Why I Donated Blood...

If you've been wondering what I've been up to lately, I was so grateful to share with the world - back when the golden Midwestern leaves littered the Northeastern roads of Indiana - that I had officially rejoined the American workforce! It was in my ideal field - the healthcare setting! Now, however, when I initially began writing this post and practicing in that field, I reside in a MUCH different State and time than that of my beloved home state of Illinois. The "Land of Lincoln," some say fondly. "Crook County!" other's sneer. I grew up FAST on BOTH sides of the South Suburban Chicagoland Region and Northeastern or Northwestern Indiana border! My oh my, how the times have changed - in terms of one mentally ill, young woman's life, circumstances, experiences, opportunities and challenges that she alone is EXPECTED to surmount and OVERCOME...

I started this blog the last time I was unemployed, with the intention of giving a fair and objective glimpse into, "crossing over the border" from the South Suburban Chicagoland region of Illinois into the Northwestern Indiana region - where I currently reside - from the perspective of a traumatized, digitally inept, mentally ill young woman and there isn't an EASY rule book to follow for a girl - or young lady I suppose I should say - to follow given my UNIQUE circumstances. You can call me yellow - but not out of FEAR. Or Submarine songs by The Beatles. Or Coldplay Songs from 2003-ish..? If anything I'm like a sponge...

LIKE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS???

If there's one thing even the most basic trained caregiver who once dreamt of becoming a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, it's that a small girl with a loud mouth and a lot to learn, must learn to quickly absorb their surroundings... like a sponge. "READ THE ROOM... but clean off your shades or spectacles before doing so!" While I adore music and art, math has simply never been my strong point. So, I break down life into an EVEN SPLIT by simply trying to sort out that which is "GOOD" from that which is I think is "PROBABLY NOT SO GOOD". Sponges - and, yes, microphones, glasses and gloves - like Mr. Spongebob Squarepant's demonstrates in the cartoon pictured above - courtesy of Pintrest.com and Google.com are HIGHLY susceptible to bacteria of ALL SORTS! This isn't anything new to me. LONG before the more trying times of my life and health - as well as concerns regarding the health and wellbeing of my family, friends and community - I went to a nearby community college and was educated to practice as a Certified Nursing Assistant - or CNA - from 2009 to 2013... in BOTH the states of Indiana AND Illinois! That was quite some time before the devastation of the realities of COVID-19 shook the world! In 2009, I was 19 years old. I was ambitious, driven, college-stupid, and full of energy, dreams, joy and optimism. Caregiving is an instinct that runs blue through my veins and arteries, and bleeds red all the same. For a majority of my life - since age six - I pretty much wondered everyday, "IS SOMEONE IN MY FAMILY GOING TO BE DEAD WHEN I GET HOME AND HOW DO I STOP THAT???"

MUSIC HELPS!!!!

So, I did and continue to do what CHILDREN naturally DO and ADAPTED. That being said, it was my formal, college training that has NEVER left my mind. While my initiation into this new area of caregiving was brief, It dictated how I responded to the challenge of being welcomed back into the healthcare world AS WELL AS my local community... The very nature of my role as a healthcare provider has changed dramatically, however. I was granted the opportunity to work as a Home Health Aide, or HHA, for the State of Indiana for the first time. I've got ONE year to make that credential of any value - and am NOW expected to enter my "patient's" home-setting. Gone are the luxuries of plentiful, readily accessible Personal Protective Equipment (PPE), trained personnel to turn to when I have a stupid question - and I have LOTS OF THOSE - or needed quick assistance from my fellow caregivers... along with travel and private documentation certainty!

Nonetheless, I must NOW approach the community I interact with EXTRA precautions - regardless of my COVID-19 Vaccination status. In the State of Indiana, masking up is a matter of a business owner's discretion and a HOT TOPIC issue for some. I am obligated to represent my oath as a healthcare provider - employed or not - and mask-up for the community. I DON'T know what EVERYONE'S vaccination status is. I CAN'T make any assumptions that a person is or is not vaccinated, not sick, and AM obligated to make my PATIENT'S, NEIGHBOR'S, FRIEND'S, FAMILY MEMBER'S AND COMMUNITY MEMBER'S SAFETY my number ONE priority... which has ALWAYS been my number ONE priority.

KAREN WHO?

Whether I was scraping by on $8.50 an hour at the nursing home I first worked in, in 2009, or the $10.00 an hour I earned at the hospital that employed me, here in Indiana, in 2011, I never minded going the extra mile to honor, respect, please and protect my patient's, their family and support system's wishes - per clinical protocol. Their satisfaction, as well as the grace of my colleagues, was my personal barometer of how successful I felt I was as an HCP (Health Care Provider). The many thank you notes I have collected from my fellow colleagues and patients, families, friends and neighbors... are worth more to me than the money I ever earned. Nobody HAD to write me a note of gratitude or encouragement. When they DID, it boosted my self-esteem so high, that I WANTED to achieve more. That's what mattered the most to me THEN and NOW.

You SHOULDN'T enter the field of caregiving for the money - you just don't earn much as a low level CNA or HHA... That was the first thing I learned while practicing as a CNA that shocked me. There was a great deal of stress working with other people that saw the job as little more than money in THEIR pockets - they could've skipped the $1000.00 or so training class, went and earned more slacking off at Target - at that time, rather than neglecting their obligations as front line, reporting caregiver's for their patients - regardless of their struggles. I saw PLENTY of that while working. What mattered most to me was that I did MY job, fulfilled MY OBLIGATIONS, and EXCEEDED expectations.

Along with the realistic COVID-19 concerns as we cautiously emerge into what we are praying is ENDEMIC now rather than PANDEMIC, in the State of Indiana, where masking up IS only ONE of MANY issues I could raise here, there are a VAREITY of other biological airborne cross-contaminates one can inhale - namely pollen, pet dander, smoke, lawn fertilizer, and automotive exhaust fumes - that leaves vaccination status only ONE OF MANY elements to consider when it comes to patient or client safety, as well as for the safety of ONE'S SELF. That's what I quickly learned in the new to me field of being a Home Health Aide. Basically, if go out into a public setting, I SHOULD and usually DO do the decent thing. I mask up, sanitize or wash my hands, and wear gloves - simply out of RESPECT. And necessity - the climate here shifts as one would expect with lake effect causation and the unknown variable of HUMAN intervention. The other day - as of this early March writing - the weather was SO mild, that when I saw the almost parade-like travel of all the Northwestern/Northeastern Indiana Cops roll through the nearby traffic intersection, and heard emergency sirens glaring in the distance despite my blaring headphones, my first instinct was to call my older sibling and ask if there was a tornado! I thought to myself, "This could be a tornado or a parade... I didn't hear about no parade... IS THERE A TORNADO COMING? IF SO WHY ARE THE COPS JUST DRIVING THROUGH THIS INTERSECTION LIKE EVERYTHING'S OK???"

I cautiously approach the world from the realistic perspective that MANY people travel back and forth across the entire state of Indiana. Every time, and now, out of habit, while I was employed as a new Home Health Aide, when I would sneeze, or my nose would run, I would have to wonder, "What am I doing wrong? If so, what can I do about it? How can I remedy this at home, realistically, while continuing to maintain my employment, sanity, the household, my pets, provide quality care to my new patients, and show respect for my new community - in which mask mandates, vaccines, gun laws, traffic issues, religious liberties, animal rights issues, environmental concerns, taxes and so much more, are ALL fiercely debated issues...?"

The stakes only increased for me, personally, while I was working for the simple fact that I happened to reside with an older sibling - whose lifestyle isn't always welcomed by the elderly - those who regularly receive the services of a Home Health Aide. I did my best to accommodate, respect THEIR religious perspectives - regardless of my personal circumstances. Thank God for the beloved Arubian cunucu rescue dog that resides with me! Roxy has softened their hearts... and barks. A lot! She's an INCREDIBLY FIERCE, LOYAL and PROTECTIVE guard dog! She's softened mine and has trained me to the surprise of even some of my neighbors at times! When my family summoned me to my current residence, from an unsafe situation in the South Suburban Chicagoland Region during the HEIGHT of The COVID-19 Pandemic, I came with my elderly, beloved battle buddy. My cat, Nitty... and the first thing I did, was proceed to get the first three of my COVID-19 Vaccinations!

LUCKY US!!!

I love my family, friends, neighbors and animals dearly, simply because if you want love and respect, you should probably treat others with mutual love and respect. I always feel like the dog is getting the short end of the stick, so to speak. So I let her make a fool of me... within reason. The terrifying and beautiful thing about medicine and the biological sciences is the opportunity to LEARN in different communities. The reality of being SUBJECTED to these sciences, from the medical documents I've gleaned and retained from my deceased mother, is a WHOLE DIFFERENT MATTER. I NOW see what the wise, young supervisor REALLY meant at my first official job here in what I lovingly call, "Dog Town, Indiana". "Things are just going to get harder..." she cautiously warned me. "I know..." I managed to squeak out, choking back tears of sincere regret. "No," she shook her head. "Quit saying you know..." she continued. I shut up, looked down, and listened the best I could while collecting myself internally. If patience is a "virtue" - however you may personally define it - and "virtue" is anything worthy of aspiring to, so long as you are guarded by good-natured, patient, and tolerant neighbors, friends, family and community - you are blessed. While I was looking for a job here in the Northwestern or Northeastern region of Indiana, I invested into a simple subscription to my local newspaper, where I first read about the national blood shortage and job hunted...

YOU STILL READ THE PAPER???

The blood shortage article in the Northwest Indiana Times [www.northwestindianatimes.com]. [www.google.com]. really opened my eyes... my thoughts at the time then immediately leapt to all the children and young adults that were to be returning to school - and their families - whose lives, futures, and education's might be, for whatever reason, inevitably turned upside down by an emergency situation in which universal blood types would be needed. I also thought of all the "elderly people" like my father, his wife, my neighbors, and friends that often times care for and guide one another - who might need blood that is SAFE. Their children, their animal companions, their friends, who GRACIOUSLY, PATIENTLY, and TOLERANTLY continue to guide, nurture and inform MY GENERATION of, "Lost Little Girls" like myself who DREAM BIG and loudly and FIERLESSLY... to this very day. Whoever MAY HAVE had and continue to have THEIR lives turned upside down - before, during and throughout the COVID-19 Pandemic. The American Red Cross - where you can learn more about blood donations and the work they do by visiting their website www.redcross.org or by calling 1-800-RED-CROSS from your mobile device - can tell you more about all that...

"If there is a legitimate shortage NOW, and they can hit my veins, why WOULDN'T I try to give my blood?" I thought to myself. So I signed up, masked up, and donated blood while job hunting...

MASK ON...

The effects of COVID-19 are STILL being felt all across the nation and world. As of this writing, the world is FAR more focused on Russia and The Ukraine. Again, I find myself distracted, torn, and pulled. People across my community here in Northwestern Indiana appear to have rallied together to help care for their local neighbors in need. Almost EVERY local business seems to be making SOME sort of effort to ask for donations of all sorts to help those in need within the community - everything from spare change, to food, animal products, clothes, shoes, and even pop can tabs. Inflation for gas and food across the country, and indeed MANY parts of the world, is rising. Everyone here, and back home in what I call, "The Heights" of Illinois, is hiring or scrambling to find help, so I've heard, read and have seen so much more of. I don't have much sewing experience, as the first picture in this article glaringly reveals. I WAS able to obtain more fabric, for free, from my local animal shelter - The Indiana Lake County Adoption Facility Located off the corner of N. Main St. and E. 93rd Ave in Crown Point, Indiana. 46307... where I'm still eyeballing a volunteer opportunity... (I also picked up a book from my local GoodWill which features A LOT of information on HOW to sew properly... but field-work speaks VOLUMES.)

FIELD WORK!

Right now, all I hear and see when I'm out is that people are short, EVERYWHERE. The need for Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) like re-usable, washable face masks, as well as highly trained, skilled, and professional staff, is in high demand for first responders - in both human healthcare settings as well as animal healthcare settings - and basically, EVERYWHERE. I wanted to try and shut up for a change and show the world, my family, my friends and myself, I COULD do something alone, and NOT totally screw everything up or drive everyone crazy. Instead of running my mouth, like I have before on this blog and sort of still do. I turned to my loyal healthcare community setting, while staying committed to and respectful of my family and friends. To the best of my capacity...

WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST MASK???

The above mask wasn't sewn together by a seamstress, that's for sure, but it survived the wash test, and was donated to my local library. The library happened to be closed by the time I made it there, but I left it in a tied up bag outside their facility figuring, "hey, someone might see it, take it in, and use it to teach students there how to put face masks on their toys/dolls." It survived the, "wash-test", along with the "Hybrid Mask" pictured below that I made and donated to my local firehouse the next day to see if the library mask was taken in, pay my dues, and lucky me... the two buildings are adjacent to one another! Indeed, the bag with the mask left at the library was gone the next day. Early in the morning, before work that day, I wanted to drop off my other proto-type mask. It happened to be Veteran's Day. "Perfect," I thought, as I handed off the mask below to one of the kind older firefighters that HAVE to be there, EARLY IN THE MORNING, and HAVE to train stupid kids like me. "They'll need a mask that actually fits over a human dummy, or can donate it, or whatever...." The library mask is more "toy friendly" anyway, in my opinion. Additionally, many schools here are debating student mask mandates, whether or not staff wear masks to help promote safety or not - much to the chagrin of some parents here. I figured, at the time, that the children at the library could use my homemade mask to learn how to put masks on the toys at the library, under the supervision and guidance of the staff there. The mask pictured below, that I gave to the Firehouse, had to be a bit more durable for training...

MASK ATTACK!

"If they want me to mask up more carefully, ok..." I thought, thinking of all the times I've walked around without a mask and all the times I have. "Hey, Dog Town... my first objective here was to get vaccinated!" As of this writing, I HAVE been a-symptomatic of COVID-19, and received my booster... There is little, however, I WON'T DO to satisfy and protect my patients, who also happen to make up my neighborhood and community. That being said, when there's too many cooks in the kitchen, the opportunity for cross contamination is a very REAL reality, especially for simple, music-loving girls from the South Suburban Region of the Chicagoland area, that came up into Dog Town, Indiana with an old cat and some dumb dreams. I do my best. If there's one thing I DIDN'T carry with me over the border, from Illinois into Indiana, it was BITTERNESS. That being said, being hunched over a screen - or worse - phone, bores me!

"Welcome to Dog Town, Crazy Cat Lady!"

While launching what I jokingly call the, "Shut-Me-Up Campaign!" and realizing by GENTLY pricking my finger countless times, I "SUCKED" or at the time was, "NOT SO GOOD" at sewing! I innovated, or, "flipped the script" so to speak. I was able to make the above sign for a local artisan café. They were on my, "LORD, I OWE THESE PEOPLE... SOMETHING!!!" List! They have graciously displayed the artwork above in their thriving artisan café alongside FAR superior artwork! The workers there likely didn't want or need a face mask that was "questionable". The hardworking team at The Sip Artisan Café, located at 11 N. Court St. in Crown Point, Indiana. 46307 - much like the Animal Heroes at Coyne Veterinarian Center - located at 10969 Broadway Ave. in Crown Point, Indiana. 46307. have ALWAYS treated me with NOTHING but kindness and respect - even at my most OBLIVIOUS. [Addresses courtesy of Google.com, Facebook.com. Memory.]

I noticed again, these past few days while WANDERING - or "Waddling" I secretly giggle to myself, because I AM lucky enough to KNOW who Waddle and Silvy are... sort of. "GO BULLS!" I've learned A LOT about operating remotely, on a budget - "en la voiture, et avec mon pieds" that's just my poor French way for saying, "in the car and with my feet!" Anyway, Coyne Veterinarian Center, Strack-and- Van-Til [also located on Broadway Ave. in Crown Point, Indiana, and near PetSuppliesPlus and LiqGo! off E. Summit St., which intersects with Broadway Ave...] they matter to me as much as my neighbors and friends back home! Why would I be MAD at them??? There ain't no, "BAD" people there! My Dad, Roxy, Older Sibling and the community are ROOTING for me. Well, some are...

My best friend here, Georgia, she gave me some good advice awhile back... "You've got to WANT it, Olivia..." she said, shaking her head. "Oh Grandma," I thought to myself smiling, I DO! Show me the way!" And she did, and I walked away, thanking God.

HOPE IS ON THE HORIZON...

I think I was walking the dog one day after I lost that first Home Health Aide job... she was looking at the ground, sniffing, and I was looking at her to make sure she didn't eat something off the ground that was TOXIC... and in NO MOOD to look up unless absolutely necessary... There happened to be a puddle in it. that day. In it, I saw a reflection... I looked up, and by God, there was a RAINBOW. If I remember anything about the Bible correctly, rainbows were God's "promise" to not drown the entire planet again out of HATRED, VENGENCE or RAGE. It cheered me up so much that day! Natural rainbows, like the one pictured above, are inherently beautiful - to me anyway... They represent many things to many different people. Science says one thing, religion another, politics again, another... to me, they inspire hope. So before I go running my mouth about Russia, or supporting the LGBTQ+ Community - stuff that I simply don't know enough about as of this writing, I want to take a moment to thank everyone I've ever met. Everyone has taught me a lesson, and the lesson of life never ends. I want to take a moment to acknowledge the conflict that is currently occurring at the Ukrainian border. As I walk for the moment, here and there, masked up, cleaned up, trying to donate what I CAN, and obtain some FOOD without SCARING people... I reflect on my initial donation to The American Red Cross in the early Autumn of 2021... "How can we help the people of Ukraine, realistically? I'm having enough trouble just trying to walk down the street, listen to music, mail back supplies to my past employer, donate goods that I CAN, and manage a very small income. That's nothing!"

If all I can offer to the Ukrainian people, to show my support, is a picture of that rainbow, then it's all theirs. (It WAS a rainbow, it kinda' belongs to everyone... but I pray it inspires hope in the Ukrainian people during their darkest hours, like it inspired hope in me, during mine...)

MORE TO COME!!!

Visit www.thetrevorproject.org to learn more about supporting the LGTBQI+ Community. Text the International Crisis TextLine by texting "HOPE" "NAMI" "HOME" or "DBSA" from your mobile device to 741741. Call 911 or the National Suicide Helpline at 1-800-273-TALK - or visit their website - www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org - to chat remotely if you or somebody you LOVE has made suicidal comments or threats and you need immediate assistance. Support and educate yourself on the coming 988 proposal - a way to AVOID calling 911 and Emergency Services to be directly connected to a crisis counselor that can AVOID having cops and ambulances visiting your household. (That's still being debated and legislated over... but it's COMING... this July of 2022!). Or, visit their websites and become a volunteer! Since I want to be a voice and advocate for the LGBTQI+ community (that stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgendered, Questioning, Intersex and MORE Community) I want to hear their stories and witness the trauma first hand, from the many young voices that struggle with their sexuality, especially in the State of Indiana. Their voices have been silenced like mine has here - even if I'm straight. I AM mentally ill and traumatized, like many of these young individuals are. The youth that organization represents ARE STASTICALLY at a higher risk of experiencing mental health and behavioral health issues. Estimates from a GOOGLE search indicate that approximately 40 to 60% of all LGBTQ+ Community members, specifically their youth, will experience bullying, trauma, or experience a mental health episode at some point. Nowhere is this more true in the state of Indiana, where even ACKNOWLEDGING the existence of being, "GAY" or "MENTALLY ILL" or just a "LITTLE GIRL WITH A YOUNG DOG AND OLD CAT" causes un-necessary shock to the many KIND and TOLERATE elderly residents here. They just don't know about these issues. They genuinely don't. It makes them uncomfortable. And as a healthcare provider, I can and have to RESPECT THAT.

SO WE DO... TOGETHER!

Love is Love, Adoption is Love, RESPECT IS LOVE. And even MUSIC - which is LOUD MATH - is LOVED. Within reason...

ART, ART!