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Without YOU there is no ME

You chose my life over yours and for that I owe you mine.

By Georgia MichaelidouPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Sometimes I have so much to say: so many unspoken I love yous and thank yous for all you've done for me and gave me but...A gasp of fear that it might be the last time I ever say those words to you stops me, to keep a hope inside me that we always have tomorrow.

My by choice best friend, chosen mother and biologically grandma, I wish I was kinder to you and spend more time with you when I could.

Being your daughter's daughter was not the easiest and we are both well aware, even though for you its harder to say because you have the kindest heart and see beauty in all. Good and bad. When mom started abusing medical drugs and the feeling of abandoment and fear settled in my soul, you came along and "adopted" my soul and saved me. You gave up your dream of achieving the higher position in your nursing career to raise me and give me a chance to see life for my own.

On my 10th year on this earth you bought me a globe and asked me to spin it with closed eyes and I still remember the twinkle in my eyes when you told me that where my little finger landed was our next adventure. We played this game so many times that my passport pages look like a fiction book, filled with untold stories, endless laughs and memories that are carved in my mind forever. You held my hand and showed me the world when mine was collapsing.

In my world, Mom and Dad were always fighting and I remember the first thing I did was to call you to come "save" me. You were my safety net, an escape from reality and the only sence of stability I had in my life. I woke you up at 2am, 4 or even 6 to come and not once you told me you were tired or denied a call. You placed your life on pause to save mine and I have never heard you complain or give up on me.

Growing up I was pretty lonely with no one to talk to, a friend to call mine or anyone to lean on when days got hard. Through my loneliness I got a friend in you who was always there to motivate me, inspire me and help bring out the best in me even when I couldnt see it myself. You showed me the beauty of art and history and has turned my brain into a walking wikipedia with all the stories and things you taught me. Teaching me art has helped me choose my purpose, which you supported with all you could give. I know you don't know this but I still have the pen you gave me at 14 and that very pen has been the tool I passed all my exams with so far ( thankfully you bought me a refillable one).When I said to you I wanted to give up, you signed up for a degree at the age of 62 to prove to me that I could do it and that nothing is impossible. You graduated with honours and set a very high stake for me to idolize, I never said so but I am so proud of you yiayioulini(Granny).

My number one fan was always you, You were always front row at everything I ever did or achieved. Even when you would spend 20 hours cleaning, cooking, studying you never found an excuse to be there for me, and you always have been. When I hosted my first galery show I invited 100 people and put up flyers everywhere, yet only you were the one to show up. To me that was all that mattered, you were the one I wanted to make proud and your presence made me fell fullfilled.

You gave me wings to fly and so I did. I left you to come become a better me as you always told me I would.

But grandma..the truth is I am sorry.I am sorry that growing up I took you for granted. I chose temporary people over you. I chose to drink and party when I could have had more time with you. Now I am scared that tomorrow might never come for me to be with you and do I all I want and show you the woman I am becoming.I wish I could find the words to say to you how much you mean to me, how much I appreciate your sacrifices and how much you changed my life. You taught me the true meaning of unconditional love with no pause and no flaws. Granny I Miss you and I wish I could give it all up and run back to your arms, that's where home is.I am miserable without you but I will never tell, I want you to know I am happy so you can be happy. Your smile is all I need to heal my wounds and get through it all.

I hope I am given a chance to say all the uspoken things I want to say to you and for you to be front row at my graduation for one last time.

Granny...I love you and thank you for giving me a better life, you trully deserve more than this world could ever give to you.

With all I am ,

Georgia

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About the Creator

Georgia Michaelidou

Business student in my 20's with a strong keen of fashion and desire to speak up my mind. Big love for the world in all its colours, forms or shapes. Every tomorrow I try to be better than the me of today.

-London based

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