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Stray balls, and missed shots.

For the dogs.

By Jordan LeePublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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There are a hundred and one ways to lose a ball in a housing estate. The most common among them being in a tall tree, on a rooftop, to a ball thief, an angry resident, and in some cases the train tracks. I’ve lost balls to all of the above. I’ve also been a ball thief myself, but only with stray balls. I’ve been able to retrieve mine from some of these places as I got older. However, the trees had no shortage of weak branches, and the train tracks had no shortage of homeless people, and trains. If you were lucky enough you’d come across an old one in a game of football and chance your arm at getting it back, but if you’re like me then your ball won’t have your name written anywhere.

If there was any way for me to show off to the girls in the estate, it was in a game of football. And show off I would. My speed, my feints, my reckless plays all on display. It was really my only option. I had no game, no real confidence. I wasn’t much of a talker, and unfortunately that was important. So I took my efforts to Facebook. There were rumors that Jade had a thing for me, so I checked her profile. Relationship status, single. One year my junior, shocking. Works out, definitely. Likes Chandler Bing, huh? She was short, cute, and bubbly, and just started growing her hair out. Which garnered her a lot of attention. I had to shoot my shot.

I used the poke function on Facebook and prayed for a response. The prospect of losing a poke was almost as devastating as losing a ball. However God was on my side as eventually, she responded. This was the green light I was looking for. I could enter phase two. The direct message. I started with a question about occupation and wound up at “You’re gorgeous”. A rookie move, but it didn’t go unappreciated. Unfortunately the conversation fizzled, and I found myself afraid to start all over. A month later and with a few pokes ignored, I gave up.

So, I was back to playing football and kept the rejection to myself. I had reluctantly allowed my ball to be used, but the game went smoothly. Afterwards we trekked to the Circle K for snacks and drinks before strolling around the estate, passing the ball around and getting dangerously close to losing it. As luck would have it, an attempt at kicking the ball to the moon resulted in it being stuck in a tall tree. A tall tree that stood on Jade’s lawn.

Leaving the ball wasn’t an option, so I decided to climb the tree. At the top and about three feet away from the ball, I caught her neighbor watching me with great suspicion. Realising I can’t reach the ball without a long branch, or even shake it loose, I climbed back down slowly. Upon reaching ground a young guy entered her driveway, shrugging me off as he did so.

We scoured the estate for a long branch and returned to the house. The driveway was empty now. I scrambled up the tree with the large branch and managed to free the ball of the tree’s grasp, where my friends rushed for it. As I made my way down the door opened and out walked Jade with her new friend, who was clearly a better match for her. Awkwardly I greeted, and was ignored. Looking for any kind of support from my friends I realised they had darted off when the door opened, only further incriminating me.

It wasn’t until a week or two later that I realised while walking past her house, that her tree was cut down. At that point, I knew there were no retries. At least I kept my ball.

Embarrassment
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About the Creator

Jordan Lee

Honestly, I paid to be here.

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