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The Darker Side of Tupac

Dear Mama

By MousikéPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
1
"Pass On the Fruit That was Given to Me"

Dear Mama,

It’s bout time that I do some confessing

It’s bout time that I do some undressing

Undressing of layers

Nonphysical hurt be the heaviest of weight

Hope Jah hear my prayers

Sick of piled up self hate

Please Jah hear these prayers

There is no escape, no signs of acceptance

Need death to self hate

Piles of the dead weight

Nope way, no sign, no trace of acceptance

I’ve been hiding for decades that I had been your reflection

Break mirrors on walls, rid me of reflections

Tried hiding all the sick ways you passed on your depression

Been hiding the evils, mean shyt, the misguided directions

Dipping and dodging misguided aggression

Avoiding you avoiding me, steady avoiding our own deceptions

Murky nights turned into wingless early morning attempts of flight

Caged bird sing “someone save me from this fight”

Song bird scream and ring

Mourning to the morning light

Mourning a relationship that use to be so right

Maya said I’d be alright

Dear mama,

I had to fly away, create my own views through through new sites

Alicia reminded me I’d be alright

Caged bird singing about these clipped wings and

Used music as a way to succeed and

Used music as a way to be seen and

Used music to put out good vibes for receiving’ them

Hoping from you, I’d be treated as me again

A piece of energy is what you barely gave

Upset with your children because of the bed you made

Excuses of reasons for the massive anger, for why you misbehaved

You continued to sucked out happiness, you smothered and enslaved

The spirits of others while watching their spark wither away

I tried to see it as you trying, you know, teaching me “tough love” lessons

Manipulate shyt in my mind, just had to make it look like small blessings

By "it" I mean those days when our home had no lights

By "it" I mean the days that you would pick fights

By “it” I mean your attempts at misusing my intelligence

By “it” I mean the lack of value in my adolescence

You took the anger from the world, and tossed them to your children

Little brother and I always questioning if we were the real villains

Commonality in concealed emo, trauma making us feel super tight

Unsure of what cause things to go left, always begging you for things to get right

Uncertainty of having warm water, no hot food, no heat winter nights

Forced to drink your lack love, drowning deep in Miss Perception

Forced misdirection upon your lane of crooks and cracks

Dark raggedy roads; forever off track

Streets of broken dreams, reminders that no one’s got my back

Many times I would hear your voice echo “why would anyone do that”

Years have been lost; scraping to keep good memories intact

I had been boxed up, mentally abused; relationships later reflected that

A mirror none wanted to take a look, created false facts

I worried myself with your lies, even in knowing your words meant to confuse

Could not accept it all for a while, did not want to believe this was the truth

Had to find and keep a lock on my youth

Had to separate from the drama

Had to live life; know it’s alright to be amused

Had to learn genuine love, true loyalty, definite honor

Dear mama,

We’ve do our best

Tis this day yet

You still upset

Relax and reset

Let go of the drama

Until then, dear mama,

Here is the karma

It’s hard work to not be you.

Family
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About the Creator

Mousiké

Artist.

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