The First Time I Smoked Pot - I Was 13 and My Best Friend's Mom Gave It Us

Please note: This story talks about drug usage and it could trigger those who struggle with addiction. You can call an addiction hotline number to receive information on substance use, treatment facilities, and other drug-related topics. Their number is 1 (800) 662-HELP (4357).

Picture it: the year is 1989, and I was in seventh grade.

I will never forget my first time toking up with my childhood best friend's mom when I was 13. She was the definition of a cool mom at the time. She was a hippy with long curly brown hair, beautiful green eyes, and loved to talk to us about boys, school, and about life in general.

One day after school, she asked us if we wanted to try pot. My best friend, Shannon, had never tried it either. Of course, we said yes, and it wasn't long before she was rolling a joint for us to enjoy.

Mary, Shannon's mom, said she would rather we try it with her, because she trusted her source. She had heard on the news they were lacing marijuana with all kinds of junk. It's even more scary now, with the recent reports of fentanyl lacked cannabis being sold all over the country.

I was first to hit it, and immediately I started coughing. It didn't take me long to feel my body relax. The music playing in the background sounded better. I felt amazing.

Mary Struggled With Mental Illness

Mary told us she couldn't smoke with us again, because she could get into legal trouble. Shannon's mom was mentally ill. She never had custody of her for long. Her grandmother, who was a close friend with mine, raised her most of the time.

I generally liked Mary. She had bipolar disorder, and she had horrific delusions. This was one of her good days, so we wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.

It didn't feel like we were doing anything wrong. It was a calming experience and I love the feeling of the light high. I didn't plan on telling my grandma about it, but she overheard us talking about it several weeks later.

Grandma confronts me about it. I had to come clean. She was furious and as a parent; I understand that now. At the time, I thought she was blowing it out of proportion.

Our Grandmas Did Not Understand It

She marched over to Shannon's house to confront Mary. By the time, grandma arrived to hash it out with her, she was gone. She explained the situation to Shannon's grandma, Ellie. They were both livid that Mary thought it was okay to smoke pot with us.

For us, it was a great experience. We trusted her and had a good first time experience.

Years later, after I graduated from high school, I saw Mary at Shannon's house. She asked me if I wanted to smoke again. She joked I might need to ask my grandma for permission before lighting up the joint.

What my grandma didn't understand, Mary provided a safe environment for us to experiment. There were no strangers around. We didn't get in a situation we couldn't get out of with a teenage boy. It was just marijuana.

Mary Lost Her Battle

Every once in a while, I'll light up my pipe and I think of Mary. Nine years ago, she lost her battle with mental illness. Shannon found her mother with a bottle of pills in her room. She left a note, and it still gives me chills when I think about it.

"Shannon, I love you, baby girl. I hope I taught you to have fun, experience life, and most of all, love your family and friends fiercely. I'll see you on the other side. Til we meet again, Mom."

She taught us to have fun. We would dance to 80's rock music with her. She would do our hair and told us everything she knew about boys. I can still hear her infectious laugh. She was an amazing person, who struggled her whole life with mental illness.

I sure hope she found peace in death. For her daughter, there is no peace. She is only 45 and must live her life without her mother. It's a gaping hole that no one else can fill.

At her funeral, they asked the attendees what their best memory was of Mary. Shannon and I looked at each other and giggled, as we knew we couldn't share it, but we both knew - it was that time she smoked weed with us and told us all about life.

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Originally published on Medium.