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Good Conscience

Don't Drink ANYTHING and Drive.

By Anita AbdulPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Last December I was arrested for a DUI charge and spent the night in jail. In October of 2019 I plead guilty for “Wet Reckless” charges taking a deal from the district attorney. I'm on three years’ probation, I have to complete three months of DUI classes, another online class, and will end up paying over $7,000 in fines and fees. I lost my job three months after my arrest and background checks have haunted me since.

I had a 0.07 percent BAC which is below the legal limit of 0.08 percent.

I don’t consider myself an alcoholic but I would drink for fun on the weekends with friends. I had decided to really cut back on that a month before my arrest. I wanted to live a clearer, healthier life and really work on my mental health. I decided to take yoga more seriously and work on projects I’ve always dreamt of.

This experience felt like it snatched all of that. I wanted a resolution ASAP, for the next few months I felt like I couldn’t move forward with anything until this was resolved. I then realized this process was going to take time and that I needed to move on. I was becoming more defensive at work and looking back, I felt like I had a more reserved spirit. I started to view myself as a criminal sometimes which made it hard to trust myself with any decision. “It wasn’t even one of those nights” I repeatedly said. Because I truly felt like I was good to drive at the time and was certain nothing this dramatic would happen. Even when I saw the sirens behind me I thought “what’s the worst that can happen? Some sort of minor ticket.” Next thing I know, I’m being handcuffed.

I get to the station, get stripped of my shoes and belongings. I’m terrified to enter the cell, in which I tell the officer and she brushes it off and throw’s me in the cell. I sat down on the floor and my sprit surrendered. In that moment felt like that was where I needed to be. Throughout the night three other women joined me. One was coked out and unapologetically and confidently admitted to selling drugs. This other girl was a pastor’s kid that had just started dating this guy, she was sweet and funny. It was the PK’s first time ever getting pulled over. A little later this other girl came in all dolled up that was pulled over after she left YardHouse, she seemed to be caring a heavier spirit than the rest of us. She had a kid and her boyfriend was not supportive of anything she did and would constantly talk shit to her. Across the hall was a women in a cell screaming, banging and cussing at the cops throughout the night. We felt the hall shake every time. When it was my turn to be released I was moved to the cell she was in. She had been in jail for assault for one week and was being released. She greeted me with a friendly smile and we began to chatter and were later released together.

I coped by believing everything happens for a reason and I consider myself lucky although this shit was traumatizing. The next day I kept thinking about all kinds of things. How fucked up being in jail could be is one. Of course, I could have done things differently and lessons needed to be learned, but this shit is deeper. It cut a little deeper for me then just facing the repercussions.

For now, my message is to activity decide to lead from a good conscience.

I created this as reminder to not drink ANYTHING and drive, to keep a 100% GOOD and CONSCIENCE mind in all that you do.

I'd like to welcome you to the unpacking of this reality with me.

guilty
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