For Better or Worse

I watched the second hand of the clock tick down the last five seconds to the twelve. For a brief moment, all three hands were in the same position, until the skinny hand ticked past. He was an hour late.

The red vinyl of the booth was sticking to the backs of my legs, even though I’d been careful to make sure my skirt was underneath me when I slid into the seat.

My periphery was filled with the red glow of the open sign. This little twenty-four hour diner was the only thing in this town open past eight o’clock on weeknights, and past ten on weekends.

I took another sip of my coffee from the plain cream colored mug, enjoying the weight of it in my hand. I liked the coffee here, so I was drinking it black. This was my second cup so far. I’d drink as many cups as I needed until he arrived.

Two men in dirty blue jeans and trucker hats were sitting at the bar swapping road stories. Normally, I liked to eavesdrop, but tonight I couldn’t focus on what they were saying.

I looked at the clock again and then out the window.

The parking lot was lit with two dim streetlamps. The two semis were parked to the side where I could only make out their shadows. My car was right outside the window where I was sitting and that was all. I knew the employees parked around back, so anyone who pulled into the front would be a customer. I hoped it was him.

A tap on my shoulder and someone saying, “Mae!” caught my attention.

I blinked myself out of the daze I was in and looked at the waitress, Annie.

“Oh, sorry,” I said.

She smiled at me with bright pink lips. Her white blonde hair was up in a ponytail and her blue eyes were kind.

Annie worked the graveyard shift nearly every night for as long as I’d been coming here and was one of the few people who knew my secrets. Sometimes when the place was empty, we would sit and talk about life and other things. I’d come to think of her as a non-judgemental mother figure. She was in her mid fifties with the energy of a kid, which was impressive since she ran on a steady diet of Diet Pepsi and cigarettes.

“You want more coffee while you wait?” she asked.

I glanced down into my cup and saw only a few remaining droplets.

“Yes, please.”

She poured the coffee into my cup. “He’s running behind tonight, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said, biting my lower lip nervously.

I wrapped my hands around the hot mug, enjoying the warmth even though it was too hot to leave them there for long.

Annie patted my hand, “He always shows up.”

I nodded and went back to staring out the window.

It wasn’t unusual for him to be running late, things happened with the job, and I understood that. However, it didn’t keep me from worrying and thinking about all of the things that could have gone wrong.

We had a plan in place in case things did go badly, if he ever didn’t get to walk through that door. I just didn’t want to put that plan into motion.

He’s only an hour and half late. I reassured myself. We still had plenty of time.

Headlights broke through the darkness and fog that had settled on the road. The car turned into the parking lot and pulled in next to mine.

Relief washed over me as I watched him get out of the car, and let out the breath I had been holding.

I watched through the windows as he walked to the front and held open the door for the truckers as they left and went back to their rigs.

Every time I saw him, I felt the butterflies that I’d felt the first time I’d met him. He was so tall and handsome.

He saw me at my usual booth and smiled that perfect smile of his.

I got up from the table and greeted him with a kiss, and stared into his golden brown eyes and while I ran my fingers through his short black hair.

He slid the small cooler into the booth beside him. “Sorry I’m late. I hate worrying you. Especially since we can’t risk calls or texts.”

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re here,” I said, grinning at him.

He gave me a half-hearted smile and I could tell it had been a long night for him.

“How did everything go?” I asked.

“My assistant didn’t show, and I was left doing pretty much everything myself. It took awhile but went well.”

Annie walked over and handed him a cup of coffee. “See, I told her you’d be here.”

“Hey, Annie, how are you tonight?” he asked.

“Same old shit,” she said with a chuckle.

“Don’t we know it,” he laughed.

Annie went back behind the counter and started making another pot of coffee.

“How many more do we have lined up?” I asked.

“Three,” he answered, he put his head down and rubbed his eyes.

I reached across the table and took his hand. “That should give us enough.”

He nodded, “As long as this round of treatments work, it should be.”

We both glanced at the baby sleeping peacefully beside me in his car seat. The skin around his eyes was dark and his head was shiny and bald instead of the thick dark hair he had been born with.

“Guess you had better get on the road,” he said.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

We left money on the table with a large tip for Annie, waved bye, and went outside.

I kissed my baby on the head, careful not to wake him up and handed the car seat to my husband.

He passed me the small cooler and I placed it in the passenger seat of my car.

I kissed him goodbye and reminded him there was leftover roast in the fridge for when he got home.

“See you when you get there,” he said, with the same sad look in his eyes that I had every time he left to do his part of this job.

“And if not, you know what to do,” I said.

He nodded, and kissed me on the forehead before saying, “Take the money, get the passports.”

I watched him pull out of the parking lot and then opened the cooler lid. I could never resist looking.

There, on top of the pink tinted ice, was a shiny, dark red kidney.

Desperate people sold their organs, and desperate people bought them.

Kidneys are easy to come by, but cancer medications still in their early trials are harder to get, and they don’t come cheap. The only reason we even knew about the drugs was because of my husband’s job at the hospital.

I started the car and headed towards the delivery point. I prayed that this trip would go as smoothly as all the others had.