Vegas Vacation Horror Story

I was living in San Antonio Texas for a while and was waiting for a contract job that was going to start in about a week. My friend Tim decided we should go to Vegas for the weekend and gamble. I had $800 to burn so I said let’s go.

We were going in his Ford Mustang and driving straight through. This will be a bad decision for several reasons we did not know at the time. We left and headed toward El Paso first. This already was a long trip. If you have not done this, it is a long road and there is nothing. When they say last stop for gas, the sign is not lying.

The Storm

As we are approaching El Paso, we see what seems to be a dark ominous cloud ahead. I knew what it was and knew my buddy had no clue. He had just recently had his hot rod Mustang painted. I then had to explain to him that it was a dust/ dirt storm. I knew this because of a family vacation where a similar storm had occurred.

He thought I was lying but it was too late and we were in the sandpaper storm. The sand was coming in through the doors and he had to stop. You could not see anything. Once it passed we kept on to El Paso. When we stopped for gas he realized the damage to the paint. It was kind of pretty the glistening effect it had in the black paint but he was not amused.

10 Hours Into Trip

I take the wheel. He was pouty over his paint job and I was going to take us into and through Colorado. He had the map and made a suggestion to take this route that looked like a straight through to Flagstaff, AZ. Well maps lie. It was supposed to cut the corner off of Colorado.

6 Hour Later

It is dark and I cannot make anything out in the darkness. The abyss that was nowhere. We had been out drinking and partying only 24 hours earlier and we were both not at 100%. He had a nap so he took back over.

Never seen a Moose

Well as we are driving the snake of a road that the map had shown as straight, he wakes me abruptly out of my sleep screaming “What is that!” I look up thinking we are about to witness a Big Foot. It was just a sign with a moose picture on it. You know, like one of those warning signs.

We live through another eternity of driving and hallucinating to finally reach a gas station at like 3 a.m.. We were hungry and tired. We go inside and ask how to get out of this hell and get food. The people were very kind. I am also sure the landscape was beautiful but who could see it in the middle of nowhere and at night?

3:25 a.m. Maybe

We follow the directions and get to the road into Vegas and find a truck stop. We eat and decide both of us need to sleep. This is November and the Mustang was not well insulated. I buried myself in what I had packed for the trip and slept for 2 hours in the passenger seat.

The Trip Into Vegas

This was the only peaceful part of the journey. It was a straight shot into our destination. We arrive at Fremont Street and look for parking. It took a bit but we found a cheap hotel and were ready to get out of that damn Mustang.

The Taco Place

We got settled into our really really cheap hotel and could see a taco joint across the street. By now it is lunchtime. We go in and it smells great. We both eat these hotter than hell tacos and go back to rest. We were going to sleep and then gamble around 10 p.m.

Food Poisoning

He wakes me up with the sound of vomiting in the bathroom. I am not sure what’s going on until I wake up the next time and am in a pool of my own sweat. He is asleep but now I need to throw up out of my ass. He wakes up in an odor filled room that only would make anyone throw up.

6 Hours Later

We are both over the evacuation process but were afraid to eat. So we decided drinking and gambling would be a good replacement.

At The Casino

He goes on his way and I find a roulette table. I sit at that $2 table for at least eight hours. I end up winning $1200 and getting really drunk. He apparently went back to the room well before that. This is Friday night/ Saturday morning.

The Afternoon After

Saturday afternoon I get up feeling like hammered shit. I needed food and tried to order in. The hotel we were staying in was so high class that the pizza place would not even deliver there. So I shower and go looking for food. My friend Tim is nowhere to be found.

I get on the elevator and there is a toothless woman there. I get in and head for the lobby. On the way, she asked if she could do anything for me. She had a lisp of some sort. Not looking like a bellwoman, I could only imagine what she meant. I just said “no”, got off the elevator, and walked quickly away because I was too weak to run.

After making it to the right side of the tracks, I found a buffet that looked non-poisonous. I ate and felt a lot better.

The Phone Call

My cell phone rang and I answered. It was the people that were going to hire me for the contract job and said they were putting that project off for a couple of months. I did not think much of it because I had $2000 to gamble. I needed to make up for the horrible beginning to this vacation I had.

The Plan for Sunday Night

I finally found Tim because he answered his phone. We decided to go to this club in the Rio casino. It was one of those $15 to get in and $7 a drink places. I am cheap but the ladies were looking good. We had to wait in a long line.

While we were waiting I put 75 cents in a slot machine and won $325. That was awesome! Drinks are on me! Well, we drink more than the $325 by about $300 and decide to leave.

Sunday Morning Daylight

We exit the casino and find the Mustang we had left 12 hours before and it has a flat. Tim is not happy. This has not been a good trip for his hot rod. It is really hot. I am really drunk and start to take the flat off. It was not easy but I managed to replace the wheel. In the process though I scraped the living shit out of my knuckles on the pavement.

I wrap my hand in a shirt and Tim starts to drive us to the Whorehouse Hotel we rented.

The Strip Club

Well, low and behold there is an all nude strip club in between us and our rental. He convinces me we should go in. Not much arm twisting because I was still lit. We got in and all of the strippers were pampering me and my hand. Saying things like “you poor baby”.

Had I known how well the bloody knuckles worked I would have used this years ago. I mean along with the story of the flat tire and we came all the way from Texas. I eventually had to leave because my wallet was shrinking. Health care is expensive.

Almost Killed a Hooker

We get back and take the elevator up to the room. The toothless bellperson was not there. After this night/ morning I needed a cigarette. I thought in a place as low class as this hotel I would smoke anyway. So I decided to open the window.

The window appeared to be screwed shut. I use a fingernail clipper and remove the screws. I then push ever so slightly to crack the window. It falls completely out as if those two screws were the only thing holding it. I look down and there are a group of hookers standing below.

I did not want to say “heads up” in fear they would look up. Decapitation was not on the list for today. The window hits the ground and everyone is safe. I yell down” Are y’all o.k.” They were unhappy hookers at this point.

Getting Kicked Out

The hookers apparently were what kept this hotel in business. The word got to the manager and we were asked to leave. Oh and pay $150 for the window.

The Decision to Leave

Here it was Sunday morning. I was not brought up this way. In an all nude strip club on a Sunday, drunk, and attempting to smoke in a whore house of a hotel. I told my friend Tim that it was time to get back to San Antonio.