You Shouldn’t Feel Bad About It

There’s a stigma that if someone isn’t on social media constantly posting then they’re unpassionate about their work or something is wrong with them.

There’s a stigma that if someone doesn’t want to go out and go do something, they are lazy or they’re depriving themselves, but what’s their story about that?

There’s a stigma that if someone doesn’t like a certain movie then they haven’t lived until they’ve seen that movie

But we’re humans and we can’t do everything. We have a limit on what we like and we have an identity to ourselves of what we dislike. It doesn’t mean that there’s an immense hatred for it, it just means it’s not the vibe, and people somehow take not liking things as a form of disrespect or being uncultured. It just burns my blood when someone isn’t willing to understand the other person why they don’t like something and take that as a form of insult. And then when that person makes someone feel bad for not liking it, that’s when I have to step in and say a few things.

Social media

As much as we can lay back on our beds and be immersed in the small screen that shows us all the big things going on and many careers are started over phones, I am currently working from my phone as you are reading this. Social media helps us stay connected and it helps us with our passions but sometimes it’s easy to be overstimulated or guilted. We see other things going on in people's lives and we wanna be a part of them or we wonder why we’re not them.

With the ever-growing list of social media apps and having to keep up with them as content creators that’s an even bigger ball game to tackle every single piece of social media and update them every single day. I’m very passionate about my book and something I’ve had to think about is having to constantly update pieces of social media and it is exhausting. It’s what I signed up for but then I also thought about things that I don’t have to do all the time.

I am not a Facebook girl, I tried it, it’s not my place to share my thoughts and that’s OK. I have other friends that are not Facebook people either. I have friends that are not Instagram people and they are perfectly OK not having that app in their social media excursions.

There is a celebrity that I think about when it comes to social media and it gives me a lot of comforts to know their placement and social media. Kate McKinnon has gone on record to say that she has no social media. Not because of the constant updates but it’s just a choice that she made for herself regardless of her career.

Taking Time For Yourself

There’s another stigma that has slowly been dispelled about missing out on everything. Whether it’s the fear of missing out, or just not wanting any part and you don’t mind missing out on something that you didn’t even miss or consider in the first place. There have been many times that I’ve been told that I would regret some things in life that I didn’t do when I am very comfortable with what I did not want to do and yet I was made to feel bad about it.

I used to be big into anime conventions. Throughout the latter part of my childhood I spent any money I had my hands on to pay for costumes or get trinkets and get my tickets for the badges. I’ve worn my anime nerd badge with pride.

I moved forward with my life and conventions did not move forward with me. And 2019 I announce to a lot of my friends that I would be making a focus to transition to being a writer and finally get my butt going. Some of the answers I got were for support and the other answers I got were scoldings and some of these friends were shocked and confused about why I would give up the conventions when I said it pretty simple, “I’m dropping conventions to work on my career.”

It did make me confused and a little sad. But it had to serve as a reminder that it’s my life, not theirs, this was my decision and they did not respect it. He told me that I shouldn’t have to feel bad and it set the stage for who would be in my corner.

Everyone has their version of fun. For some people that could mean going to fun places, for others they like to be in their bubble. If someone is there and the bubble makes him happy, why would someone want to take that person's happiness away, probably because they don’t wanna understand why in the world no one has the same idea fun of going to big places?

Someone shouldn’t have to feel bad or be made to feel bad because their ideas of fun don’t match.

Some people just will not understand the other person’s perspective, And that’s OK, let them go off. It was their choice to not listen to you, and you know what’s good for you. And you know what you want for your life that you know that you’re not missing out on.

You shouldn’t be made to feel bad about something you never wanted to go to.

Movies

That’s weird, right? Being made to feel bad about a fictional movie?

There’s a whole pantheon of movies out there for everyone to immerse him selves into and choose how they want to be entertained by that film. We learn things from films and their films have become a part of our childhoods, a part of conversations. Movies do have a placement in conversations and often it can be kind of a risky conversation because of this unnecessary judgment if someone has not seen a certain film even if it is a classic movie.

Everyone watches different things: current films, cult classics, hidden gems, etc.

Yet, people are made to feel bad if they haven't seen the movie that is mentioned in conversation. Sometimes it is unintentional because someone is so shocked that the film mentioned isn't seen. But then some go out of their way to make someone watch something the other person clearly has expressed is not what they like.

I’m not a sci-fi person, I can count on my fingers how many sci-fi shows and movies I watch and it doesn’t even take up all 10 fingers.

With that mentioned, it doesn’t make me want to watch Star Wars, and I’m having a tough time getting through Stranger Things because it’s an idea of world-building that isn’t really on par with me.

With that said, when the question comes up if I have seen Star Wars, I just answer that I’m not into Star Wars because sci-fi is not my thing. It’s a valid answer, yet my answer isn’t respected, and I’m told I have to watch Star Wars.

It’s like asking someone to fall in love with someone else, there has to be love, it can't be forced.

We are allowed to like different things, it makes us unique, it gives us an identity and we got to learn about what someone likes but it’s important to learn with someone doesn’t like so we can know what not to talk about so they don’t feel left out but then they don’t feel bad about what they don’t like. Yet, this continues of shaming people and making them feel bad for not watching a certain piece of fiction.

I call it fandom shaming.

If you have been made to feel bad because of what you choose to watch, I wouldn’t have conversations about movies with that person anymore. Does it show their character that if they’re going to judge you because of your movie, then what else would they judge you upon?

You shouldn’t have to feel bad because of what you love and don’t like to watch.

Someone should not make you feel bad because you don't do what they do.

You do you boo.