The Zillennial Perspective That Literally Nobody Asked For

Hey there, my name is Sara and I was born in 1996, making me a Zillennial (Zennial for short). What is a Zillennial/Zennial you may ask?

A Zillennial/Zennial is someone within the micro-generation of people born between 1993 - 1998. Zillennials/Zennials share habits and characteristics with both Millennials and Gen Z, and are a true blend of both generations.

For instance, I've grown up with TSA at the airport, but still remember a time when you could walk straight in off of the street and up to the gate door without being stopped. I use my smartphone all the time and would probably scream if someone tried to fold it in half, but I still fake answer the phone with my hand like an ASL "y" instead of a flat palm. I now have memorized all of my friends' social media handles, but used to memorize their home phone numbers so I could call them up on our landline (WITH the long curly cord).

Basically, us Zillennials are anxious, sarcastic, coffee-drinking, social-media and music loving, optimistic pessimists who all need a nap and enjoy putting "strong multitasker" on our resumes.

So, as a Zennial, I’ve been LOVING watching/reading the Gen Z v Millennial online roast. It’s become one of my new favorite quarantine hobbies, and the part of me that lives for self-deprecating humor has been THRIVING.

So let’s get to it! For your viewing pleasure, I present to you the Zillennial Perspective in 7 parts that literally nobody asked for:

1. Screw a middle or side part, when are we bringing back these zig zagged bad bois??

Picture this: it’s 2009, you’re listening to “I Gotta Feeling” by The Black Eyed Peas, and your zig zag part has just come out perfect. You change the song to “Tik Tok” by Kesha (then Ke$ha) and spray on your ~signature~ Bath and Body Works body spray. You feel unstoppable. Life is good.

2. Live your best life in baggy jeans Gen Z, but please learn from me and don’t wear them around ANY puddles. (Unless you feel like carrying around mini lakes in your jeans for the rest of the day, in which case, do you boo).

Personally, while I love wider legged and baggy jeans, they’re total sponges. So if it’s raining, I’ll only be reaching for my skinny jeans and leggings that day.

If you’re on the shorter side, like me, then you’ve probably also felt the pain of buying a cute new pair of flare or baggy jeans, only to have the bottoms completely ruined within a month from the constant tripping and accidental stomping.

They’re cute, but my love for baggy and flared jeans is definitely conditional.

3. Yes, Millennials, you’re now considered old. It’s okay. Wear your age like a badge of honor! You’ve made it x years through the shitshow that is life. Congrats!

I’ve gone from my young to mid twenties in this pandemic, and honestly, I’m just happy to have made it this far in life.

Yeah, I go to bed about 4 hours earlier, am addicted to HGTV shows, get way too excited about new kitchen appliances, and my bones crack extra, but I don’t care. Each year, I grow more comfortable with and understand myself better.

You’re older now because you’ve earned these years. Enjoy them!

4. Ah, Gen Z, you’ve grown up so much! Feels like just yesterday we were trying to stop y’all from eating tide pods and drinking hand sanitizer. I’m so proud.

Gen Z - you’ve helped cause social reform, spread awareness about global injustices, bring much needed attention to the climate crisis, mess with corrupt politicians by reserving seats to their events under fake names, and organize movements that change our world for the better.

I’m so glad y’all stopped trying to ingest cleaning supplies. The world’s better with you here.

5. Trying to be cool even when using emojis seems ✨unnecessary✨. Who really cares? I’m just trying to express myself; being cool is not on my agenda😂

The 😂 emoji is honestly one of my all time favorites. I will happily be a loser for this emoji.

It’s got me hooked, and I use it daily. Sorry not sorry.

6. I’m REALLY hoping Gen Z brings back dance offs. TikTok dance battles at the club?? YES PLEASE.

If I’m at a club or bar and I see a TikTok dance battle break out, best believe I will be SPRINTING over there to watch and cheer everyone on.

We’ve got the choreographed moves, so I see no good reason why this shouldn’t be a thing.

Gen Z, you’re needed out on the dance floor.

7. And if anybody needs me, I’ll be over here with the rest of the Zillennials/Zennials, patiently waiting for our turn to get roasted.

Got me feeling like a middle child with FOMO.