The Mistakes I've Made Along The Way

I'll make one thing absolutely clear: if things had gone any differently on the path, there is every chance one or many of my most prized possessions wouldn't be here.

Not things: but you.

You--whichever one is reading this right now--

YOU--who has made it worthwhile.

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I won't go into the real grim details (isn't this grim enough to begin with?), but I will plot my journey, stone by stone, as best as vague organization can attest to the real thing.

Here are a bevy of the "mistakes" I have made along the way, and how they have dramatically shifted the course of my life:

1) Destroying the Game Boy

My father got me the Special Edition Pikachu Game Boy Color when I was a child. I was amazed and wanted to see what it looked like inside. But because the screws were those triangular types, I pried it open with a screwdriver or something, and effectively destroyed it.

Days after he gifted it to me.

I knew the repercussions, but let my interest damn all. As if it would magically fix itself after?

I was a stupid, foolish child. And I still am.

2) Putting My Fate in the Hands of a Bully

In middle school gym, I took a basketball that had come my way, and a jerk pushed me down and took it back. I made insults about him to kids at my table, one of whom was apparently friends with him. He brought the kid over and he made trouble with me.

Long story short, I didn't go to my town's main high school in part due to that. I went to the tech school, instead, for electronics, and like with college after, know I made the wrong decision.

3) Going to a Technical College

I had no specific college in mind to attend. I just wanted to be around kids my age. I thought, naturally, I would be there to experience all the fun things I had associated with college.

Nope. Never happened. Not at that school.

And I was in debt for seven years later as a result.

4) Going to the Same Bar for Five Years

I go to places for the people. I don't care about the style of the place, or on a certain level the must that is played there. I've always gone for the people.

And, when all is said and done, they turned out to not really care about me, or never showed otherwise.

Plus, I wasted years, when I should have faced my fears and travelled to clubs with 80s music, like my heart calls me to.

5) Being Stuck, Still, As I Am Now

It seems that my close family have been my only source of true joy for years. We stick together. And I really don't trust anybody else.

Can you blame me? When it seems, around every corner, are friendly people--people I work with, or see regularly, that don't care about me, even if they pretend to?

That's the problem with associating with people at work, whether as a coworker or customer.

They.

Don't.

Care.

About.

YOU.

EPILOGUE.

And, yet, it all amounts to nothing in the end. The world doesn't favor you for speaking your truth to it. There are no bounties that come your way, solutions that comfort you in your pains.

The World seems as caring as all those that have tricked you with their allusions and illusions.

The World may be a grand stage, but the players are but pawns to their own foolish games.

And, evidently, some things will never change.