Dear Mama,
It’s bout time that I do some confessing
It’s bout time that I do some undressing
Undressing of layers
Nonphysical hurt be the heaviest of weight
Hope Jah hear my prayers
Sick of piled up self hate
Please Jah hear these prayers
There is no escape, no signs of acceptance
Need death to self hate
Piles of the dead weight
Nope way, no sign, no trace of acceptance
I’ve been hiding for decades that I had been your reflection
Break mirrors on walls, rid me of reflections
Tried hiding all the sick ways you passed on your depression
Been hiding the evils, mean shyt, the misguided directions
Dipping and dodging misguided aggression
Avoiding you avoiding me, steady avoiding our own deceptions
Murky nights turned into wingless early morning attempts of flight
Caged bird sing “someone save me from this fight”
Song bird scream and ring
Mourning to the morning light
Mourning a relationship that use to be so right
Maya said I’d be alright
Dear mama,
I had to fly away, create my own views through through new sites
Alicia reminded me I’d be alright
Caged bird singing about these clipped wings and
Used music as a way to succeed and
Used music as a way to be seen and
Used music to put out good vibes for receiving’ them
Hoping from you, I’d be treated as me again
A piece of energy is what you barely gave
Upset with your children because of the bed you made
Excuses of reasons for the massive anger, for why you misbehaved
You continued to sucked out happiness, you smothered and enslaved
The spirits of others while watching their spark wither away
I tried to see it as you trying, you know, teaching me “tough love” lessons
Manipulate shyt in my mind, just had to make it look like small blessings
By "it" I mean those days when our home had no lights
By "it" I mean the days that you would pick fights
By “it” I mean your attempts at misusing my intelligence
By “it” I mean the lack of value in my adolescence
You took the anger from the world, and tossed them to your children
Little brother and I always questioning if we were the real villains
Commonality in concealed emo, trauma making us feel super tight
Unsure of what cause things to go left, always begging you for things to get right
Uncertainty of having warm water, no hot food, no heat winter nights
Forced to drink your lack love, drowning deep in Miss Perception
Forced misdirection upon your lane of crooks and cracks
Dark raggedy roads; forever off track
Streets of broken dreams, reminders that no one’s got my back
Many times I would hear your voice echo “why would anyone do that”
Years have been lost; scraping to keep good memories intact
I had been boxed up, mentally abused; relationships later reflected that
A mirror none wanted to take a look, created false facts
I worried myself with your lies, even in knowing your words meant to confuse
Could not accept it all for a while, did not want to believe this was the truth
Had to find and keep a lock on my youth
Had to separate from the drama
Had to live life; know it’s alright to be amused
Had to learn genuine love, true loyalty, definite honor
Dear mama,
We’ve do our best
Tis this day yet
You still upset
Relax and reset
Let go of the drama
Until then, dear mama,
Here is the karma
It’s hard work to not be you.
About the Creator
Mousiké
Artist.
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