Dating
The Price of Being Seen: My Five Years in the Findom Trap
I don't know how to start this except to just say it plainly: I'm a submissive, I'm gay, and for five years I was deep in the findom scene. The psychological high of giving a "Dom" or "Master" really just straight men control over me and my money was intoxicating. It started small. $20 here, a "tribute" there. A few guys online called themselves my Master and told me good boys pay their dues. I liked how it felt to be told what to do by someone who wanted nothing from me but obedience and cash. I was lonely, closeted at work, and it filled something.
By Mark Lim 2 months ago in Confessions
Why Your Karmic Relationship Isn't Meant to Last (and Why That's the Point)
Nearly everyone who comes to me convinced they've lost their karmic relationship is grieving the wrong thing. They're grieving the ending, but how long they fought to keep open something the ending was never actually the tragedy. The tragedy, if there is one, is usually how long they fought to keep something open somethingin how long they fought to keep something open that had already finished doing what it came to do.
By Wilson Igbasi2 months ago in Confessions
Trauma journal
It is about 11:15pm on Nov 24th 2025 I am laying in bed alone shaking.. not only because its cold but because my other half had a manic drunk episode and lashed out. Since I got home from work I've been lovey hugging him.. he held me and hugged me tight. We played around smack bums and kissed. Unusual for us on a regular basis. But he was drinking rum. RUM! It has been a god-send since beer. He was so mean on beer, but when he mixes his liquor he gets even meaner. Im starting a journal because tonight I feel is the last straw of my sanity. Ive been lovey and cuddly and close, but I gave him space because he wanted to race his game on the ps5. I went downstairs to crochet the blanket I've been trying to make the last year and a half. I kept going upstairs periodically to see him and give him smooches. He came downstairs about 930 asking to hold him and cuddle him. So I asked if he wanted to go to bed. Usually thats the sign he wants to be intimate and cuddle. But we got into bed. Both our boys(cats) jumped on the bed for cuddles too. I tried giving my Man cuddles but he wasnt coherent... was basically sleeping the moment he hit the pillow, but was Able to mumble something that hurt my feeling so I turned over and got upset. He kinda woke up a bit and wanted cuddles so I came over happy he finally wanted to cuddle. Even though i was upset with him, i gave in anyways because i love with my whole heart. He kept getting antsy or irritated.. maybe uncomfortable and muttered something like he was being smothered. When I was just next to him cuddling like we always do, as its what he wanted .. He started aggressively moving us around the bed rocking back and forth. Maybe his way to get comfy... but I made a comment of "dont squish the cat". Smokey was beside me, curled up and purring. The movement not only frightened him but we could have rolled on top of him and hurt him. I just made the comment out of concern to not hurt our animal. This Man, freaked out, going off about how I care more about the animals than him and this family. As I try to say anything he cuts me off like normal and wont let me speak. Like my voice isnt valid. All I was trying to say to him was, I was trying to cuddle you, sorry I didn't want to hurt the cat. But I wanted to cuddle and get comfortable. Explaining to him how I've been with him all day and needing his attention. He goes upstairs to smoke and comes back downstairs, to not only yell at me but throw his heavy pillow at me. Telling me how im a bad person and I put animals before the kids, and that I made his daughter cry the other day (lie). The other morning I was running late... I got the animals fed and his youngest daughter, got out of bed, as I was making her school lunch and my work lunch she asked me to make her breakfast, which I said sorry girl I don't have time im packing lunches quickly and I gotta run out the door I got 7 minutes. She replied "oh OK", walks down the stairs and asks dad, which he proceeded to yell at me for not turning on the kettle for oatmeal. She never told me what she wanted for breakfast and I was trying to rush doing 2 things at once already. When he walked up the stairs i was at the brown cabinet grabbing snacks for hers and my lunches.. but Nov 24th argument was, that i was too busy feeding the cats to make his daughter breakfast.. therefor animals are more important than the kids and I made her cry. I was right next to her when she yelled down the stairs to ask dad. Not once was there a cry... she was fine asking him because I was busy. To this Man everything is a big deal! So i have to risk being late for work ... I dont have the luxury of getting picked up by coworkers or cabbing. I rely on city transit. Buses don't wait for anyone. It was not rude of me to tell her sorry im trying to make your lunch and mine and I'm rushing to finish to go to work. Thats a boundary is it not? Understanding someone is busy and to politely ask someone else. And know they didn't say no to hurt your feelings.. only that they where preoccupied with other things. These kids dont know boundaries, they dont know stability, or disipline, or real love. I give them food to eat, I take time to listen to their drama, I play full on Mama Bear to these kids. I do their laundry, folded and tell them to put away. All I ask is for them to help with chores to take a load off of their dad and I because we work and don't want to come home to a messy house with lazy kids. Tasks I asign usually are, dishes, Cat litter, sweep/mop, clean upstairs bathroom. Keep rooms clean.. But we have a 13 year old who thinks she runs the house. Shes so rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate and very judgy. But this Man doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior. Basically laughs about it and blames others for her behavior. These kids cannot take accountability for their actions, his son is different he has common sense.. the youngest girl is learning and the way I am teaching her, shes becoming a very loving helpful and considerate child..she has her moments of annoyance when we want quiet time or when she's over tired. But she tells me daily she loves me and sure I ask her to do some tasks too... like taking your laundry to your room and putting it away. To cleaning up the dirty laundry on the floor in her room, to doing recycling. I taught her what goes where and to sort properly for the blue bins. Shes starting to help me with dishes now and she likes starting the dishwasher. Im not a bad person. Yet the 13 year old makes me out to be the evil step mother. And her dad just believes her and goes along with it when hes drinking. She only ever comes out of her room when hes drunk and they can have a drunk heart to heart because when he drinks depending on his mood im the villian. He can never understand what I am going through with his behavior, his actions ... they have consequences... and its his gf being emotional and mentally hurt, struggling and drained. That is the consequence. The hurt and pain he is causing my mental health to plummet, can really damage a person. People also need to realize abuse isnt always physical..its emotional and mental. He is so narcissistic that he gets angry at a situation and then blames someone else who wasnt part of the initial anger.. of minor things that may annoy him or just start a fight. Real examples would be, making the youngest cry(lie), caring more about the cats than kids (lie), he twists words around from a situation that happened, but he makes up new stories or new parts of the situation... that never actually happened... He fabricates the truth. He belittles the one person he knows he cannot lose. He persists that he is king, and his gf who should be queen.. is a lousy servant girl, only to serve his children in childcare, and to please him when he sees fit. I am tired, mentally exhausted, physically drained. My muscles hurt, im shaking like im freezing, my head is loopy from the brain fog that this situation has given me. Yet no matter what I feel, im in the wrong... is this, RIGHT? Hes right im wrong! Hes big, im small!.. Thats full on aggressive narcissism, if im not totally mistaken Hes basically betraying my trust in him as a partner, he told me he would always take care of me, he tells me its us against the world. We are in this forever. How could someone who says they love you hurt you the way he has hurt me.... The verbal abuse, it is mentally exhausting. The degrading, the mocking, the name calling, the constant need to be right and make everyone the villian... This relationship is toxic... and it only gets like this when he gets so stressed out he drinks himself fucking stupid. I really should have continued my journal I had before I met him. Only then he would be able to read how horrible of a person he is to me.
By Danni2 months ago in Confessions
Entry #4 or The Holden Caulfield Experience
I've lived in the same city for the past 27 years. At 23, I met it again. And then again at 26. If you are like me, you exhaustively memorize the faces of the people who cross the roads of your street every day. You know who will be at the metro station at any given time. You remember who drinks their morning coffee at the corner kiosk at 10 am every day. Graffiti tag artists are local celebrities for you. You notice the new outdoor ad decorating the side of the road every time it changes. You remember all the holes in the pavement. You ultimately feel stuck in the routine your city lives out every day. And if you are like me, I've got the solution for you.
By Danielle Silva2 months ago in Confessions
The High-Altitude Trap
My wife and I have a pretty noticeable height difference. I'm a whole foot and a half taller than her, which you'd think would just be a normal part of life. But in reality, it shows up in some pretty mundane ways, like when I reach the top shelf for pantry stuff, grab her coat from the closet, or change a lightbulb without yanking out the step stool. All pretty standard taller-spouse chores. Although it wasn't until pretty early on in our marriage that I started to catch on to a little bonus that came with being the taller partner.
By Dadson Wanjohi 2 months ago in Confessions
She Left When You Lost Your Money... Wait, Did She?
An old argument keeps circulating online. It always finds an audience. The outline is familiar: Cao Cao, after every conquest, took the defeated general's wives and concubines. Fallen dynasties saw their consorts move to new rulers' beds within days. In the film Let the Bullets Fly , Carina Lau's character says, "I just want to be the county magistrate's wife. Who the magistrate is, I don't care." The conclusion: women are hardwired for hypergamy, loyalty is a myth. You weaken, she leaves. You go bankrupt, she disappears. A stronger man appears, she turns.
By Jin2 months ago in Confessions
Best Memory or Worst Mistake
I had a best friend at 17. She was that one person in my whole life that I was closer to than my own family members. We'd sit together at lunch and text each other about nothing until one of us fell asleep in the middle of a conversation. And the times when she'd laugh at something absolutely ridiculous I'd just said, I would feel like I won something. I never felt like I needed a girlfriend, really. She was taking up that space in my life, and I felt like something good would come out of it.
By Dadson Wanjohi 3 months ago in Confessions
Lost in Love. Top Story - August 2026.
In the summer of 2013, I was still single, but young enough to hold onto the optimism that if I just put myself out there, I would be able to find someone. After all, I was young, employed, incredibly thin, and had not yet let the world beat me down. I was in the honeymoon phase with cigarettes, blind to how hard it would be to break the habit. Needless to say, I was young, dumb, and still believed that my anxiety would magically disappear with time and experience.
By Gabriel Bradshaw 3 months ago in Confessions
Closers
For Joey: a ghost—as always. I A I am in Sendera, finishing up Dad's estate. I haven't been here in 25 years but I'm out of court before noon and I'm hungry. I drift down Main Street and god damn if I don't find Closers. Or what used to be Closers. Now it's called Downtown Texican Bar and Grill. It looks run down. I consider passing it but I’m not seeing much in the way of alternatives.
By Conrad Ilesia3 months ago in Confessions
She Gave Me a UNO Reverse Card. Then My Brother Got Down on One Knee.
I was still laughing when my sister handed me the card. I was laughing because of everything that had happened over the past three months: my younger brother asking me to help plan his proposal, me saying yes without a second thought, the two of us crouched on the balcony making countless whispered phone calls, arranging every detail—the location, the lighting, the music, the exact arrival time of every family member and friend. I had even slipped the ring box into the hidden pocket of his backpack myself, patting it and saying, “Don’t be nervous. Your sister has great taste.”
By Jin3 months ago in Confessions
