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The one that got away

But never forgotten

By Natasha CollazoPublished 2 years ago Updated 3 months ago 3 min read

Dear Mom,

This letter could have gone either way.

But I decided to write, before all of this.

Before all of this, your confidence in overcoming any obstacle was driven by your endless faith, and not fear.

As I reminisce on your character, you were quite a soul. One that I see when I look in the mirror. You played the tambourine for crying out loud. You loved music, and blaring it very loudly, especially while driving.

You were a woman of art, crafty and loved theatrics. You even made all of the costumes for every production. You would have a vision and make it come to life. And it would. I’ll never forget that.

You were a writer. Back then we didn’t have blogs or social media but you did all of those things in your own way. If anyone received a greeting card from you it was always a long letter no matter who you wrote it to, in your messy cursive. A greeting card couldn’t be just any ole card, it had to be specially picked and usually humorous to match the soul of whoever received it.

God, I hated your handwriting, just to grow up and find out I write just like that.

You had your own kind of style. You were one of those weird hippie people who had their own niche to things including interior design which was passion on the walls. Earthy, flea market decor to bring in every mid-western vibe even in the bathroom. Boy, did you love thrifting. And though your home living style is far from what I’d ever imagine that I’d do, I realize we share all of these very same passions.

Everything about you compared to other women I’d watch was authentic. You’d stand out for sure, and I remember through the lense of my child-like eyes, I always admired that my mom was the weird one, in leather.

So what happened?

The more we age together, the more I see the little girl in you. Your trauma is your comfort. Your escape is your cry. I am crying with you.

You are strong and out of everything you are wholesome. You are sick, but never unloving. You are frail but never fainting. Most people see the sickness, but I see the little girl.

The one, that got away. The one that ran from her attacker at seven years old. The one that fought. The one that failed. But ultimately, the one that got back up. You held on before you didn’t give a damn.

You don’t trust in anything, I’m unsure if you even trust yourself.

You took this thing called life, that was a gift given to you and you threw every good thing away because of fear. But even so, your love, is unconditional. And even if it wasn’t, mine would still be, because you are molded out of fear, but worthy of every shot at life.

Your attachment to God is unwavering. Even if you don’t know how to properly trust him either, you still, and forever, will try.

I miss you. The one that got away. The one that held on to peace and had a little faith in humanity, and could at one point, see the good in others.

The one who breathed oxygen through her lungs and embraced the trees in its beauty.

The gypsy that liked to dance and knew how to feel things, such as the vibrations of the earth.

The one who took chances so others could flourish. The one that never taught me how to bake, cook or knit, like other moms but taught me what it could be like to be creative in the weird oddities of artistry, and how to survive in the zombie apocalypse, that counts for something.

The one that wouldn’t let anyone around me go hungry, including an animal, stray or not.

The one that taught me what it means to have compassion on every living creature and who shed many tears over the suffering of creatures.

And yet, you suffer, because you are still living in your seven year old body.

I am not mad, nor will I ever be. I just wish you saw a little more sunshine than rain….but if not,

I will still always love you and your epic empanadas.

Family

About the Creator

Natasha Collazo

**Studying Modern Journalism NYU **

Student @ American Writers & Artists Institute

Project: The diary of an emo Latina (2025)

Content and freelance creator

✍🏽

Inquiries: [email protected]

Instagram: @sunnycollazo

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Comments (2)

  • Daphsam3 months ago

    Wonderful heartfelt letter.

  • Oneg In The Arctic3 months ago

    A truly beautiful and heartfelt letter. This really got me.

Natasha CollazoWritten by Natasha Collazo

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