The embarrassing moment I strangely don’t regret

The embarrassing moment I strangely don’t regret

So, it all started when I became homeless with my infant daughter. Her father and I had been together for practically 6 years, and honestly? it was the most toxic shit I had ever dealt with. He would put his hands on me often, but once my daughter was born I decided I could not deal with that anymore. I had finally broken free from his bullshit, only problem was that now I had nowhere to lay my head with my baby girl. Thankfully, my mom decided to take us in for a little while til she spoke to my aunt about letting us stay at her place. My aunt agreed that I could stay until March 2016, it was around June 2015 when we moved in with her. I barely had shit, I was a hot mess moving around with all my stuff in garbage bags. Living with my aunt wasn’t easy because I had no freaking keys and sometimes I would get locked out with my baby in her hallway at the apartment building. On one occasion, I had gotten locked out and my aunt's neighbor who was a young girl had brought out a chair for me to be comfortable while I waited for someone to get home. After I sat down in the chair with tears in my eyes, she came out a few minutes later with a cheeseburger and some French fries and that’s when I noticed she was pregnant. She was a tall girl, with a pretty face and braces. At that moment I was highly grateful and slightly embarrassed that I was in this situation with my baby, nonetheless I was thankful for the young girl's help. Fast forward a few months down the line, around October or November my aunt's neighbor had a brother who revealed to me that he liked me. Honestly, I was not attracted to him one bit especially after he tricked me by asking me to use my phone and then proceeding to call himself just to store my number in his cellphone. Frankly, I was not attracted to anyone at the moment until… I had seen the most fine dude downstairs in the building lobby. BOY OH BOY! When we saw each other we made direct eye contact and kept staring at one another until the elevator doors closed. It was straight up lust, lust that I had not felt for a long time being that I was in a relationship for a few years. Ugh! After that moment I had hoped to run into him again. One day I bumped into the young girl's brother, he had told me his birthday was that day and that he would be celebrating that very night and offered me an invitation. Despite me having no interest whatsoever in this guy, I had nothing better to do and I was baby free so I told him I would think about it. That night I decided that I would go out and enjoy myself and I texted him for the address. He ended up paying my cab to this extravagant club downtown in my city and immediately I knew it was gonna be a night to remember. He met me outside and took me into the elevator and as we began going up to the club which was located in the penthouse, he started showering me with compliments about how I looked that night. I tried to hold my composure as best as I could but inside I was cringing because I was not attracted to this man at allllllll. When the elevator doors opened, everyone was dancing and I could see the city skyscrapers outside of the huge penthouse windows. We walked through the crowd, he offered me alcohol which I absolutely accepted and we made our way to the club balcony section. Conveniently for him, he arranged everything so that it would just be us two spending the rest of the night together. I got drunk enough to make small talk with him and enjoy the view until closing time. Towards the end of the night, he made a phone call informing one of his friends who was at the club down the street that it was time to leave and looked at me and told me we would be riding back in his friends car. Little did I know I was in for a crazy surprise that would spice up the rest of my night. When we arrived downstairs, we walked towards the car and when I got in there was a guy in the passenger seat. BUT! sitting in the driver's seat was fine ass elevator boy himself. Wow, it felt like the air had left my body as we made eye contact once again through the rear view mirror and exchanged names. That car ride was by far the most intense I had ever been on, the elevator boy had been looking at me with those deep dark brown eyes the whole time. First we dropped off the kid in the passenger seat and then made our way towards the block we all lived on. When we got there my neighbor's brother was acting so drunk and obnoxious and somehow the elevator boy and I had decided we would get rid of him. Mind you, we did this all just by looking at each other. Elevator boy and I were speaking to each other with our eyes, and I know it was because we both wanted each other badly. He parked in front of our building, and I stood in my seat meanwhile my neighbors brother kept babbling on and on about wanting to kiss me and I kept declining. Eventually he was so drunk he got out of the car and stumbled his way into the building and disappeared. Elevator boy and I sat there in silence until we both burst out laughing and we took off in the car a couple blocks away from the building. He ended up parking in this random spot and in the most deep seductive voice he said, “you wanna come sit next to me?” And in that instant my knees melted but shyly I responded, “okay”. When I got to the front seat we began talking about how funny it was that we both were on the same page. Suddenly, the elevator boy asked in that very seductive voice, “so what you tryna do?” And I responded, “the same shit you’re trying to do”. Without a word he started speeding and drove straight to a hotel. We checked in and once we were in the room we ripped off our clothes and got straight to it. It was amazing, it was exhilarating, and I felt so alive. After an hour of having great sex, our phones starting blowing up. It was my neighbors brother!!! He was looking for the both of us. But when I glanced at elevator boys phone not only was my neighbors brother calling him but so was his fucking girlfriend that I had no clue about. My stomach turned, I felt terrible, I did not want to be a homewrecker. I told him, “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend” and what he was about to say was going to really sting. He then proceeded to tell me that his girlfriend was in fact my aunt's next door neighbor. Instantly I wanted to vanish into thin air, how could I have done that to that poor girl who was carrying his baby. By the time we got dressed the sun was coming up and I decided to head towards my mothers house where my baby had spent the night. For months, I was hoping my aunt's neighbor would never find out about this because I did not want her to hurt. When March came, I left back to my mothers where I resided until my daughter and I moved out of state where I would finally get my shit together. Right before my big move, I had paid a visit to my aunt with one of my cousins and I had not been thinking about the ongoing situation I had with the elevator boy (yes I kept seeing him). When my cousin and I got into the infamous building, we went into the elevator and when we got to my aunt's floor the elevator doors opened. There she was, my aunt's neighbor and I knew right there that she knew because she did not look happy. She gave me the meanest stare and my face flushed, it felt hotter than sunlight on a summer day. That very moment I felt the worst kind of embarrassment, shame and guilt I had ever felt. I started questioning whether or not this fling was worth it. She walked passed me and went straight into the elevator, when I looked back she grilled me until those doors closed. I cringed, and had to explain to my cousin why that girl looked at me the way she did. As I reflected on my horrible decisions, yes I felt bad, yes I knew karma would bite me in the ass, yes I recognized I was a side hoe, but strangely I had no regrets.