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Using Tinder Will Only Hurt You.

Why it’s the worst place to find dates.

By Kyle SmithPublished 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago 12 min read
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Using Tinder Will Only Hurt You.
Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Tinder is likely to cause you more emotional pain than you ever experienced if you use it for real dating.

When it comes to dating, I don’t understand for the life of me why people choose to use apps like bumble or even Tinder as their go to for romance and love. It’s evidently clear that when you read the description of the app on either Google play or iOS, that it’s labeled a casual dating service. I’m guessing they couldn’t use the word sex for marketing reasons but the idea still applies.

Apps like Snapchat, Instagram and Tinder have made sex easier for women while providing them with an abundance of the 10% of men they’d actually want to date based on their resources and status, leaving 80% of the other men with an empty bag and unfair advantage in the hookup/dating scene in the West.

By Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

However, Tinder has not made long-term relationships any easier for women as frustrating it is for men of the 80% who are left out of the dating pool. Both sexes are having a hard time getting exactly what they want from Tinder based on the way it was brilliantly set up.

Algorithm metrics works against you

What if I told you that every swipe you make and that you get is based on the algorithmic metrics designed by computer programmers and app developers to maximize profit? It’s no secret that women on these apps get 40 to 50% more matches than men. It’s rigged that way so in order for a guy to get the same amount of matches, he’d have to upgrade through Tinder’s firewall in order to achieve the same results.

In order to produce a bottom line, one sex must suffer in receiving matches or any swipes over the other. Women are less likely to upgrade to micro transactions than men therefore the app developers have designed it intentionally, for guys to be bombarded with constant reminders of more swipes, matches and likes if they choose to upgrade their accounts to Gold or other level memberships.Whilist the same rules may apply for women, they are completely different in metrics. A woman using the same app could open it up and receive 50 to 100 different matches in one day. A Guy who does the same thing may only receive two matches if he’s lucky without an upgrade to a paid subscription.

Why It Sucks for the Guys

It’s getting harder for a solid population of men to find anyone decent, even at more traditional places like churches, due to the growing popularity of social media and hook up apps that largely favor women. Therefore, this new trend is currently causing a ripple effect on a large male population, where its almost impossible for most guys to date anyone what so ever. I like to say that in The United States,American Women can date whoever they want, while American Men date whoever they CAN. Tinder and Instagram is the biggest reason for this new trend when they tilt the dating field in the favor of the female consumer. That means, women can be much pickier than 20 years ago about the guys they choose, while ignoring a huge pool of men which leave them with no real options, making it totally unfair for the fellas.

So if you’re a guy, if you look super fit, in shape, have a pet, at least 6 feet tall and have money, you will likely get a match. But if you don’t have six pack abs and a rock hard sexy body, you’ll get no matches. Or if you work at McDonald’s or low wage job, you don’t look in shape or look unkept, then she isn’t going to swipe left. Sorry guys, go back to your gaming chair and Pacify yourself with some Call Of Duty.

Because Tinder is all about a persons looks, NOT their personality. You simply won’t find it there.

Why It Sucks more for the Ladies

For the ladies, Tinder may just be a very useful place for hook ups but not for long-term commitments or relationships. The fact of the matter is, there are more profiles with ladies declaring that “I’m not looking for hook ups “than any type of profile seen publicly. The huge disadvantage can be felt on both sides. While women have more options (more guys on the app than women) It often clouds her judgment believing that she’s worth gold in the grand prize. 50 men must compete against her in order to win. The truth is even if she has more options and sleeping partners, she’ll run through a platter of men who aren’t looking for commitment.

The good news is that you’ll have a whole lot of guys to choose from but the bad news, most of them just want sex from you.

Gives women a false sense of choices

For most woman who use Tinder,because there’s a huge ratio of men using the app, it gives many of them a sense of more choices. In addition, Tinder is an artificial ego booster for women,especially those whom have low self esteem.This is why as a guy, you’d notice how your date doesn’t seem to always be all that into you. She doesn’t have to be because the algorithm gives them a platter of options. In fact, woman using Tinder have so many options to choose from while talking to multiple candidates, that they begin developing a narcissist streak. Because Tinder creates this false sense that anyone she messages and goes on a date with is replaceable and therefore subject to be replaced by somebody more interesting and much better than you.

People With Emotional Baggage

By Naomi August on Unsplash

Majority of the people using Tinder are on there because of a fallout from a previous relationship. They’re basically looking for a distraction from the heart break they experienced from a previous failed relationship with their ex partner, or spouse.

Expect to get used and heartbroken whenever she or he decides to ghost you after your first encounter. Expect heartbreak yourself when you discover that they were only using you as leverage and that they weren’t really sure if they liked you or not.

People looking for a rebound

By freestocks on Unsplash

There’s lots of men and women on Tinder who are looking for rebounds and unbeknownst to their new partner, they are being played and use like a violin in an orchestra. Unfortunately it can be easy for any of us to get caught up with somebody who secretly is only with us for the sake of a quick rebound or maybe a casual sex encounter.This is where you might feel as though someone is playing games with you and your emotions.

Hookups and ghosting👻

By Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

One of the main reasons Tinder exists is for hook ups. It’s a casual dating app for those who just want to have some sex.

So please don’t be surprised whenever a chick or dude from Tinder meets up with you ,has sex with you and then the next day doesn’t bother texting you at all. Ghosting is very common encounter on Tinder. The more people you choose to talk to, the more you’ll be ignored or ghosted. Even if you casually meet up with someone and hang out with them for a day, that does not hold a guarantee that they will continue communicating with you digitally.

Use Tinder for what it’s really intended for, casual sex encounters. Not long-term commitments or relationships. You won’t always find it there.

You’re More likely to date someone whose unfaithful and Narcissistic.

By Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

Because of the nature of hook up apps like Tinder, you’re prone to get matched with someone who’s a pathological liar and chronic cheater. On both ends, men and women are hunting for the next victim for sexual game and to manipulate and play with another person’s emotions for the sake of sexual satisfaction or control. Often times, meaning women will unfortunately get entangled in a toxic relationship with the guy they meet over dating apps. Check out this article here to see what a toxic relationship with a guy might look like.

You’re always run the risk of linking up with somebody who’s already married or in a current relationship. Although you may not know in the beginning, with today’s modern marvels of social media, anybody can step outside of the relationship that’s monogamous if bored or tempted to based on different situations going on in their lives at that moment. It’s always good to guard your heart and your well-being when using apps like Tinder .

The app makes sure one sex can’t win

With an app like Tinder, everything is tilted in a woman’s favor. Women get 40 to 50% more matches than men and if men want the same amount of matches as a woman, they would have to pay a premium upgraded version of tinder just to obtain it. This makes things unfair for men and very Misandrists

It has been obviously easier for most women in 2021 to find a guy who exhibits resources, charm, physical attractiveness and sex appeal over average looking men who aren’t particularly in shape, work at fast food or low wage jobs and doesn’t even own a car. You can blame Tinder for giving one sex an unfair advantage of options over the other, making females pickier in who’d they choose to date.This has caused the rest of men in society to opt out of the dating scene due to it’s unfair and imbalance 80/20 rule: %80 of women will choose only %20 of men. The biggest problem this has unfortunately created is a few sexually frustrated men who often grow animosity towards the dating scene and become apart of toxic Echo chamber on Reddit or other online communities.

For other men who were singled out of the dating scene, they’d decided to leave The States and venture out to South East Asia, or other countries (click here to see why) where dating seems to be less complicated and dysfunctional.

Tinder Female To male ratio varies from nation to nation

It doesn’t take much effort for a guy to upgrade to Tinder Gold and then switch his location to Thailand or The Philippines and watch their matches multiply ten fold. Or to turn the table in his favor, they’ll take a trip to South East Asia.After a long flight and hotel check-in later,he checks their inboxes and notifications only to get flooded with matches and request, making it a huge night to day difference.

In some countries like The United States for example, women have an upper hand with matches whereas the same American girl in the Philippines might only get a couple of matches vs 100+ in her native country. So depending on where you are in the world will determine what variables of matches you receive. Let’s not forget, the algorithms have different metric variables based on your primary location in the world. So location yet again plays a Significant part with your chances of getting matched up with as many or Less people as possible.

Abundance vs. Scarcity

Depending on where you live, there’s either an abundance of women and men or scarcity of women and men. In the United States, since world war 2, there 20 guys for 1 female available to date in most cities around the country. If you live in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, there might be more guys using Tinder than women but in New York City, an even number of men and women which might occasionally break the Algorithmic metrics all together. Either way,there might be a solution someday towards a balanced and fair dating pool where Tinder will eventually fade out of our live like MySpace did in the late 00s. Until then thousands of men and women will emotionally suffer from a toxic hookup culture that’s been magnified in recent years by social media apps.

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TLDR Summery and recap

  • Tinder was intended as a casual sex app, not for dating inclusively.
  • The people who use Tinder are looking for a quick hook up, a rebound partner, or a way to forget about their previous break up /most recent long-term relationship that went wrong.
  • Tinder gives men (but mostly Women) a false sense of options due to gender dating scarcity which could severely damage and hurt both women and men who are actually looking for a long term relationship partner.
  • Tinder uses algorithms and other data that makes it harder for men (in the United States) to get quality matches if any at all. While favoring the female consumer unfairly.

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Sure Being Single Again Can SUCK,But it’s not the end of the world.

Let’s be completely honest with ourselves: being dumped and single sucks! That doesn’t necessarily mean it has to suck either. You see, sometimes when we’re single, we actually have more freedom than being tied down in a relationship. And think about it. When was the last time you could go out with your friends without asking the other half for permission? When was the last time you could hop on a plane and travel to another State or country without consulting with your potential life partner?

Or perhaps, you were thinking of starting an online business but your partner thought that it was a stupid idea and you listen to them? When you don’t have the responsibilities I’m taking care of someone else or I love her, you have more room to enjoy and build a life you see fit.

By Sydney Sims on Unsplash

Don’t you believe it’s time to stop using the dating apps and start focusing more on yourself and your own goals? Do you wish there was someone who could hold you accountable to building the kind of life you actually want to live? Here’s a useful service with professionals who can help take your life to a whole other level. Click Here.

And remember, you can’t really live your wildest dreams if someone else is holding you back. And the people on Tinder can definitely hold you back.

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Dating
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About the Creator

Kyle Smith

I’m an entrepreneur,up and coming manga artist, and an Apple tech guy.

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