We're Parking Where?

Being chosen as an Air Hostess (which is what we were called in that less PC era) was such a thrill for me. Not for the glamour and not for any of the more obvious reasons, but because someone actually chose me, Linda, a small town, country girl.

The selectors saw beyond the gauche appearance and into my heart. They were some of the first people to see that this lovely young woman would work hard for the airline and care for its passengers.

I did, I loved my time with Air New Zealand and I was proud of my work. I cared about my passengers.

Let me go back to the ‘glamour’ of the airline industry and confirm that said glamour is all an appearance and airline crew really work hard in what you’d see as a hostile environment. My Mumma-in-law always said that she could never tell if I was going to work or coming home as I always looked the same and this was how we were trained. The nail polish was always perfect, shoes shined even on rainy days. The work was in the ‘front of house’ picture, it was about knowing the safety procedures and passenger care.

OK, back to the main point of this embarrassing story. It was the end of a very long day and the crew were looking forward to stopping. One of my roles on this day was to make the pre landing and post landing announcements, so once the wheels had touched down I leant over and picked up the microphone.

We were travelling in a Boeing 737 with 120 passengers and I was seated with a co-worker, up the front behind the clear bulkhead, right where the passengers leave the plane.

Remember, if you can, about the times which bought changes to smoking rules. These changes began with people not being allowed to smoke on the plane which meant avid smokers had their packs at the ready for when they hit the causeway into the airport.

Our regular announcement at this end of the flight went something like this:

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Auckland. Please remain seated with your seat belts fastened until the aircraft has positioned and stopped outside the terminal building and please refrain from smoking until you are well inside the terminal building.”

But as I said, it was the end of the day and I was tired, so my announcement went something like this:

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Auckland. Please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the aircraft has positioned and stopped well inside the terminal building.”

WHAT?

WELL INSIDE THE TERMINAL BUILDING?

Who listens to the announcements? Most of you would say, not me, heard it all before.

Maybe it was my gasp of acknowledgement at what I heard myself say?

Maybe it was the vision of a red-faced flight attendant leaping down behind the bulkhead, laughing maniacally? But that day a whole plane load of passengers actually heard me say that this particular aircraft was going to park itself well inside the airport terminal building.

Shades of Leslie Neilson from Airplane, a 1980’s classic.

I was totally mortified and my co-worker was no help as we were both laughing but she managed to complete the correct announcement as we approached the terminal.

Now, you all know that the crew hang about in the aisles to help people with their luggage and give directions once the plane has stopped, don’t you?

Not this day and not this crew member. As soon as the safety checks were done and the door was open I disappeared into the bathroom cubicle to get myself back into shape. You know that picture of the perfect hostess standing by the exit? Well, it took me some time before I could affect this pose.

This was so embarrassing to my younger self and to my older self it is just such a funny story to tell. I do hope you’ve smiled as you read this. If so then my work is done for the day.

Sending you hugs over the airwaves, LINDA

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