Cell Block

You can often see the little treasured Moleskins or “little black book" carried carefully on the inmates person in prison. Risky to leave it behind in the cell for others eyes to find. There are limited places the perfectly sized book can be hidden inside a 4 X 8 cell, non of which offer the protection the contents deserve. Words have worth, they can also cost someone dearly if they're careless with the handling of them.

The little black book in prison can be a risky indulgence, a convenient therapist, a holder of thoughts and dreams. Always at the ready to accept all the person has to put into it. How one "feels" inside the walls usually needs to be kept pretty tight to the vest, it actually becomes a vest. One of self protective armor fortified by years of stories lived and imagined. The little black book keeps the prison stories straight, offer escapism from the thoughts in ones head from becoming as confining as the heavy doors slam shut.

Prison has its own set of rules on setting value to things. The Moleskins are a treasured personal item inside the walls. An investment item on the canteen list that someone would need to really want in order to justify the nearly 2 weeks prison pay to purchase. It's value proven to me when a bundle of Moleskins gained access into the prison by way of an illegal drop on one occasion. More carefully wrapped and protected than any of the other contraband items also in the parcel. I remember flipping thru all the blank pages confused by the risk and care someone took to get these blank little black books inside.

With time, I started to see the pattern of the Moleskin, their role, their value. Each having their own worth to various others also sharing space behind the heavy doors that only swing open for some. The elastic perfectly hold the covers closed to offer protection to what's inside. Thoughts, plans, wishes, dreams both lost and hoped, finely illustrated doodles that have unimaginable details drawn to escape those of the current viewpoint of cell blocks and bars. Sometimes they neatly hold accountings of various prison debts, bets and payment dues. Each little black book holds treasure in varying degrees of value depending whos eyes falls upon whatever’s inside. The cost of losing such a piece is nearly equal to the benefit of having one at all to pour a bit of themselves into.

In all the years working inside various prison walls, behind the gates, steel doors, security posts, ranges and cells, I’ve noticed just how common it is to see those living inside the walls with the little black book guarded more securely than the inmates themselves. The perfect string wraps around the treasure just securely enough to hold in the added thickness that comes from filling the pages with self.

It’s what all came to mind years later when I was helping my friend sift thru his Dad’s books to determine if any of the collection would help cover funeral costs and last expenses. He didn’t really get to know his Dad in life and this was a fairly surreal way of having a glimpse of who he was. His Dad didn’t have much but what he did have was treated well and all kept fairly neat in an order that meant something to him. In behind a row of books, a few first editions of the great reads aligned, was the tell tale feel of a moleskin book. Well used, adorned with a coffee ring and fat with notes that came out of the mind of this well read man. I instantly flashed to the many other times I’ve seen these little black books held tight to a mans chest and instantly felt its value. I brought it unopened to my friend who looked sadly at the books he would need to sell to help cover expenses. As I handed the Moleskin to him, the story he was telling himself in his mind changed immediately. He thumbed the pages landing on the accordion holder at the back of the little black book. Tucked in the fold was a bank draft for $20,000 and a short note that said he didn’t want to be a burden.

There were many important things in that Moleskin that held value and my friend went over every well filled page with gratitude and awe at the thoughts his father had taken the time to jot down within its pages. The $20,000. helped with expenses and paid for a celebration of life. It was also when his Dad’s scribbled poems inside the Moleskin were given a voice from the pages for the very first time. The little black book gave one last gift in its existence. A valuable thing indeed.