The Mattress Jump

With a new year comes the set of promises that we all make and call resolutions. We resolve to do things like lose weight, eat right, read more, change jobs, find a loving relationship, or simply give up something. My own set of resolutions was very simple: get a new phone (done); exercise more (already on my way with jogging, yoga and other exercises); take a chance on relationships (Covid-19 has made this a very interesting challenge). But there was one other thing that I decided to do and have had planned in my mind for more than a year: a new bed.

Now, I do have a bed. It is an name-brand bed from ‘that’ company; you know the one with the name you cannot pronounce and those wooden slats that rest underneath the mattress so unbearably. When I moved into my new place a few years ago, I did not have a bed. I slept on the couch, with a sleeping bag, on a bare mattress with cardboard boxes flattened into sheets, and then, when I could afford it, with that ordered bed. And I am still regretting it. Now, many of you might love to shop from a company that makes their customers build their own furniture, but I am not a fan. The first problem was that those slats did not provide as much support as I suspected they would. Often, when I shifted in my sleep, the slats would drop out at certain sections of the bed. I found that if I put those same cardboard sheets under the mattress, I could sidestep some of these effects, but I still do have moments where I check under that bed to see if my previous night’s rest has again shifted things around. Nervousness is never a good way to get a night’s well-deserved sleep.

So, maybe my resolution was not just based on the bed. There are enough stresses and problems out there without worrying about what is happening when one is unconscious. And I have somehow managed to make it this far not only keeping my job, but also finding other contracts and continuing to pay off my bills and save money. So what I need to do is learn how to rest and make that great jump to a method of rest that actually works. I am calling this the Mattress Jump.

Now, what do I mean by a Mattress Jump?

I had better be careful here. It is not as erotic or even as fun as it may sound. What I mean by a Mattress Jump is…I want to take my time before choosing the first mattress or bed that I can afford or like. Usually, I would simply pick what I saw in front of me and base my interest in it on the amount of money I had in my wallet or bank account. And maybe that is one of my own resolutions that I have not considered. Am I going to be more patient and will to wait for something that I really want? I have spent many moments in my life being far too patient with myself and others. Sometimes, this works (the guitar; the writing I have published; my exercise routine). In other moments, this has been a personal tragedy dressed up as a comedy (my relationships with friends and romantic entanglements). I still recall a girl getting very frustrated with me because of my hesitations and indecision about our relationship (one I had no idea existed). And I recall other relationships that only existed in my own head (no one else got hurt).

Maybe I am taking this particular prompt too literally. I do want to relax and enjoy the new year, even with illness, cold and quarantining high on our priority list. Maybe I should not be so focused on one item. But I am completing this entry the day after my bed collapsed under me as I attempted to get an early night in for my first day of teaching. I was tempted to head out into the worst snowstorm of the year and start bartering over the price of a bed but had the proper sense to wait here and finish this piece. And I deserve some peace at this time of year. A sense of rest and content seems far away right now and I will do anything to set my thoughts on that great Jump.

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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