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The End

A Second Chance

By Jessiipoo Published 2 years ago 4 min read
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The End
Photo by Sebastian Staines on Unsplash

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I have no doubt that what I'm about to do is the first good decision I have ever made. I have decided to end my own life. Morbid, is it not? Absurd. Outlandish. But alas, I am justified in my thoughts behind doing so. I've thought about it at length, and it truly is the best way to go about it. Doing so would save numerous people an awful lot of trouble and effort to attempt to make me feel better.

As I prepare myself for this dastardly deed, I clean up. I shower, making sure my body is as presentable as possible when they discover my condition. I tidy up the house to make sure everything is spotless so that no one is burdened with having to clean up after me again. Yet, I wonder still, how will I do it? I just cleaned, so a gun is a no go. Pills are a hassle in themselves. I would hate to have someone go out to buy more because I swallowed them all in my own selfishness. Knives are fun! But they sure are messy... Hmm.

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to making a decision. Perhaps I could run a relaxing hot bath. A knife could be acceptable if so. Cleaning will be a sinch, seeing as the mess will be in the tub. Ah yes, that's what I'll do. As I make my way to the kitchen; I ponder what kind of knife I will use. Maybe something small and sharp? Of course, that will be perfect.

I run my bath water and hesitate as I get in. It's almost unbearably hot. Not like that will matter in just moments anyway. I take a deep breath, and as I exhale, I turn off the water to pick up the knife I've chosen. I inhale as the knife breaks the skin on my forearm. Blood immediately starts to run down my arm and into the bath water. Without thought, I quickly put my arm into the water to prevent any mess. I start to get lightheaded. It's working.

It's not working fast enough. I weakly make an incision on my other forearm. I start to panic; it wasn't deep enough. I can't even get this right. I start to fade in and out of consciousness, thinking about my family. I think of my children: my daughter, my son, and the little boy in my belly. Oh no. No, this was a mistake. My eyes water as I apply pressure to my arm in an attempt to stop the mass amount of blood flow.

I hear a car pull up. Oh no, they weren't supposed to be home for another- I stop myself and check the time. They were definitely supposed to be home by now. No, they cannot see me like this. I'm too weak to stop it at this point. I lay back into the water and start to cry as I feel my body fail to go on. The front door opens and I cry harder. I can hear their footsteps. I can hear the happy little voices of my children. I feel the baby kick furiously. By the time I hear their footsteps outside of the bathroom door, my life is nearly gone. I hear them scream as they open the door. A single tear falls as my life fades to nothing.

I'm gone... It's over...

Or is it?...

I start to feel again. How? I can feel a pain in my chest and tight bandages on my arms. I'm no longer in the tub it feels like. I'm on the floor maybe? My eyes fly open as I take a deep breath in. I feel a warm, and tight, embrace. I hear unfamiliar voices and I look around blindly. There are quite a few emergency responders all around me. They load me onto an ambulance and take me to the hospital to further check on me and the baby, who I can feel twitch around very once in a while.

The doctors hook me up to an IV and heart monitor for myself and the baby. Everything is working as it should. The baby is weak but healthy. The nurses show my family into my room and the children look relieved. My mother looks like she has been crying for hours. All of them run up and hug me tight. I start bawling as I hug them tighter.

I think to myself, "I am so glad that wasn't The End."

Humanity
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About the Creator

Jessiipoo

Just a peak into my mind

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