Waiting

“You weren’t supposed to fall in love with someone else,” I whispered. Even through teary eyes, I could see Jacob’s face turn from excitement to confusion. I tried wiping my eyes, but I couldn’t clear them. He was going to propose to her. The ring sat in front of me, shining beautifully, mocking me.

“Evelyn?” I pulled my hands away as Jacob tried to grab them away from my face. We sat in silence for a while. It felt like years before he spoke up again. “I don’t understand what’s happening right now.”

I tried to laugh but it cracked on the way out. “Sorry, that was … congratulations.” I grabbed my purse and ran out of the café we were sat at. I didn’t realize Jacob was behind me until he placed his hand on my car door as I tried to open it.

“This isn’t fair Evelyn,” he muttered. “You didn’t want me, you wanted to be friends.”

“Because I was a coward not because I didn’t have feelings,” I said. “I always thought-“

“Thought what? I’d sit around and wait for you to love me the way I always loved you?” Jacob snapped. “I poured my heart to you over and over and over and you turned me away. You didn’t even want to give me a chance.”

“I wasn’t ready!” I yelled. “I thought that we’d always come back to each other. Every bad breakup and argument and rejection, we always came back to each other. The story was supposed to end with us.” Jacob ran his hands down his face.

“That’s not fair, Ev. You made it clear, you did not want me. I moved on, I found love, I’m happy, you’re supposed to be happy for me!”

“I can be happy for you and be sad for me.” Another long pause.

“I would have waited you know,” he said. “If you had just asked.” I shook my head.

“That wouldn’t have been fair to you.”

“Why now? Why wait so long to say something?”

“I never meant to say anything. By the time I realized I wanted more, you were dating her. It was too late to say anything.”

“You just wait until I’m about to propose?”

“I truly didn’t think she’d make it this far!” I croaked. “We were always meant to come back to each other. I always came back, and you waited each time. So, I thought I would just wait for you.”

Jacob grabbed my face and stared into my eyes. Slowly, he moved into a hug and held me tightly. “I’m sorry Ev,” he said and he stepped back. “I’m happy. I found someone where I don’t have to guess how she feels. I’m not coming back.” I looked down at my feet. I wish he had let me drive off.

“I guess I shouldn’t expect a wedding invite,” I laughed emptily. He shook his head.

“No, you shouldn’t” he turned and walked to his car and left. I stood there and cried. By the time I got home, I was blocked on everything. I pulled out an old notebook and found a poem that Jacob had written for me years ago. I ripped it up and threw it away. I cradled a bottle of wine the rest of the night.

I found out through mutual friends that Jacob never got to propose. His girlfriend ended things right before. But he didn’t call or text.

One year exactly, I got a call from an unknown number and hesitantly I answered. The voice on the other end I would’ve recognized anywhere, “I’m hoping you waited for me?”

“Yes.”