Family
Encrypted Memory
Dear Mom, I’ve always had this feeling as if I did something extremely bad and that you would hate me for it. Despite the fact that we have a loving mother-daughter relationship, I’ve always felt guilty about something. I never told you anything about this before as I had no idea why I was feeling such. I’ve spent years trying to figure out what is it that I did. I’m mentioning this to you now because I’ve finally figured it out. At long last, I have closure and I need to confess what I did to you, Mom. As you know, I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost a year now. So far, I’ve been having cognitive behavioural therapy with her which is a type of psychotherapy. It’s normally used to treat a range of phobias, addiction, depression and anxiety. Now I know you would be freaking out over the mention of ‘addiction’. Please calm down. I am neither addicted to anything nor have I ever done anything that might cause addiction. Recently, my therapist suggested we move on to regression therapy which is a type of hypnotherapy. Unlike psychotherapy, hypnotherapy involves hypnosis. This is because our subconscious mind can repress trauma if it happened at an age before the mind could figure out how to process it. Therefore, hypnosis is needed to drum up those memories. I also learned that sometimes, we carry traumas from our past lives to our current one. For example, a man that is extremely afraid of water, even like a pail of water, could have died from drowning in any of his past lives. Past life memories can be retrieved through past life regression therapy. So, with this information, to overcome his fear, exposure therapy would be used.
By Dharrsheena Raja Segarran4 years ago in Confessions
Anything At All
Dear Mom, Mother’s Day came early this year. I had nothing planned at all. I’ve been living the life of an entertainer. I live the way my father lived when you were married to him: traveling, sleeping, eating, working late, and calling you hardly at all.
By Lucia Joyce4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Mom, How Are You?
My dear mother, Feelings cannot be expressed in words. Yet I wrote a little letter to you. I miss you so much. I have never been able to say a word to you. You are far away now. I haven't seen you for a long time. I do not know if you can read it? I remember having a road accident when I was thirteen. I was nearly dead then. I needed a lot of money for my treatment. But there was not enough money. Dad didn't work properly.
By Mehedi Hasan Shawon4 years ago in Confessions
What I Never Told You
We as adults can attribute most of who we have become to our parents. One parent, in particular, makes a big impact on us while we grow up. Sometimes they know just how much influence they have had on you and other times they don't, that is unless you spell it out for them. That person tends to be the one who was either absent from your life (for those in single-parent households) or the one that was there for everything (can be for either single-parent or two-parent households). Or in my case where I lived in a couple of households, thank you adoption system...
By Valerie Myers4 years ago in Confessions
Home
Dear Mom, Cat Stevens played through my headphones as I walked the streets of Heredia. I felt tough today, hard, a toothpick hanging from my mouth. All I could think about was him. I suppose I thought about the pain too. I didn’t want to look at the men that watched as I passed by.
By Whitney Hamm4 years ago in Confessions
The Unprotected
The people who were supposed to protect me in life were the ones I feared the most. So when I say I need some time to trust, know that it’s not you, it’s me. I've been let down more times than I can count by the people who “love” me. I’ve been told to smile in public but behind closed doors, I sobbed. I was number one in their hearts, at least to the family but public enemy number one once I got home.
By Tamera Tate4 years ago in Confessions
The Mother I Never Met
To the Mother I never met, I have a secret to share with you. I think about you every Mother’s Day. I think about the fantasy I made as child. I think about the life I might have had. The life I daydreamed about so many times. The imaginary perfect mother, loving, fun, validating. The imaginary house where food was homemade and it smelled like fresh cookies. A place where spills weren’t met with screams and mistakes were forgiven. A place where I was a child and got to be treated as such. A place where I was accepted and loved unconditionally. I lived in that daydream as a child.
By LC Wright4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Mom
Dear Mom, I remember when life used to be more simple, when we used to talk and be around each other. Now, over a thousand miles lays between us, but that’s not the biggest distance between us. I remember growing up when I felt like it was all about family, how you and Dad would try to preach about how important it was to protect one another and stick together. That was until the illusion shattered. Growing up I never noticed the things around me, like every kid I suppose, but with me, it might have been delusions. I always felt like you and Dad loved one another and were happy. I still think back to the night before we left, when you and Dad were insulting one another, I dare not say what was yelled at one another. I also remember vividly you waking me up and making me choose to stay or to leave, I was barely eleven years old, yet I made a massive decision. I don’t regret leaving, or living with Steven, your new boyfriend, he was more of a model father figure than Dad ever would have been. But, I do regret not telling Steven how I felt about him before he took his own life when you were sneaking back to Dad. I regret most of all; letting you make me feel guilt for his death, for you making me take care of you even though I was tweleve and saw my first dead body when we found him. I regret letting you always control situations and the narrative. We haven’t spoken now in over a year, I am twenty-four now, I live in a beautiful home, with my amazing, supportive girlfriend of almost eight years, I am happy now knowing I can make my own decisions without you manipulating me. I do still love you which is what hurts the most, I don’t blame you for how you are as an adult, you are to blame for some of it, but I know you had bad parents. I however, will not repeat the cycle you did, I was in therapy, something you never did, and will continue to work on myself and be better so if I ever have kids, they will know nothing but love and stability. I only wish you were different so you could share my life and journey with me. I forgive you for all the cruel and hurtful things you said about me, my decisions, and path I have chosen, but I will never forgive you for how you talked to my girlfriend. I wish you wanted different and wanted to be a better person, even if not for me, but for yourself, but you are complacent. I had to learn to love myself and learn how to want to be better, it is an everyday struggle but overall I am proud of my progress. I wouldn’t be who I am if it wasn’t for what I went through in life, like you and Dad kicking me out because I wanted to move to a new state with my girlfriend, instead of talking to me and trying to find a compromise, you let Dad kick me out, I will not forget that. I will not forget the bad influence you set for me growing up, it hurts I can’t share the big moments of my life with my family; getting a new house, birthdays, holidays, maybe one day getting married, maybe having kids, all of that. Instead I have to build my own family and luckily I have a new family who loves and cares for me despite my imperfections and despite my mistakes. That is true love, it’s not conditional or about selfish needs, it’s about giving to someone else with no guarantee to get anything in return. I miss you and the rest of the family and I hope you are all doing well, I know I am.
By Dominic Nettles4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Nobody
Dear mom.. Dear mother.. To whom it may concern.. Dear.. nobody.. It seems silly to write this especially since I know it will never be sent and I know that you will never read this. But I'm told it's cathartic to write about your problems.. I don't know who said that or if they ever actually had to do it themselves but I can honestly say it doesn't work. Putting things down on paper that are better left inside my head is never a good idea. But at least I can tear this letter up when I'm done and it'll be like it never existed. I'm still not sure how that is supposed to help me but whatever.
By dclukens 4 years ago in Confessions
