As I stand here in this dirty room with a gun in my right hand and the man I killed laying on the ground with blood all over him and some of his dirty blood on me, I think back to what I just did, what I have done and what I have become. To be very honest, in my eyes this man deserved to die. He’s a dirty thief, a low life, a mere salesman, who does he think he is with his charming way of talking. He is lower than me. I am better than him in every way. I guess you could say I have a god complex. It’s one of the many things I talk to my psychiatrist about. Oh is she going to be mad when she finds out her predictions were right. She knew all along I was a danger to her and that I might kill someday (not the psychiatrist) but little did she know I would kill for her. Who, you might ask is this woman I might kill for is… not my psychiatrist… the woman I love.
See this whole thing started over 6 months ago when I moved into this beautiful town. I was new and I knew only one person, my old roommate from college so like I always do with people I went to follow him around. I bothered him at his work because I still had a couple more days before I started my new job at an aspiring architecture firm named Dwayne and Johnson’s. See my roommate wasn’t the brightest so he had to survive off a part time job as cashier at a beauty product store. I didn’t care for how busy he was because come on it’s me; my existence has to be known. I bugged him with one particular topic the most; “find me a fling around here… come on come on.” He replied: “okay the next girl to enter through the doors of this shop is your soulmate okay? Now leave me alone.” He was right. Lucy walked through that door and into my life. She is the only human being I believe that is superior to me. She is my love, my God. She was nothing less than perfect. Absolutely beautiful, mind blowingly smart. She changed my life. It took me exactly three seconds to fall in love and know right away that she was made for me. 1. “wow she’s gorgeous.” 2. “I want her to be mine.” 3. “I need to have her. She is made for me, and me alone.” This was it. I looked at her from behind the counter. She looked at every beauty product with thrill. She loved this stuff. She grabbed a Aloe Vera face mask, she didn’t need it. Her face was icon of beauty. She was beyond all the praise in the world. She came towards the counter and my heart started beating in a way it has never before. “I should say something,” I thought to myself, “anything… just speak.” “ I would like to purchase this… what does my total come to?” My roommate will ruin this for me if I don’t say a word. His stupidity will drive my one true love. “It’s free. Take it.” I was not in the position to say that but my precious deserved it.
“Dude, that’s so out of line!”
“I’ll pay for it! Don’t worry!... Who is she?”
“A regular. Her name’s Lucy. Why?”
“Tell me more about her”
“Because I said so..” I tried to be as intimidating as possible to get all my information on her.
“Well if you’re interested then you’ll be happy to know that she recently dumped her ex. One of the girls who works here knows her well and whenever Lucy comes here they talk about their girly drama. I really don’t get it. Anyways, I don’t think she’s looking for something serious at the moment so go for it! Next time when she comes over to our shop I’ll just text you. Try to be smooth okay? You were never the ladies’ man back in college.”
This fool obviously still did not understand me. I love studying. I love to study any opportunity that lies before me before I indulge in it and usually that serves best for me since I got out of dating the dumbest broads out there. Yes, it’s true I had already fallen in love with someone I didn’t exactly know but this was meant to be. I knew it. All the studying I could do now was on her so when I did make my move I would not mess up our first encounter.
For the next 2 weeks, I did not hear from my ex-roommate. I was growing impatient but my work kept me busy enough, then one day out of the blue I got a call from him; she was there right now. I rushed to the store and was over-joyed when I saw her through the window. I would have gone in if only I wasn’t so mesmerised by the very sight of her smile while she talked to the female employee my ex-roommate was telling my about. Something good must have happened. I wonder what; a promotion, perhaps a new exciting job, something good in the family. I needed to know, I wanted to know so bad. In all the thinking and staring I didn’t realise that Lucy had already bought a product and was about to walk out. So that’s the perfume she wears. I should get one. It’s heavenly. She walks out and I am in awe. She walks by me and I can’t help but follow her scent. Gosh she is perfect. I wish I could have her all to me. Without even realising, I follow her all the way to her house. It’s a small place. It looks like she lives alone. I can’t follow her in so I stand there across the road staring at her house. I hear a dog bark. That’s interesting, she owns a dog. I wonder what she named it. I leave but not before taking a picture of her house. I want to take it with me.
The next morning I wake up to the thought of her, 20 minutes before my alarm usually goes off. It’s a Saturday so I should pay her a visit. I end up at her door with a dozen roses, obviously I can’t give the, to her right now but I could leave them at her door. I ring the bell, leave the roses on her door mat and walk away. I walk to the other side of the street, believing she can’t see me. She opens the door and is surprised to find the roses. She must not like roses because she frown and goes toward her trash cans in front of her driveway to through them away. Oh, her garbage day is on Saturday.
“Fool, idiot, dumbass. You screwed it up. How could you get her flowers she doesn’t like? Stupid, stupid, stu….” As I stop my train of thought I notice she’s looking at me staring at her. She must be falling in love with me too since she won’t look away. Wait, she’s giving me the middle finger. Why? Is she playing hard to get? Does she know the flowers are from me? She’s walking towards me… What do I do? I panic and start to walk away as she calls out to me, “stop, you pervert! I know you followed me home last night. I swear to god if I see you close to me again, I’m calling the cops.”
She doesn’t love me.
I gave my all to her and yet she doesn’t love me. All I have wanted ever since I saw her was her. This is unfair. I must make her love me. We belong together.
I get home and punch the wall several times. I am so outraged. UNFAIR. UNFAIR.
I don’t realize it but I pass out. I am woken up by 2 nurses asking me if I’m okay. Are they dumb? Of course I’m not okay. If I was okay, why would I be in this hell hole?
“I’m fine. Don’t touch me.”
A doctor walks in, takes a look at me and refers me to another doctor. The nurses nod their heads and transfer me to a different wing of the hospital. As I wait for my new doctor I think about how sad my love must be. She needs me. I made her mad. I need to apologize. A female doctor walks in. Hm, she has a nice back, it’s like Lucy’s.
“You…. How did you find me at my work? You creep! … Nurses! Get him out of here. This stalker has been following me since last night. Ugh!”
It’s Lucy and she’s mad. What should I do to make her feel better? I need to hug her, kiss her. Yes, then she’ll feel much better.
I walk towards her while she takes steps away from me. The nurses come in but before they can get a hold of me I kiss her. I have never felt this way before. I love her so much. She pushes me off and starts crying. Are these tears of happiness? I don’t understand, she looks sad even though we just had our first kiss. The nurses get a hold of me and they take me out.
A couple days later I find myself in a court with a Judge telling me that I have to stay 100 meters away from Lucy at all times and I need to see a psychiatrist. This is unfair. How can I live without her in my arms? I need Lucy in my life. I don’t argue because it’s beneath me to talk to such low lives but what should I do now? On my way back home from the court, I buy myself a nice new HD camera. I need a camera now more than ever. As soon as I get home, I start making a love video for Lucy.
“Dear Lucy, I love you. You mean the world to me. I have never wanted anyone as badly as I want you. Please come back to me. I know you love me too! Please come back to me. I am willing to do anything for you.”
I press save and I download the video into a flash drive. I make my way to Lucy’s house and leave the flash drive in her mail box. I wait once again on the other side of the side walk. I wait for 3 whole hours and Lucy finally gets home. She sees me and I yell, “There is something for you in the mailbox, my love.” That is the first time I have spoken to her. Oh my gosh, I hope she felt my sincerity. She stomps to the mailbox takes out the flash drive and stomps inti her house. I feel as if I have done my part for today.
The days following that day, I wait for her everywhere she went. I just waited for her to confess her feelings I am certain she is hiding. She will come and talk to me. I know it. Although she does look stressed out these days. I wonder what’s wrong.
On one cold summer morning, as I wait for her in front of her house, I notice my angel walking towards me with some sort of hot beverage with an angelic smile.
“You said you would do anything for me. Is that true?”
“Y-Y-Y-es … anything. I would even kill myself.”
“ Well then, I need you to do something special for me. Can you please do it?”
“Anything, my love, absolutely anything.”
“I need you to go kill my ex-girlfriend’s current boyfriend for me. I love her so much and I can’t believe she left me for a man! I need this! I’m gonna kill myself if I have to see her with that awful beast for one more day”
I don’t understand this situation.
“Pretty please. I would love you forever if you just killed him and took the blame for it. It’s a sacrifice you have to make to be loved by me.”
“I love you but-..” She looks disappointed. I can’t see her like this. She said she would love me. I need this. “Anything for you…I love you.”
She smiled at me and blew me a kiss and then invited me into her house. She told me everything I needed to do to carry out the plan perfectly. She is in fact a genius since she came up with a plan like this.
The following Wednesday, I put my love’s action into place. I kidnap the man who stole my love’s happiness and take him to a dirty old house and place him right in the middle of the living room. He is gagged and tied up with ropes. He is allowed to see so he can see his death. He is awful. He deserves to die.
I shoot him right through the heart and now I’m here thinking of what I just did, what I have done and what I have become. I shot the man who hurt the person I loved, I did it to please my love and I have finally become the man she loves. This is all I have ever wanted. This is my end.