Wealth

If there was a word for the life that we are meant to live then that word would probably be something long and complicated. If instead we focused on only what made us happy, the word would probably be small and easy. The things that bring us peace in life aren't long and convoluted. They don't cost extravegant amounts of money. Money makes life easier in some ways but it does not bring happiness all on its own.

Money does not mean you are rich in anything that really matters. Wealth is an idea that has a different definition for so many people. There are people that never have to look at their bank accounts. They have people prepare food for them but never feel the richness that comes from kneading a dough yourself. They spend ten dollars on a latte but never get the joy from pressing the perfect slow drip coffee at home. They surround themselves with luxury while the world around them is taken care of by others.

I have lived a toe inside each of the world. I made six figures working for other people building up their lives, having a housekeeper and working over 100 hours a week never getting to slow down at all. I worked myself into a hospital bed with a brain bleed that no doctor could explain. I wore my body down and forgot what it was like to do things in a way that brought me joy.

The universe has a way of slowing us down when we aren't on the path that nature intends and I do not think that nature intends for any of us to work ourselves to the bone. That is essentially the most American thing that you can do. If you take your lessons from anywhere else in the world then you will start to priorize things differently. I stopped writing for myself for so long that I forgot the joy in it. I ordered so much take out on busy nights that I forgot how much I love to.cook from scratch. I forgot how it felt to feel the dough in my hands and create something from myself.

I have slowed down a lot, started cooking from scratch again to help my son. Moved to the country, got chickens, got married. There is not even take out here to order. I am also writing more. My son has severe mental health issues that doctors cannot really pin a diagnosis on. He went into his 17th inpatient stay yesterday at 12 years old. This time I don't really know when, if at all, he will come home or even get the right diagnosis.

Right now wealth looks a lot different to me. It is about slower days, growing in the warm season, learning new recipies for bread and making sure that my son is okay. Wealth looks like slow mornings with a cup of tea and a book. Writing and trying to make a living writing by going to college.

I am not sure if this is the way that things are supposed to be. I am not saying that I have all the answers but I can say that it is a lot easier to survive in the small moments focusing on the real world and doing what you can for yourself than detatching from the world around you.

The best plan for you is the one that lets you live in the world rather than just viewing it from a window you didn't even clean yourself. I am still learning. I am still taking it day by day.