When Thoughts Reveal Wonders

Sarah was the loneliest and shiest person on this planet, her small circle of friends could be counted on the fingers of her shaking hand; she mistrusted everyone and criticized those big mouths that seem to know everything but wouldn't listen to her pain. Why were they so heartless by mocking her appearance? Why was Sarah an object of their relentless derision?

Sarah was a curious person standing on a massive rock rising over a barren land that showed the vastness of a plain greener than the one beneath her trembling feet, even hummingbirds wouldn't get closer to her due to her scary traits with a bony face and skinny legs; no soothing wind brushed her curly hair resembling a crimson sky with golden clouds similar to her straw-colored and disheveled hair. She sought a nearby river to take a bath and wash off the dirt that made her uglier than she was because of the disease called Acromegaly that distorted her face already frail in the prime of her youth...how could Sarah stare herself into her mirror that frightened her enough to commit suicide? Did she have the guts to do it, or she ignored the temptation? The constant search for awareness was her salvation and Sarah felt strong in fighting this new battle with endurance!

Years passed and her appearance deteriorated keeping her away from social media, even from her closest friend Julie who didn't care about her looks, but to her caring heart lost in the midst of horror every time she saw her awful image in the pristine water of Skaneateles Lake in the Town of Scott. There Sarah spent most afternoons never daring to see her reflection in the clearest lake of the Cortland County which was in a breathtaking valley where nights were magical for young lovers as they were for her once. Not far from there, there was a basketball field where, The Lions played every Sunday and Sarah attended the game. There she met Hermes, the most handsome young man in town; he resembled Hermes the Greek god of sports with a physic that many boys wished they possessed to conquer girls. And he won Sarah's attention, not because he was popular, but for the virtue of his sweet character. Hermes had never forgotten a heinous event that occurred few months back when Bobbi and Branda purposely pulled off Sarah's blond wig off her bold head, "She wants to look like Marilyn Monroe hanging out with Hermes to show her vanity: they are the perfect example of Handsomeness and Ugliness; of course, she's the undeserving one! "And they continued to shout unkind comments while Sarah felt violated by a bunch of good-for-nothings to society!

There are indelible moments in everybody's life, and Sarah's life had its thrilling moments as well; she remembered her dad every time she pulled the faded photos out of her steel box tucked under her bed to protect them from dust, but they still yellowed even without direct sunshine gleaming on them. Sarah knew that everything would get old and die. " Why do we get wrinkles at a certain age and become feeble: trees live more than us, even turtles do? " Who was able to answer her question? Would she find an answer? Was the mere explanation of existence satisfying enough as told by some delusive preachers who had no knowledge of a Higher Power that bestowed blessings upon the believers and granted them the wisdom if they kept their faith as the saints, persisting through the toughest times ahead.

As Sarah examined her conscience which wasn't as pure as that of a saint, but she vowed to be an example of graciousness: being kinder to all, praying for ill people and comforting the lonely. " Do people get more strength from prayers or from misleading liars? " Sarah was often lied to by her own mother proclaimed that her dad was evil and nurtured a deep hatred for her, but was it the honest truth? Sarah had the evilest mom who ever existed mixing half-truths with lies; and furthermore, being an outcast hurt enough, but little she knew that beauty mattered little if one had a kind and giving heart; being lied to was a despicable act of malice, why lie to your child and hide secrets behind a defiant smile that angered up Sarah who decided to seek answers somewhere else: in the deepest abyss of subconsciousness when time would reveal a truth not too distant from the revelation she searched for. Never listen to anyone who contradicts your point of view and converts you to a false belief that none can be resolved.

That answer came days later when by chance Sarah bought an old edition of the Bible in paperback, and stumbled upon the Tree of Good and Evil in the peaceful Garden of Eden where eternity was given to the first human couple, but they disobeyed and were expeditiously expelled by archangels for their disobedience and fell to the deceit of the most gorgeous angel for his shiny beauty. Adam was tempted by Even handing him the forbidden apple; this was their assumption: " After we eat it, will we become like God! " Lucifer had deceived them with his lie, and they were thrown out of Paradise to work and sweat all the days of their lives until their death. " We could have lived forever and never know death! " Sarah reproved them with a harsh tone. " I also listened to friends who skipped school and hung out stealing and robbing people! " And catching her breath, she went on with her narrative regretting being part of lawless juveniles who became criminals and spent many years behind bars. " Is this what I want for myself? Be a con and be rejected by society? And besides all, I am a fatherless malformed teen with the face of a monster: are monsters all cruel as mom? " God will punish her for her cruelty and disaffection towards me; that's what God does when people willingly disobey Him!

And Sarah waited for the August storm to cleanse her clay-stained face and hands where she created busts of celebrities or neighbors she knew from her unhappy childhood, but the loveliest one was the bust of Mother Theresa that soothed her grief and heavy breathing after spending a whole afternoon perfecting her sculptor skills; and by an unexpected miracle her appearance changed and returned as it was in her adolescent years when her mother cuddled and sung her nursery rhymes to lull her to sleep. Sarah's eyelashes winked and she fell asleep. One could only imagine what kind of colored dreams she envisioned, and since then they stopped to fascinate her, turning dark: since then, she lost trust in all humanity.

There was times Sarah chased Monarch butterflies as far as she could until a steep cliff appeared and she pulled back afraid of falling and die, and despite her misfortune, she knew how life was worth living; giving another try, hoping that science would find a possible cure for her disease that deformed her. That was the real reason she isolated herself from society as a hermit, or lepers who hid in caves in biblical times. Was Sarah born too late to meet Jesus who healed even a soldier who had leprosy?

Many wonders Sarah saw in the idyllic beauty of that mysterious Forest, ignoring the horrid thought of her disfigured face with asymmetrical cheeks; and venturing on those dusty trails she took long walks, observing oak trees with flaming leaves and stately firs that shaded the narrow paths that ran through flower beds ornated by Honeysuckle and Petunias. How she adored lively meadows of Hibiscus and Iris that matched her cobalt eyes! Nothing made her happier than being there by herself and exploring the sublime feeling they incited. Sarah found her escape in Nature and painted its charming landscapes that saved her from death giving her the thrill to live again... having found an oasis so remote from the living who mocked and despised her, instead of showing her kindness; and the last thing on her mind, wasn't to get vengeance for their meanness. Sarah was too beautiful inside and they failed to know her and hear the gentleness of her words. Sarah sought friendship with the wrong people: out of many untrue friends, only Julie felt sympathy for her and came around to offer solace. They told jokes and sipped warm coffee watching the playful snow fall on the red berry bushes of her lawn. Nature gives us hope in its awakening, we must be patients before we marvel at the splendor of the seasons to come. Enjoy and cherish Fall's cheerfulness and stillness as Sarah did; it will instill wonderful moments in the mind and heart.