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Why having friends lowers your chances of success

Friends are nothing but liability

By Shalin ThomasPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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Why having friends lowers your chances of success
Photo by Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash

Disclaimer to all the social butterflies 🦋 reading this:

You’re going to flip after reading this article!

Having said that, let’s begin…

The main purpose of having friends is to have a circle that gives you company, therefore giving you some entertainment.

People often keep friends around in order to get support, share like-minded conversations, or to escape the boredom.

So does that mean you’re using them?

Friendships are transactional

All relationships are transactional; including friendships.

Parents love their kids because they are rewarded by the feeling of love and happiness. And kids love them back because they get their needs taken care of.

Couples love each other as they get rewarded by the feeling of love and companionship.

A businessperson loves his/her venture as it rewards him/her with monetary benefits.

Likewise, friends tend to love one another because they get rewarded by the friendships.

The rewards could be anything like trust, help, monetary benefits, company, time, status, emotional and moral support, etc.

However, the very day your friends realize that they no longer reap the benefits, the friendship becomes rocky, and even meets its end.

The dopamine rush that comes from the rewards is suddenly stopped, which makes you go crazy, heartbroken, and depressed.

Ask yourself, are they really worth it?

Friendships rob time

You might have experienced your friends demanding your time at some point in your life.

This might have caused you to cut off the time spent with your family and/or may have prompted you to take time off of work.

Overall, friendships tend to decrease your productivity.

Are they really worth it?

When you are closer to someone, you feel entitled to their time.

In the modern world, lower productivity has a direct relationship to lower success.

By this logic, we can state that:

More friends = lesser success?

If you feel like your friend is killing your productivity, it’s time to put a full stop to your friendship at that very moment!

At the end of the day, it’s always you who have to pay your own bills.

So choose wisely…

Friendships kill decisions

Not only do friendships steal your time, but also tend to inhibit your decision-making ability.

This all stems from the fact that friends often think that they know better than you.

They know you inside out, which means they are fully aware of your shortcomings.

They try their best to prove that they have the better solution in the area you are not proficient enough.

Friends need to protect their ego among the circle, and would offer advices to look wise in your eyes, even if they are wrong.

You are therefore influenced to change your decisions based on their input, which decreases your ability to analyze the situation, and to come to a conclusion independently.

Keep this up, and soon you would need someone else to make the decisions for you…

More friends = more drama

I guess this is the most common trait of having a large friend circle, and also the most prominent.

It’s normal to argue with your friends, and even to patch up later.

But what about all the drama that this cycle brings into your life?

Have you ever pondered over the stress and time drainage that these events result in?

Is it really worth it?

The frictions of friendships cause emotional stress, depression, and loneliness, therefore blocking your success!

Your privacy is affected

If you are an extrovert, you probably know!

When you become close to someone, a lot of boundaries between you and them are broken.

You start to share parts of your life with them, and so do they.

Subconsciously, they feel like they are part of your daily life, assuming that they have a role to play.

Soon they intrude your personal space with their presence. Your privacy is lost.

This affects your privacy in family life, workplace, and other aspects.

The gossips never end…

Having friends over on a Friday night means poker, booze, and lots of gossip (sheesh).

That’s a big no-no if you want to achieve success.

Gossiping can be addicting; it can drain much of your time and energy to be used for building yourself!

Not only your friends feed you with gossip, it is highly likely that they gossip about you too!

It basically stems from the very fact that they hold the keys to many of your secrets.

Always limit the information about yourself, that you share. When someone knows more about you, the more they spill.

Gossips can harm your image in society, and can even destroy your friendships and relationships.

The most dangerous part about friends is that they know more about you than others. They have the potential to manipulate this and use against you in case there’s a dispute.

Yet another reason to keep ‘em friends away!

Friends can be toxic

Lastly, if anyone is a toxic influence in your life, they are either family, coworkers, or friends…

Family is your primary support system, and they are necessary until a certain age.

You can’t avoid your coworkers since work is what feeds you everyday.

Therefore, if there is anyone toxic that you can avoid, it is your friends!

Never will you encounter any stranger who comments on your appearance, weight, failures, etc.

And you know who mostly does that!

These are the obvious signs that your friend is toxic, and you have to drop that friendship before it ruins your success.

Friends tend to be the most judgemental, yet influential people in your life. Therefore, their toxic comments can impact your self-esteem and will demotivate you from achieving success.

Next time your friend thinks you’re too chubby to fit into your favourite shirt, ditch their ass for your own good!

Side note: Although in this article I’ve stated how friendships ruin your chances of success, it doesn’t mention how they can be beneficial as well.

By no ways I’m trying to disprove of the support, help, and immense joy that comes from having good friends.

It is solely up to you to keep those friends that are assets, and cut ties with the rest who are liabilities!

Friendship
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