Tough love

Most of my life I thought that life just wanted to knock me down every day. It always felt like something new and worse was happening, it felt like I couldn’t stand back up for ten minutes before there was a new battle for me to fight. I fought back each time a little harder, sometimes I wanted to let life knock me down, and keep me down because I didn’t think I was strong enough to fight back. Little did I know, I was strong enough to fight ten times harder than I was, I was able to fight harder and beat every battle before it even hit.

I didn’t think I would ever be happy again. Life showed me I was wrong. Life showed me I deserved more in life than what I was getting. I deserved happiness, just finding it was going to be the hardest battle of all time, was I ready for it? No, I knew I wasn’t, but I was going to fight harder than ever to be happy because I needed it, and I wanted it! I knew it would be worth it!

You can do the same, just fight a little harder, focus a little more on you, and you will find your happiness, but it starts with you. It starts with you getting out of bed and moving. Just get dressed, and you will see a difference, even if that is all you do today.

I thought I deserved to die, and be alone, but life proved me wrong. I have a son, that will be by my side forever. A man crossed my path that I never thought I would love the way I do. I didn’t think I would ever be loved the way that I am because I didn’t deserve to be loved, but I was proven wrong again, I am loved by my amazing son, and the love of my life, they both keep me sane, when I am ready to go insane. They drive me insane when I am feeling sane. They are my entire world, and always will be. They will be the two people I do everything I can for, for the rest of my life, because they both deserve the world.

You never truly know what you have, but I know I am the luckiest girl in the world to be blessed with two people that love me more than anything in the world.

I would stand in front of a bullet if it meant I could save them, I would die for them as long as they got to live. They are my world, and everything and I would be lost without them.

I want to make sure my son has a better childhood than I ever did, I want to make sure he has all the toys he wants, he has all the things he wants, I want to give him everything in the world. I want him to have all the things I never had.

I want him to have a dad that doesn’t drink, a mom that isn’t working herself to death. Parents that actually get along, even though we aren’t together. I want him to know he is loved, and that he can always talk to us whenever he needs something. I want him to know that even though the person I am with isn’t his dad that doesn’t mean he can’t talk to him too, because he can, and he should. I want them to get a long because they both mean everything to me. I want my son to make friends easily and I don’t want to have to move from town to town just for jobs, I want to stay in one place because moving is so hard.