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What ends up in my junk box...

A Reminder of God?

By Kendall Defoe Published 2 years ago Updated 12 months ago 4 min read
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In What We Trust?

Okay, I was going to begin this one with a lengthy preamble, but I think I should begin with a long direct quote:

Claim of donation fund

God Affair donation

Good day to you my beloved in the Lord, How is everything going with you and your family? This message might come to you as a surprise, However, It all just my urgent needs for a partner, That made me contact you for this urgent transaction for the Work of God Almighty, My name is Brenda Jeffrey from United States of America, I'm a widow suffering from Breast Cancer and Stroke, which denied me a child as a result, I may not last till next two months according to my doctor report, I'm married to late Pastor William Jeffrey, and we were married for many years without any child before his death, I'm 72 years old woman and I have some funds which I inherited from my late husband the sum of (10.5 Million dollars) which I needed a very honest and God fearing person who will claim the funds from the Bank and use the funds for work of God Affair donation in the house of God Almighty, like propagating the good news of God and to endeavor God worshiping place and help less-privileged

I found your profile and I decided to contact you for the donation work of God Affair, Please if you know that you cannot afford to carry out this project by all means in the name of our Lord God as a believer in Christ Jesus please do not respond back to this email, According to my doctor report, I don't need any telephone communication in this regards because of my health condition, The reason why taking this bold decision is because my husband's relatives are not Christians and I don't want my family hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers, I don't want a situation where this Fund will be used in an ungodly manner, I am not afraid of death hence I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord Almighty, Exodus! 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace, I will like you to understand that my contact with you is a divine direction from God Almighty after all my fasting and prayers.

God opened my eyes to the book of Ecclesiastes 6,verses 1 & 2.Read this scripture and you will understand that there are many people in this world that God gave the grace to acquire wealth yet God did not give them the grace to enjoy the wealth, I happened to fall into the same category now it is the wish of God When God revealed to me to use my wealth to do his work, I understood that God was testing me like He tested Abraham and other men of God, Abraham needed a child and God asked him to use his only son Isaac for sacrifice, Abraham was faithful and obeyed the Lord Jesus Christ And God made him the father of many nations. Please if you will use this fund as I stated in this letter then direct your reply immediately, Get back to me if you are interested so that I will lead you to Ally Bank Limited International in Utah where this fund was deposited by my late husband Pastor William Jeffrey, for you to retrieve the funds in your name as the next of kin for work of God Affair. I will stop here until I hear from you soonest, Please kindly contact me back.

Always pray for my health,

May God bless you In Jesus name amen

Brenda Jeffrey

Kermit has a point...

I could forgive the bad grammar, weird punctuation, strange capitalization, terrible choice of words (God Affair?) and awkward grovelling if this were simply another begging letter from a Nigerian Prince who needs helps moving his money. But it is the tone of the piece that bothers me.

Whenever you mix religion and money, my radar goes up and I can sense several levels of bullshit behind the begging. And after recent news coming out of France, I feel no inclination to have anything to do with any religion.

So why post this here?

Well, they are going to help me begin another entry into Vocal that I was considering for quite a while. I am going to include any junk email that I feel is amusing enough to share with my meagre audience. The material will be half them and half my response.

Stay tuned and enjoy.

And if I offend you, good...!

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Thank you for reading!

If you liked this, you can add your Insights, Comment, leave a Heart, Tip, Pledge, or Subscribe. I will appreciate any support you have shown for my work.

You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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Embarrassment
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About the Creator

Kendall Defoe

Teacher, reader, writer, dreamer... I am a college instructor who cannot stop letting his thoughts end up on the page.

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