy sing song voice down the hallway, “Ohhhh honey, I’m homeeee!!!” She stood up abruptly and her face changed immediately.

“Hi, honey! Where did you wander off to??” She was relieved just as I was because I think that neither of us wanted to listen to her make up some excuse as to why she or my father could not be adults. I downed my juice and put the glass in the sink. It was time to get a move on.

Chapter 4

The ride to the ski cabin was uneventful. Blaire did some sort of strange dance moved to music my dad played off his iPod and Blaire and I attempted not to kill the boys while they were being annoying. Once up at the cabin, Luke was his happy, excitable self.

“Look! They have an ice skating rink! We are so going to do that when we get all the stuff unloaded," Luke announced to everyone as we carried things into the house.

The man had the ability to make the unexcitable look like a Christmas morning. We got all the luggage and groceries unpacked and got us into the cabin. The cabin was strange because it was built on a hill. We walked in the front door and straight into the kitchen and a sort of living space. The living space had a fold out sofa and a wood fireplace. It also had an old TV hidden away a large wooden chest. Because the boys were looking for their room, they headed straight for the stairs that were tucked away in the corner of the living room. We followed them down and came into the hallway where all the bedrooms were hidden away. The downstairs was dark, so we flipped on the light switch and the hallway was illuminated. The boys had already disappeared into a room at the end of the corridor. After following them down the hall, we walked into a room with wooden bunk beds, which is obviously made for little boys. The atmosphere was most certainly made for the mountains with the paintings on the walls of mountain flowers and snowy landscapes. I think maybe the medium was watercolor or something of the sort. We passed the master bedroom and it was obviously furnished in the 80s. Big king bed with a comforter that is that itchy material and may or may not have been washed with the last housecleaning. At the end of the hallway was the bathroom, definitely decorated last in the 80's with a big bathtub and a fluffy toilet seat cover.

Luke called from upstairs, “C’mon guys! Ice skating is calling! We can get it in before dinner is ready!” The boys flew out of their new room and up the stairs. I followed them up.

“Where are me and Blaire going to sleep?” I asked Claire and my dad as I came to the top of the stairs.

“Oh you guys can sleep up here on the fold out sofa,” Claire replied from the kitchen. She pulled out a pot and filled it with water. I think she was making spaghetti or some kind of pasta dish.

“Okay, that’s fine,” I replied.

Luke glanced at me, “Ice skating?? C’mon Lu, winter wonderland awaits!”

I smiled at him and grabbed my ski coat off the back of the chair. It was like a parade out of the front door and down to the rink. We all got sized for skates and hit the rink. Luke was laughing and having a great time skating circles around us and we were racing around the rink.

All of a sudden we heard Claire’s voice, “Dinner! Everyone into the house!” We lapped around the rink one more time and then went to unlace our skates on the side. After returning our skates, we trooped back up into the cabin.

Luke and Claire at dinner were a little bit odd. Luke was his normal joking self and Claire seemed irritated with him for some reason. I figured it had to do with the fact that we got to go ice skating while she was cooking dinner. I couldn’t figure out if she enjoyed the role of homemaker as much as she made it seem. She had made spaghetti with garlic bread and it was delicious. We housed down our food with big glasses of milk. Luke had opened a bottle of wine and was on his second glass. No surprise there, my dad drank plenty of wine, but when he was with Claire, he would do most of the drinking while she commented on his consumption. It was always so strange to watch them interact when alcohol was the topic of discussion. When he was with my mom, they would enjoy wine together. My favorite memory of the two of them was from when I was about four years old. I remember my mom sitting on the kitchen counter while my dad cooked in the kitchen. I don’t remember what he was making, but it smelled very pungent, and as I got older I think I realized it was Indian food, curry probably. He did this little dance across the kitchen, making my mom laugh, clinked his wine glass with my mom’s and they kissed. When you are little, memories like that are the best kind, because there is no fighting and the happiness that comes out of that memory wipes away any real sadness that gets in.

“Lindsey?” Apparently, Claire was talking to me, but I was lost in this old memory.

“Oh, what?” I replied.

“How was dinner for you? Do you want any more?” she asked me.

She slightly tilted her head at me, which reminded me of my dog when you talked to him.

I cracked a smile and said, “No, I’m fine. It was great, thanks.”

She smiled back at me thinking the smile was for her cooking and not the fact that she reminded me of a happy cocker spaniel. The humor I got out of this woman was amazing, she just had no idea I was laughing at her.

“Ohhh, my Lu Lu bell,” Luke sang out loud and everyone laughed.

He caught my eye and I just couldn’t help but love him at that very moment. Despite all the bologna that was going on and all the crap he dragged me into, your parents are your parents, even the ones that weren’t your biological parents. We wrapped up dinner and everyone crowded into the living room for a bit to watch some TV on the old big screen, but got bored easily and finally the adults took their leave.

The boys finally went down into their rooms after prodding from Luke for a proper bedtime, for once. Luke was a stickler on bedtime when it came to ski trips. He would pull us out of bed at the butt crack of dawn and make us troop out of the mountainside just as the ski lifts started moving.

With the boys tucked into their designated bunk beds, Blaire and I could finally get to bed in our makeshift room in the living room. We folded out the sofa bed and got it all set up with sheets and pillows. We took turns in the bathrooms carting our toothbrushes and other toiletry items and finally hit the hay. The sofa bed was so lumpy. I tossed and turn but just could not seem to settle down. I think it was the fear of strange places. When I was younger, I always had a fear of not being able to sleep, so I would wander the house and try sleeping in different places. I guess I was the modern day Goldie Locks. Eventually, I would doze off somewhere, usually my mom’s floor with a big blanket and a pillow. Tonight was just not looking like one of those evenings. I finally shut my eyes and imagined the ocean, the one place that kept me sane and provided the right kind of calm that brought on sleep.