The Protector

When I was a young preteen girl I got a job babysitting. My cousin was a regular babysitter for this couple who had one child. The child was a little girl they called Dolly. I was excited to earn some money as I had only ever watched my younger siblings and was not paid for that.

This night was one I will never forget, as I had a very scary experience while sitting. When I was expecting the parents to return home, a man appeared at the door and said he lived there, and after some more conversation, he convinced me and I let him in. He knew the parents names, and the little girls name and he told me a few other things that someone close to the family, and only someone who had been in the apartment would know.

As soon as he got through the door, he said, “you can leave now.” I said no, I couldn’t. He said, “Get out of here now!” I again said no. And the standoff was on. It turns out that holding my own with family drunks helped me out here in this case!

He may have lived there but he wasn’t the parent or brother or close relative, he said he was a friend. This little girl was a darling little girl, so cute, so bright, so fun and the parents left no instruction to leave when this man returned home. He wasn’t ready to pay me and I wouldn’t leave. I had plenty of experience with childcare as I had three younger brothers and a younger sister at this time.

I said are you going to pay me? He said, “No, I am not paying you!” I didn’t leave, I couldn’t leave! I thought what am I doing? I didn’t really care about the money, I just didn’t want to leave that little girl with this old drunk guy! But what am I doing? He was a big man, a scary man. The little girl was asleep.

It was late, or maybe early depending on what you think midnight is. There were no cell phones and these people didn’t have a landline. My cousin had hooked me up with this job, as it was a regular job for her but she already promised someone else she would watch their kids. And she told me I would get a ride home.

He was not offering a ride. I knew he couldn’t leave the little girl and she was sleeping. I didn’t feel safe in the neighborhood, and still I offered to take the little girl with me. He refused with big mean ugly gestures and even though I was really scared, I stood my ground. How could I leave this little girl with this man that I did not know? He said he lived there, should that be enough?

At one point I was getting ready to start hollering. What could the neighbors do? Call the police? Pound on the wall? I threatened that when he threatened to put me out. He must have believed me and he didn’t try that.

I think he was half drunk, but I didn’t really know him well enough to know if he was half or fully drunk. I grew up with drinking and I knew when my uncles were drunk. I knew when my great uncles were drunk. I couldn’t tell with this man.

He said, “I want to go to sleep and I can’t sleep with you sitting out here.” I assured him that I would be okay just sitting there waiting for the parents. My biggest concern was that I just couldn’t trust that he was going to not bother that little girl. Fiddle with her as someone said to me once. I had been fiddled with before by this time. I felt like it was my job to protect that little girl until her parents came home.

Again and again he became threatening and again I threatened to scream my head off. I went home that night with a ride from the little girls mom. She told me in the car, “You did the right thing and I am so sorry for being so late. I really did not know he came home when he left the party. I am paying you extra for all the trouble he caused you.” I didn’t tell her everything and somehow she knew. She gave me a tip!

When thinking about a time I let my true self shine through it was this time, as even being scared, I knew I had to hold my ground. It really pays to hold your ground sometimes and there have been many, many more times since this time that I stood in the best interest of that little girl that didn't have someone holding the ground for her when she was molested all those many years ago. That little "Dolly" may not have escaped abuse, but that night she did!