When I Stopped Working, I Realized I Was Never Free

Freedom. A word that is so powerful. A word of thousand meanings.

To some, it means to have the “right ”to do and say what you want whenever you like it. To others, it means the ability to act and speak freely or to go where you wish. Since March 2020, nearly every person on our planet has had their life shaken by the pandemic in some way or another.

Pandemic changed my perception of freedom.

Yes, currently we are all going through a life-changing event. Pandemic has denied us the “freedom of choice” and introduced restrictions on work, travel, and social activity.

It made me question what kind of rights did we have in the first place?

All of a sudden we were forced to be homebound.

We were made to work from home, study, and shop online. We accepted lockdowns and quarantines, masks, and social distancing.

In certain countries— people were banned from going 500 meters away from their houses. Senior citizens were harassed and beat up by the police if found outside of the “permitted zone”.

Others, lost their loved ones not only due to covid but because their loved ones didn’t receive the care they needed for other medical issues or were unable to undergo certain procedures.

The system crumbled — we blamed the pandemic.

It is the government wrapped in the blanket called “democracy” that failed us. They told us that we are to blame — we must stay home and save lives. And when we do so, the government doesn’t bear the responsibility for the death of our loved ones.

The same government that we elect so they protect us in case of these situations. Government should have a plan for this kind of scenario. Pandemics have happened before — so why was the government so unprepared?

But not enough of us complained — because we don’t want freedom.

Freedom is taking responsibility.

Whatever the government says — we do. Governments change rules from day to day, give and take, make and break promises and keep us in fear, constant panic.

Remember those days when parents weren’t allowed to say goodbye to their terminally ill children? Back then, there were 15,000 covid cases per day. We had no other choice than to accept it— our rights to be with our children and families were taken away from us.

A year later, we are vaccinated and the cases are surging all around the world: 20.000, 30.000 cases per day. Many of my colleagues and friends keep catching covid all over again.

The government says — let’s go back to normal.

So we listen, we go back to normal. We go back to work, we take tests, we take boosters, we arrange holidays then we cancel them, we show Covid passports, we go for lunch, we commute, dine out and go to the cinema.

It just doesn’t feel right. I feel like Neo from Matrix, hardly sleeping, feeling lonely and day by day sitting by my computer scrolling the pandemic news: the third, fourth, fifth vaccine…

I just can’t back to normal.

Just a few months back we were sent to work from home. Now, companies want to make us go back to the offices. They come up with lousy excuses why it’s better to work from the office to justify their need to control their employees. Their decisions aren’t employee-centric.

Just recently one of my friends got fired because of voicing her opinions. She asked, together with many others for “freedom”.

Freedom of choice — office, home office, or hybrid.

Nah — the company insisted on working from the office. Some walked out, but too many stayed.

And what do they do now?

They complain about the new regulations, their productivity has massively dropped and they are unhappy.

Some can settle for less.

My freedom is non-negotiable.

There is no freedom in office spaces when you can’t voice your opinions.

Some are escaping their personal relationships and running back to the office, to the normality. My friend goes to the office to flee his abusive relationship.

His “normal ” is not being able to express himself freely in the relationship. He hoped that when sharing a life with someone he loves he would be able to be heard. He was wrong.

But he still does what she says, hoping that perhaps one-day things will change for the better. Until then, he will let her take his freedom away, so he doesn’t accept the responsibility.

And until then, he would be escaping to the office.

Sigmund Freud said: “Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

I agree with him.

But I would add — people fear losing “safety” and “governance”.

Being jobless is worse than being stuck in an unhappy work environment. Being abused by your partner is better than being single. Listening to the government, even when not in agreement is better than being excluded.

Being normal, being part of society, and accepting their normality is more important than the truth of the reality.

And the reality is that we have no freedom.

We say and do things in order to be like others, to be normal so we can stay in the protection of the group, even though we don’t believe or want those things.

Belonging is more important than being true to ourselves.

When I’ve “burnout out” and took time to rest and heal I’ve realized how persuasive society is. All sorts of ideas and are forced upon us.

Persuasion is everywhere: when you turn on the TV, use a notebook, read a magazine — the pressure is everywhere. And they are affecting you subconsciously.

Many of us are chained and are unable to break free. And even if we break free, we would get so scared and would willingly put the handcuffs on the back again — just to be “included”.

Freedom is taking responsibility for your actions, even when it’s not in alignment with what others think.

My freedom ends where someone else's freedom begins. My freedom is having a “choice”, but when denied “choice” — am I denied the freedom too?

I believe that one is never truly free within society.

Thank you for reading.

This article was originally published by me here.