“Too Ugly” For A Relationship

We're about to get real deep today, so this is your invitation to mentally prepare. Are you single, and you feel like you'll never be in a relationship? Why do you feel that way? If you're reading this, it might be that you believe your appearance is the reason for your single status. A lot of us have felt the same at some point, but this is not fact, it's perception, both your perception of yourself and how others perceive you. So let's talk about why you are not too ugly for a relationship and how to change this perception. Here are four things you can do to help you not feel too ugly to be in a relationship.

Number one, question, where did these feelings come from? Negative feelings about physical appearance can come from a multitude of places. It can be something you are genuinely insecure about, something your ex told you they prefer or don't prefer, or maybe someone made fun of you for that thing. Identifying if this is something you feel or something you were told can help to determine your true feelings. If you were always told that brown eyes were ugly, it would make sense that you don't like your own brown eyes. But what if someday someone takes a picture of you in amazing light that makes your eyes sparkle? You might see the true beauty. Think about any insecurities you may have, then ask yourself, why do I feel this way? This can be the first step to turning your outlook around.

Number two, what do I do with these feelings? Identifying the issue is the first step. Once you've figured out where your negative feelings come from, you can figure out what to do with them. You can write everything down in detail to work through these feelings with a trusted mental health professional. As you go through your thoughts, take note of which things are facts and which are opinions. An example would be, I have red hair, versus, the colour of my hair is gross. Once you've found the things that are opinions, decide if you agree with them. You can also talk to a loved one who you can be completely open and honest with. Dissecting these thoughts and feelings will help you identify what you believe about yourself. Coming up with small actions can help you be in control of how you see yourself and help change how others see you.

Number three, why you should care. When you feel icky about yourself, you portray that to others. Because of the negative vibes, people may not wanna spend too much time with you. When you're confident and have a positive self-image, that radiates from you, too, and that increases the odds of them being attracted to you. And not all physical attractiveness is based on what you see. In 2015, a group of researchers found that physical attraction isn't just what you see, but also what you pick up with your other senses, things like the sound of your voice, your smell, and the way the person feels when you touch them, and you being confident. These are just as important in determining if someone is physically attracted to you. Bonus, relationships are like dominoes. If one gets knocked over, the rest usually go with it. When your self-image and confidence go down, so does your mental health, quality of relationships, issues with work or school, et cetera. When you build that confidence back up by changing your perception, it makes to improve those other areas of your life.

Number four, long story short, you are beautiful inside and out. If you weren't, you wouldn't care how others see you, and you wouldn't be watching this. You're not too ugly for a relationship. Make some time to sit with yourself, a loved one, or a trusted mental health professional to explore these thoughts and feelings and where they come from, create an action plan, and work towards a more confident you. It's so important that we're comfortable and confident in ourselves to live a healthy, positive life, not for the sole purpose of finding a relationship. Once you love yourself, the relationship will fall into place.

Thanks for reading, friends. Have a beautiful day, and see you next time.