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8:32 PM - The Beginning

by Julia Jacobs 8 months ago in fact or fiction

A Mother's Nightmare

Misty at 17

8:32 PM

A Mother’s Nightmare – The Beginning

One beautiful Friday, September 22, 1977, at 12:09 Noon, my first miracle was born. A sweet 5 lbs. 13 oz, 19 inches long, blue eyes, head full of dark hair. Her dad named her Misty Ann, after the movie, Play Misty for Me, and my mom.

The world seemed exactly right. Life was good, little did I know what Life had in store.

Family Genealogy Background

I grew up in a loving big extended family in Sunnyvale Texas. Relatives every house on the block, Duckworth Square it was called after my mom's side of family.

Everyone had been married forever. Very few divorces, if any, that I remembered. God fearing people with strong beliefs.

I finished high school year early and decided next thing get married. I should have chosen college but past is the past.

My husband family different, even though I met him at church. Lots of divorces, dark secrets, alcohol, incest, abuse etc. Of course, no one mentions any of that until after the fact when it’s too late.

I did not understand the realm of some of these things till it ripped my heart out and took my sanity.

First, was betrayal unfaithfulness that kept coming with apologies. My grandfather said, we do not get divorces, so I stayed in unhappy stressful situation. Then, the other dark secrets began to happen, affecting other members of family. Sexual abuse, drinking etc. I never knew what that was in my whole life.

Then, it touched my daughter right after my son was born. She had been threatened if she told that harm would come to me and her brother, but she finally got the courage one afternoon at 4:00 pm. Death to person responsible was all consuming my thoughts and actions as they stepped through the door 10 minutes after she told. But she stopped me screaming and crying do not momma, do not hurt him. I dropped the knife and lost my mind. No one ever thinks in their right mind that they cannot leave their children with the other parent to go shopping, run errands etc. or go up to give baby a bath without something like this happening. But it is a sickness learned, not something normal people do. Daddy was taught, involved, and hurt by same sickness from his dad, and his dad from his dad and so on. No one ever talked about it till too late. Too many children damaged for life, some would overcome and be better, some never would.

Years of police, counseling, living with man I hated as roommates so Justice system would not let him have unsupervised visits, which is what divorce attorney was going to do, 40 years ago. Detective said, no one believes children over adults in Mesquite, and it could take up to 2 years to even come to court. He will get a slap on wrist, 6 weeks counseling, and a fine, the visitation will be what the law allows.

I said never going to happen, I will give up my life to make sure my children never alone with him again. I lied to friends and family and him, said I still loved him to stay and protect them, I made him go to counseling for 5 years and the truth came out about all the dark secrets in that side of family.

I was crazy, PTSD, etc. for years afterward. No one knew why I stayed, but I had to protect children. I was hospitalized and suicidal myself many times over the entire situation.

She went through multiple weekly appointments counseling, meds for sexual abuse, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, bed wetting etc. Her grades were always A in school, but her thoughts were occupied with adult things.

Psychiatrist said you are looking at one of two things. Promiscuous or lesbianism. I said what you are crazy. Surely all this time and counseling will fix it, he said nope its lifelong damage that will change with age. He was correct unfortunately. There should be other options. Of course, I did not know or been taught to take it all to Jesus. I believe if I had he would have changed many things. I was raised in a Baptist church, visiting other religions over the years, but NOT ONE SINGLE ONE EVER TAUGHT ME THE TRUTH ABOUT JESUS, GRACE AND THE POWER AND AUTHORITY, WE AS BELIEVERS HAVE WITHIN HIS WILL. NOW, IT MAKES ME MAD I WASTED ALL THOSE YEARS NOT KNOWING.

I already had hate in my heart. I made many mistakes over next 13 years, but I stayed till last child old enough he could decide not to visit, and my daughter had started her own family.

So it began, at 13, boys at the window. Sneaking out. Skipping school.

At 15, pregnant by first boyfriend. Miscarried at 2 months.

Next, pregnant at 17 by another guy. Then at 18 1/2 second baby same guy, they got married when baby was 7 months. Life got hard. She was suffering from extreme stress and emotional abuse. Then told if she took her meds, she was just a dope head by husband. Times were tough. He could not hold a job, no education, and always having to move. He is another story. She listened and stopped her meds. Wrong thing to do. I will say no more, because I do not want to hurt grandkids and I would not have them without him, but he was a terrible turn in life for my daughter. He has done his best for the kids.

She did hold a job until the day daughter was born. She was smart, intelligent, and helped the husband start their own business. There was not anything she could not learn or do when she sat her mind to it. If she did not know how, she figured It out. Lots of drive. But she loved this man and was afraid to leave, her fear was justified in many ways, emotionally.

By 25, she had 4 children, a husband, no job, and they were still always struggling because he could not get it together. Daycare was not affordable with four children. He had also insisted she get an abortion between child 2 and 3. She never got over that either. Just more abuse. Couldn’t get meds from doctor for her mental illness so street became answer. Well, as time went on her teeth became an issue……our family have terrible gum disease. As she went to dentist and tried to fight tooth problems, the pain pills became a crutch. She needed increasingly and because she didn’t have her mental health meds, they became her go to answer. That went on for long time, until they no longer did the job. Then heroin came along for her, and his pot addiction continued as it always had.

Husband caught her one day and just went crazy, but he would never take responsibility for his part in her problems that caused the issue. Never tried to help her only condemnation and more abuse. I wanted to beat him, I tried. But he was a kid too and didn’t know how to do any better.

After 12 years of a horrible marriage, full of no stability, no future, only issues over and over, and catching blame about drugs while both doing them. Not seeking any medical help or otherwise for her, she gave up.

She said Mom I just cannot stay any longer. I must get away from him. I believe she loved him, but he was no good for her or the kids. At 45, he has improved his life and I do believe he loved my daughter and despises what happened to her but nothing he can do. He tried coping by living from rental property to rental property, finally found a respectable job he was good at. He went from woman to woman only to have someone help with the kids. Now, he lives with his ex-sister n law (now Wife) who has done better for herself over the years but taken years for my daughter’s children to accept her as stepmom and not Aunt. Not sure they ever will.

I watched my daughter struggle to take care of her children for years with not one red cent of child support through the state, just occasionally shopping trips, and emergency help in situations, which was better than nothing at all, but never enough. Said he would never pay child support on a steady basis, said she would spend on drugs, so she could never create any stability. So, she lived where she could, fed them at churches etc. or would finally break down and call to get my help. Then CPS stepped in more than once with her and with their dad when they would go back to him. I took two of the boys for a year or more, daughter went to her Dad and oldest boy 17 struck out on his own with his mom or couch hopping with friends. Devastated. Angry. Searching for answers. Trying to protect her.

Mind you this all happened just prior to her being report missing and presumed dead by foul play.

fact or fiction

About the author

Julia Jacobs

Retired widow. Background Construction Real Estate Hospitality Ranching, Mother if 2 one lives in Heaven, grandmother of 8, great grandmother of 2. Animal lover.

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