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Who Am I? And Who Are We?

Appreciating our uniqueness is liberating and needed in our world

By Aisha MohammadPublished 2 years ago 6 min read
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Photo by Felicia Buitenwerf on Unsplash

Who am I?

I have been puzzling over this question for some time. How should we answer it?

Recently I was on a website and there was a section to register which included a part to “tell us about yourself.” What should I say? I thought. What first came to my mind were the usual categories we are put into. I am female. I am British. They call me white. I am Muslim. I was born in the year of such and such from the generation of such and such. Yet, these are categories that could apply to anyone. There are many British, white, Muslim woman who may be born in the same year as me. Some of them may have studied psychology as well. They could even have the same name. What makes me different? What makes me a unique person? I had no answer at the time.

When I relaxed a bit however I began to let some new thoughts come into my mind. I began to get a story about a young woman who had been searching for the reasons why so many people are unhappy or even mentally ill in society. She was searching for the reasons and the solution. What could help them? So she read many medical books and eventually became interested in psychology and studied at university. Working with mentally ill people made her realize that psychology was not the answer to society's problems. She looked at the different religions and became Muslim at seventeen. Her spiritual search was also what made her decide to study psychology which is called the study of the soul in Latin. So she now sees spiritual reasons that led her to that. She decided to look for the answers to societies and the world’s problems through studying the Quran and became convinced that this book contained many solutions to world problems and personal issues despite what people may say and went to study the Quran and sharia. She then began to see the injustices in the world and inequalities and thought that as a Muslim she should defend people against inequalities and injustices as the Quran encourages. She also searched for the right ways to understand nutrition and medicine and how to look after ourselves, since she did not find the doctors to be so helpful. Many doctors allow prejudices to form their judgments of patients rather than certain knowledge and they often make many mistakes. Some are even quite unfriendly.

So these actions and intentions are one way I may be different from people who might be compared as “similar” to the above categories. However, there are also certain attributes that distinguish us from others. Recently I began to recognize certain qualities within myself after some reflection. Honesty, mercy, intelligence, some degree of wisdom, patience and understanding, thoughtfulness, spirituality, tenderness of heart, and compassion. However, I have also been told that I am over-sensitive, get upset too quickly and overreact, daydream often, sleep too much, can be lazy, and put off responsibilities.

These things I wrote because I wanted to show that who we really are is far more than what society would recognize us to be. Most often society is not interested in any of the above. They are not interested in our uniqueness and often ignore that and focus on the categories above. I realize now that my mind found it hard to ask the question of who I am without these categories. I was lost.

In fact, many things we may think about ourselves may also be wrong. Sometimes I may think that I would do something particular in a certain situation but when I am in that situation I do something else. We also have been taught to try and hide aspects of ourselves and replace them, to change or ‘fit in.’ I once read in a book that you can get in touch with your true self and who you really are through self-reflection and meditation. You have to get in touch with who you really are deep down and not what others tell you to be. I have realized recently that who I was – or am – deep down was probably a lot better than how others have been trying to make me. Was I not honest, compassionate, carefree and humorous? Now I have been taught to get upset easily, to get angry and react. Through reflection I realized that it is not me – I was taught this way, when I was younger I was not like that.

So while I think that-self-development is good we should try to identify and keep to our true selves, and get to know who we really are on a deep level. Getting to know your purpose in life, your motivation, and your values can help you a lot in making important choices such as finding a life partner, the right career, and suitable friends and environment. I have been feeling a lot calmer and more accepting of myself since getting to know myself. Knowing yourself can be liberating. I once write down all the beautiful and good things I saw in a friend of mine who was grieving. I then took it to him and read them out. He told me he felt a lot better after that and asked me to keep doing it.

When I wanted to know about myself I took a piece of paper and write down one side all the positive things that people have ever said about me and then all the negative. I realized I was not so bad after all. I also used reflection and meditation and I am still doing so. This is giving me more confidence and I am now feeling less lost and anxious.

I think the issue of categorizing people and only knowing people due to categories is a big problem in society and the reason for a lot of discrimination as well as unhappiness. Not looking out for our uniqueness and appreciating us for who we really are is making everyone unhappy. I really do not care much about people’s appearance, skin color, age, or geographical location. These things may have some importance at some times but the real thing that we should be trying to establish is who we really are deep down. If we want a friend, life partner or to work with someone then who are they? What are their values in life? What are their goals and ambitions? Are we matched with who they are inside rather than on a superficial level? It may take more time this way and be more difficult but I think that our happiness and contentment in life should be based on reality and the real world. We should know the reality of ourselves and who is with us in life. We then value them truly for who they are and are able to develop deep and meaningful connections and relationships. I have read that some people have been cured of mental illness when someone came along to understand them. Many people feel misunderstood and alone. People are lacking the connection. It’s our way of perception I think, but we can change that.

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Aisha Mohammad

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  • Matt Pointon2 years ago

    Another excellent piece! I'm really glad I stumbled across your writings and would love to read more about your journey. Reflection is the best teacher. I recently completed a four-year pilgrimage across Spain and that taught me so much about myself, I cannot begin to say. But not in the way I thought. Beforehand I believed it would give me a religious "experience" or help me to establish a regular prayer life and so on. However, what transformed my understanding of myself was chance encounters with strangers on the way. Your spiritual journey does not echo my own, but it is nice to see someone who is open enough to talk about these things candidly and non-judgementally. Not preachy, just matter-of-fact. I would love to learn more about that journey you have been on and tell you about my own one day. Safe travels!

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