Stream of Consciousness

The Surprising Reasons We Become What We Hate
For so many years, I kept telling myself, that I didn’t want to become like my biological mother. I had a list of things I didn’t want to do, behaviours I didn’t want to emulate, and values I wouldn’t accept. Despite my determination, I found myself falling into patterns that contradicted my own values. It felt strange, even disheartening, but I eventually realised that this phenomenon is not unique to me. It is a psychological reality of how the mind functions, and understanding it can lead to profound self-awareness.
By A Little Butterfly2 years ago in Confessions
Sunday Morning at Church
My cat told me not to go to Church this morning. I almost obeyed her. I was wondering if I could go to the bar on a Saturday night and then go to Church on a Sunday morning without feeling like a confounded hypocrite. I defied my cat's advice and drove to church thinking about the song "Boondocks" by Little Big Town. "You get a line, I'll get a pole. We'll go fishing in the crawfish hole. Five-card poker on Saturday night. Church on Sunday morning." I'm glad I defied my cat and went to church. It's decorated so Christmas style and it lifts my spirits even if I'm a "black sheep" or even if I'm not an essential member of the church.
By Shanon Angermeyer Norman2 years ago in Confessions
"I don't know" - Is that so hard to say?. Top Story - December 2024.
Conversations. Why do we engage in them? I talk to myself a lot. Sometimes I talk to my cat or my dolls or the walls. I'm alone a lot. Why do I feel the need to vocalize? Why do I have to write this if I just spent a few hours conversing with the walls? Why am I so "gabby"?
By Shanon Angermeyer Norman2 years ago in Confessions
Life: Forget the Past, Focus on the Future
Life: Forget the Past, Focus on the Future Life is a constant journey, much like a river that flows unceasingly. It never stops, never looks back, and always moves forward. However, as human beings, we often find ourselves caught in the web of past memories—whether they are moments of joy or sorrow. These memories, while meaningful, can weigh heavily on our minds and hearts. They shape our emotions, our actions, and even our outlook on life. But to live a fulfilling and meaningful life, it is essential to realise that the true beauty of life lies in letting go of the past and focusing on the future.
By Dipak Pawar2 years ago in Confessions
Dreams with Open Eyes: The Journey to a Beautiful Life
Dreams with Open Eyes: The Journey to a Beautiful Life Dreams are an integral part of human life. They fuel our ambitions, guide our actions, and give us a purpose to strive for. Everyone dreams of achieving greatness, bringing honour to their family, and reaching new heights in life. But dreaming alone is not enough to fulfil these aspirations. It takes hard work, dedication, and the right direction to turn dreams into reality. We often dream while we sleep. These dreams provide temporary comfort but seldom lead to tangible outcomes. In contrast, dreams seen with open eyes have the power to transform lives. These dreams inspire action, encourage perseverance, and drive us toward success. The Foundation of Dreams: Determination and Hard Work Dreams seen with open eyes are not mere fantasies; they are blueprints for the future. Realising them requires relentless effort, a clear vision, and the ability to overcome challenges. Success does not come easily—it demands sacrifice, resilience, and unwavering commitment. History is filled with examples of individuals who turned their open-eyed dreams into reality. Consider the bravery of Rani Lakshmibai, who dreamed of freedom for her kingdom and fought valiantly for it. Dr. B.R. Ambedkar envisioned a society based on equality and justice, dedicating his life to achieving this vision. Similarly, Subhas Chandra Bose dreamt of an independent India and tirelessly worked toward it. These leaders remind us that dreams, when pursued with determination, can lead to remarkable achievements. Open-Eyed Dreams: A Transformational Journey Dreams seen with open eyes are life-changing. They provide direction and meaning to our lives. However, the path to fulfilling them is seldom smooth. It is filled with obstacles, failures, and moments of self-doubt. But those who persevere, who refuse to give up in the face of adversity, are the ones who ultimately succeed. For example, Mahatma Gandhi’s dream of India’s independence was not realised overnight. His journey was fraught with challenges, opposition, and setbacks. Yet, his unshakeable belief in non-violence and his commitment to his vision led him to achieve what once seemed impossible. The Fruits of Hard Work and Dedication The success born of hard work and perseverance is lasting and deeply fulfilling. It provides not only material gains but also a profound sense of accomplishment. The joy of realising a dream is indescribable and serves as a testament to one’s efforts and dedication. Dreams that Beautify Life Open-eyed dreams not only transform our own lives but also impact the lives of those around us. Our success becomes a source of inspiration for others, showing them what is possible with determination and effort. For instance, when a young girl from a small village becomes a doctor through sheer hard work, her story inspires countless others to pursue their dreams, regardless of the odds. Let’s Dream with Open Eyes Starting today, let’s resolve to dream with open eyes. Let’s set meaningful goals, work relentlessly toward them, and embrace every challenge as a stepping stone to success. As we achieve our dreams, let’s also contribute to making the world a better place. When we uplift others along our journey, we give our achievements true value. Open-eyed dreams are the first step toward realising our fullest potential. They guide us, challenge us, and ultimately, reward us with a life of purpose and beauty. So, let’s dream big, act boldly, and transform our lives into something extraordinary! After all, the journey to a beautiful life begins with dreams seen with open eyes.
By Dipak Pawar2 years ago in Confessions
Dear Diary. Content Warning.
Dear Diary, Today feels like the world’s weight has finally broken me. I don’t even know how to start untangling this mess, this avalanche of poor decisions and cruel twists of fate. Maybe if I had just waited, just let the world carry me without the safety net of that phone… But I didn’t, and now I’m drowning.
By llaurren's reads2 years ago in Confessions
Dear Disrespectful Racist. Content Warning.
Dear Narcissistic POS, It all started when you came out of training at a job. I had offered a hand to help set up your desk, so you didn’t have to get onto the floor. I did it for all the older people who were in your training class. I’m not sure how we became friends by only having small talk back and forth when I was helping around the call center when there weren't enough supervisors.
By Hope Martin2 years ago in Confessions
The Struggles Behind Success: A Heartfelt Truth
The Struggles Behind Success: A Heartfelt Truth People are often drawn to the glamour of success. They admire the wealth you’ve accumulated, the recognition you’ve earned, and the prestige you now command. However, very few care to see the struggles, sacrifices, and relentless efforts that paved the way to your success. Success is like a shining beacon that catches everyone's attention. Yet, the journey filled with pain, sacrifices, and countless failures remains invisible to most. The story of hardship, known only to the person who endured it, often remains untold. Every successful person has a unique struggle. For some, it’s the fight against financial challenges, while for others, it’s the lack of support from family or friends. Many face failure repeatedly, but their determination to rise again defines their ultimate triumph. Take the example of J.K. Rowling, the celebrated author of the Harry Potter series. Before achieving fame, she faced rejection from multiple publishers. She was a single mother living in poverty, battling depression, and questioning her worth. Her resilience and determination to share her story with the world eventually turned her struggles into a remarkable success. Struggles often force individuals to make tough decisions. There are moments when one must endure humiliation, accept criticism, and even face ridicule. Sleepless nights become routine, self-doubt lingers, and anxiety weighs heavily. Yet, amidst all this, a firm resolve keeps them moving forward. Many believe success is achieved effortlessly. Comments like “You’re so lucky!” or “It must have been easy for you!” are often thrown around. What they fail to realise is the countless hours of hard work, the failures faced, and the sacrifices made along the way. Consider the story of Colonel Sanders, the founder of KFC. He was rejected over 1,000 times before his fried chicken recipe became a sensation. It wasn’t luck—it was perseverance and grit. The road to success is never straightforward. It’s filled with detours, obstacles, and moments of despair. Imagine an athlete preparing for the Olympics. For years, they train relentlessly, often pushing their physical and mental limits. Injuries, failures, and setbacks challenge them, but their vision of victory fuels their perseverance. When they finally stand on the podium, the world sees the gold medal, but only a few understand the pain and dedication behind it. Success is indeed beautiful, but its foundation lies in the sacrifices and struggles of the individual. It is the painful journey that adds value to the achievement. Without struggle, success would lose its significance. When you achieve success, take pride in your journey. Celebrate not just the destination but also the battles fought along the way. You’ve endured sleepless nights, faced failures, and overcome doubts to reach where you are. Your story of resilience can inspire others to persevere in their own journeys. Always remember, success may appear glamorous to the world, but the unseen battles, sacrifices, and unwavering determination are its true essence. The struggles behind success make it meaningful and lasting. Every person who has tasted success has a story of struggle. Whether it’s Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, their stories are filled with hardship, but they also reflect the power of perseverance. Success is not just about reaching the top; it’s about climbing every step of the ladder with courage and resilience. It’s the journey of turning failures into stepping stones and doubts into confidence. And in this journey, your struggles become the foundation of your triumph. In the end, the struggles behind success are what make the victory so special. It’s not the destination but the journey that truly defines you. Let your story be an inspiration to others, reminding them that behind every shining success lies a tale of courage, determination, and unwavering belief in oneself.
By Dipak Pawar2 years ago in Confessions
When The Devil Comes To Collect Your Debt. Content Warning.
I have written articles about recognizing abusive situations. I have talked in various articles about my past relationships while I was a traumatized, co-dependent, trauma-bonded youngling. I haven't in a while, because sometimes when your abuser lives nearby it sometimes creates a fear that keeps you from talking and sharing your full story. Especially when your abuser has a pretty well-off family who could and WOULD hurt you in various ways if they truly wanted to.
By Hope Martin2 years ago in Confessions
GOING TO NORTH POLE.
TAKE TO WARDS THE NORTH POLE A Journey to the Extreme Ends of Earth For nearly centuries, the North Pole has intrigued humankind because of the untold stories it possesses. Located on the globe’s top, this polar desert is a place with extreme weather conditions, striking scenery, and isolation like no other. The North Pole is not just an expedition to look for a location but rather the opposite, which makes it all the more special: an uncharted voyage, a display of endurance and willpower, and a reverence towards the beautiful nature that surrounds us
By Maxamed Sharif2 years ago in Confessions
The Villain Can Have Me
Considering how popular dark romance has been lately, or well how loudly popular dark romance has been lately, preferring the villain isn't new. I'm no different, I'll always love a "good" villain. I recently had one of my best friends look at me while we were rewatching The Walking Dead and ask me "Did you like Negan from the beginning or further into his character arc?" I grinned at her, taking my eyes off Rick, shuffling up to the "Don't Open, Dead Inside" door. "Oh! I liked him from the beginning!"
By Jacqueline Skye2 years ago in Confessions
God where art thou?
I remember the time I felt seen but it wasn’t by someone extraordinary. Just an ordinary person who lived an ordinary life and found me along the way wanting to be apart of theirs. Then, something hit me. It was like a dark cloud came storming in. Suddenly I begged God to help me. I’ve never begged for anything in my life and what I don’t understand is why if I begged for help would he leave me in the dark for so long. Perhaps, it’s a test I use to think. Then I realized that no one came to rescue me except the people who cared about me, truly cared. I started to think that maybe god are those people. After all he created them, right. The concept of god was so hard for me to wrap my mind around especially since my mind has lived in the dark for so long. So, long it’s exhausted me to the point of constant depression. I wake up everyday depressed. Waiting, wandering for a sign something that will lead me down a path I will feel fulfilled in. I tend to feel nothing these days and it scares me because if I don’t have the feeling of caring then what is the point of me living. I go day by day smiling but inside I feel like I’m dying slowly. I can’t get my thoughts in order. I rather feel the feeling of being stressed like a normal person does then feel empty inside. So, god where art thou? I ask. Perhaps I should pray more but I feel like I’m just talking to myself most of the time. God I see everyone around me living their life and I’m not living mine. I’m simply helping everyone else live theirs. Maybe that’s why I’m so depressed. I’m forcing myself to be something or someone I’m not happy to be. I hate this idea. This idea of not being happy anymore. I hope one day god hears me and I hope that day is now. God it’s going to be seven years since I’ve been in the dark. Fighting my way out of it. I tried praying for you to take it away but for some reason it still lingers around me like a cloud. I blame myself for it. I can see myself shrinking into a tiny black hole and my existence only matters to others not even myself anymore. What do I do god? It’s so hard for me to feel this way. I shouldn’t feel this way. I’m actually feeling things now. Except those feelings are negative I want to feel whole. I want to feel joy. I want to feel peace. I wish this was a positive testament to the extraordinary life I got to live. This is still me stuck in the dark. Wanting out. If only I can see a glimpse of the light somehow then, only then will I begin to feel hopeful. Then hope will arise and I can be joyful again. I can see the sun and feel the warmth against my skin and believe that warm people exist and see them for who they are. I can feel the cold air and only wish to be present in it. Embracing the rain for gods tears wrap for me to know that I’m an extraordinary person. Even if I can’t see it now I hope one day I will. I hope I can see the people around me and instantly feel joy. Feel joy beyond my wildest dreams and love dreams beyond my own comprehension.
By Cerina Galvan2 years ago in Confessions