YOUR PAINTED FACE

Hey mum, I never told you this but... I am a thief.

Now before you assume the worst, let me just clarify that I have not robbed any convenience stores or a gas station.

I have never worn a black face mask and snuck up to people in dark alleys, nor will I ever.

I promise.

My larceny never went beyond your makeup bag and wardrobe.

Yes, I stole your makeup.

Your clothes, shoes, jewellery and everything that belonged to you.

But I must admit, your makeup was my favourite plaything. I have a drawer filled with make-up products you thought you lost throughout the years.

You weren't losing your mind, you did buy a new lipstick just 2 days ago but I took it the day after. You're not a klutz or disorganised, I nipped it out of your makeup bag when you weren't looking.

I got pretty good at taking your things without your permission and making it seem like it was your fault.

Looking back, I realise how wrong that was and I am sorry.

But I did it, I took it.

Not everything, just your lipstick and mascara and blush and eyeshadow, some eyeliner too.

I stole them to look like you.

To practice your techniques, how you applied each substance effortlessly to enhance the great beauty you already possessed. How a stroke of eyeliner brightened your warm, loving chocolate eyes. How the hint of lipstick on your lips stretched as you smiled- illuminating hope and comfort right into the hearts of the people surrounding you.

I studied the routine of how you applied your makeup and made it my own. Every move had to be precise to ensure the results would be the exact replica of your face plastered on mine. The pattern was always the same;

First- foundation, your clear skin welcomed the coverage. Each layer blanketed, overtaking as a second skin. It is set ready to embrace the further details that will complete the look- kinda like yourself. You brace yourself before others, taking the brutal hits of the world just so we can stand on your shoulders to claim it.

Then comes the concealer- covering the dark circles you gained from sleepless nights, thinking about your children and how you can make our lives better. You concealed your emotions, especially in difficult times. Forcing a smile on your face even when you were shattered to the bone.

Foundation powder comes next, it is to set the foundation and concealer in place then pave the way for the bronzer, blush and shimmer. It is the bridge between the complexion products and everything else. The bridge that strains to keep each product in line and obedient to their roles. The bridge that supports and unifies her family.

The bronzer- Your complexion becomes that of a dazzling goddess, bringing forth the warmth that lies within you. Dimension is added to your face, re-sculpting your features and re-defining your oval-shaped face. You sculpted me. I am me because of you. Your teachings and guidance lie within each of your offsprings, we are the image of you and each compliment received by others is a dedication to your dedication.

Blush- each stroke on your dimpled cheeks restoring life into your very soul. Long gone are the dark circles and pale skin but as the blush takes its place, it reassures life still lingering beneath the skin. A life which you then proceed to breathe into those you hold dear, offering pieces of yourself along with it.

You shine. Even before you add your final product, you sparkle and glow beneath the blinding glint of the sun's rays. You highlight the bridge of your nose, across the tops of your cheekbones and at the centre of your chin.

You spray the finalising liquid, every product is resuscitated, morphing into one beautiful portrait that is you.

You sit in front of your mirror, newly decorated.

I sit behind you, mouth agape and in awe of your every feature. You smile through your mirror at me as if I'm your pride and joy- one of them at least.

I vowed to steal more than your makeup and jewellery and clothing.

To steal more than your personality and quirks.

Or the way you walk and talk.

More than your smile and warmth.

More than your loving kindness.

I vowed to steal your teachings, and relay them to my children someday. To let the world see you through your bloodline and to steal your eyes and replace them with mine. Just so that you can look at yourself through my eyes and understand how much value you hold. To understand that all the pain and suffering you went through is not taken lightly.

To know how grateful I am and will always be.

To know how much I love you and miss you.