A mother’s getaway

I wish it didn’t have to start like this, I really do wish.

Where do I begin? I wonder how you will all quite judge me, although I do suppose that is your role here. I told myself I couldn’t do it, I wouldn’t be able to and everyone else was none the wiser.

But I did it. It was a cold Wednesday, stuck in a pandemic and becoming redundant was not part of my plans. Rather I thought I would be at my fancy job getting ready to go on maternity leave. Things changed so quickly and I didn’t have a chance to adapt. I simply couldn’t. Pregnant. Redundant. Alone.

My family were miles away, my husband stuck in another country and with borders closed I was going to have to give birth alone. Like I said, I really didn’t think I would be here like this. With not long till my due date, I thought I’d go for a walk and try to stay as active as possible. Doing everything on my own was now becoming extremely difficult, but I didn’t have anyone else. Even if I did, the control freak that I am wouldn’t allow anyone else to do things for me.

Where was I? Ah, a cold Wednesday. I told myself to get out for a walk, although my body was saying otherwise. I was tired and wanted a hot chocolate, I struggled with my trainers and left my apartment. The closest store was a 10 minute walk away, so I started my walk. Slow and steady, although I was finding it extremely difficult to breathe. I am ashamed to say I saw a bench and utterly dissolved into it. I did finally manage to get to the store, only to forget what I came for. Baby brain - the joys of pregnancy.

So I left with a few fruits, leaving with things I didn’t come for. On my way back, I noticed a strange woman. Sat on the exact bench I was at, only she was taking pictures of people walking by. She had frazzled hair, a greasy leather jacket and these horrible boots that looked like they’d been ripped of a dead person.

I didn’t want to walk past her and have my picture taken. So I carried on waddling and hoped she would pay no attention to me. All of a sudden I felt a tug on my shoulder bag, I gasped and turned around. The roads seemed to have emptied themselves, it was just me and the strange woman. She asked me what I had done to my husband. Naturally I was baffled, “I’m sorry what do you mean, I don’t know you and you’re making me uncomfortable now”. “Don’t lie to me girl” she screeched. I could feel myself panicking. She hadn’t let go and her touch felt as though she was burning me.

I looked down, my leggings had just become soaked. My water broke. Immediately I panicked, still had a few weeks to go. The baby would be early and all my worst fears popped into my head. “Please let me go, I need to call an ambulance” I cried. “You have fooled everyone around you, you have lied to your family and now you think you can lie to me?” She bellowed. I could feel myself becoming angry, and not the type of anger where you want to slam a door but the type where you want to kill someone.

“You crazy bitch, what do you want from me” I shouted. Slowly I pulled my knife out of my handbag, and I went straight for her neck. “You do not frighten me girl, I have seen far worse than you”. I was panicking now, really badly. I didn’t think this through and boy am I regretting it. What I did next was not a smart move on my part. I left the body at the scene and managed to make it to my apartment. I cleaned myself up, packed a bag and called a cab to the nearest hospital.

No one would suspect a pregnant woman, right? I was in labour for gods sake who would they believe I thought to myself. I was checked out by doctors straight away, I was in early labour and they would keep me monitored. Great. Who do I call? I grabbed the black notebook. I saw what I was looking for and called the number listed. I said “Bring me a pomegranate” and hung up immediately. That was code for get rid of the body.

I don’t know who arrives at the scene, who takes away the body or what happens. I just know the job gets done and there are no questions asked. How was I getting away with this? I impressed myself. The next 18 hours would prove to be the most painful, backbreaking hours of my life but I welcomed my beautiful baby girl. I called her Rose. She had to be monitored as she was born early but a month later and we were out.

I got away with it. No knew how I had done it and no one would ever know. I walked away a murderer, a mother and rich. Of course the next thing I did was leave the country, the restrictions had been lifted and I shifted to New Zealand. All because of a little black book and some money.