The idea of writing to my biggest hero seems quite a daunting task. To whom would I write? The musicians who made life worth living for all those years? The authors who gave me a place to hide when I needed an escape? Those who I created in my mind as to not feel lonely? Who is my biggest hero? And it came to me; you. You are my hero. You, the disjointing, crumbling, soft girl perpetually in shambles. You, the resilient force of nature brought back from the ashes. You, in every shade in between. You, me.
I write to you instead of me as it is easier to tell the story of you and not of me. You have not always been confident in the future, the idea of the future. And yet, you persisted. You were not done. The magic of life was not lost on you no matter how lost it was on me. You made big plans and then bigger plans. The smallest things that brought you such joy are the same things that made life worth living. Babies wearing glasses, dogs with really short legs, the smell of rain, hearing a great song for the first time, the first sip of coffee in the morning; it was all magic to you. It was all you needed to convince yourself that the world is magic and, by association, you are magic.
I wish I had realized it sooner. That you are in fact the biggest hero I've ever had. You didn't give up on me even when I had long ago been defeated. A team, we were. Even when you weren't prominent in my mind's eye. Each time I thought I couldn't do it anymore, there you were. "Imagine what you will miss!" You would say. "Think of all the things you have yet to see. All the magic you haven't witnessed. All the love you haven't given. We are not done."
The fight has not been easy. This life has not been easy. But it has been magical, that's for sure. Each day there is a new joy to receive, a new miracle to witness, a new magic to behold. There is love and there is triumph just as there is darkness and sorrow, but one would not be without the other. That is life. That is how it's meant to be. I know that now, thanks to you. The sorrow will pass and there will be triumph once more. There always will be a tomorrow, thanks to you.
And, as I sit here typing this, I realize we have come full circle. I am you. I am more you now than I have been before. I am now the you that would come to me all those years ago saying wait, we have not experienced enough magic to be done yet. And you were right. We still have not seen enough magic to be done yet. We will be 100 and not have seen enough magic yet. Just think of all the magic I would have missed without you. You are the hero of this story, of our story, my story. So many do not realize the gravity they have of being the hero of their story. Time and again who is there on the darkest days and the brightest. The person who is always there; you. I write this as much for them as I do myself. You, my friend, you are and will always be the ultimate hero of your story. That is a promise.
With all the love and respect,