Why You Shouldn't Have a Crush

Many people get their first crush in elementary or middle school.

You first notice the girl sitting next to you in class. She is dressed really nicely today. Her hair is pinned up with a few strands framing her face. She always helps you with your classwork or homework when you get stuck on a question. In the downtime of class, she shares her book with you and lets you read with her. Over time, she becomes the highlight of your day. Every day you come in, you hope she did too, just so you can see her. The thought puts a smile on your face.

You could also have the memory of a boy who chases you around the playground every day at recess. He pulls your hair or taps your shoulder when he passes by you in the halls when you're not looking. Sometimes, he even calls you by that stupid nickname you hate. You tell your mom about him, and she tells you that he has a crush on you. All boys tease and pick on the girls they like.

In high school, the routine is a little more strict. Your classwork is a little more demanding. The bell rings and you have four minutes to get upstairs to the other side of the school. You take the same path every day. It takes a few seconds longer, but there are fewer people so if you walk fast enough, you can make it. You definitely don't take this path just so you can see the pretty girl standing at her locker, talking to her friends every day after fourth period. Little do you know, she rushes out of class when the bell rings so she can see you too.

In school, crushes don't hold that much influence or consequence. You can wiggle your way into their friend group in an effort to get closer. You can invite them to hang out outside of school or invite them to the next school formal as your date. The worst they can do is say no. If you're rejected, you move on.

Adult crushes can be a little bit more complicated. Especially when you meet the person at your job or from your friend group. These crushes hold a little more impact than just a school-girl crush. If they don't like you, you make everything awkward enough until someone leaves.

If you get a crush on someone from your friend group, don't tell anyone. Don't tell your best friend, don't tell your sister, don't tell your mom. One way or another, that person will find out.

If you do tell someone, be prepared for sly comments and inside jokes. Get your code name ready because you don't need your crush to know that you're talking about him.

When your crush finds out (because he will), he will insist on having a conversation with you about it. This conversation will lead to heartbreak, because he will tell you what you want to hear and pretend he likes you back, but then he will go and sleep with as many girls as he wants. He will have you waiting on him, but he won't wait on you.

This will make you jealous, but you will never admit to it. You find out what's happening from the other members of your friend group because he doesn't have the balls to tell you he lied. He won't tell you the truth. The entire group will all pretend as though you aren't heartbroken, but it will be heavily implied that he is a major dick for what he did to you.

When this inevitably happens, you will download Tinder in order to get over your crush. If he can sleep with other people and not feel bad about it, why can't you? (It's definitely not an attempt to make him jealous, no way. You're better than that).

You'll eventually find your self-worth and begin to pull yourself out of the depression you've dug yourself in t0. You realize how much better you are than the other girls he's sleeping with. You tell yourself that he was the one who gave up a good thing. He tossed aside a girl that would have treated him right. The only thing you lost was a walking red flag.

You won't be sure whether or not distancing yourself is a good idea. On one hand, you like the idea of him hiding in his room when you visit the house. He doesn't stand near you and doesn't look you in the eyes when you're talking. You know that he knows he did something. On the other hand, you don't want to lose the rest of your friends. You don't want to pull away from them at all.

Of course, I'm telling you all of this from the kindness of my heart. Having a crush only to be rejected can punch your self-esteem into the dirt. You think it might just work out for once, only for the dream to be trampled on. That's how crushes work. They never like you back, hence why they are called crushes. Your heart is crushed when it doesn't work out.

They say that true love comes to you when you least expect it. You put yourself into a mindset where you know just what and who you want. You accept that you're ready for a new adventure and take the risk of getting your heart broken again, but hey, this person can't possibly hurt you as badly as the last one, right?

At the end of the day, you need to remember that the walking red flag isn't worthy of you. You can provide so much more than the girls he went after. You are worthy of someone who will treat you well and give you the attention, love, and stability you deserve. Your heart may hurt for a while, but it's all temporary. You'll move on and find someone else to pine after.