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Stop stopping yourself

I'm a big believer that you can be your own worst enemy. And when it comes to being our own worst enemies, we are especially mean to ourselves

By Deladem KumordziePublished about a year ago 6 min read
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Stop stopping yourself
Photo by Nijwam Swargiary on Unsplash

I'm a big believer that you can be your own worst enemy. And when it comes to being our own worst enemies, we are especially mean to ourselves. We say things like "I just can't do it." "I'll never make any money." "Why even bother?" We know better than anyone else that these things aren't true but we still believe them—because we're the ones saying them! So this week I want to encourage you: stop stopping yourself! You owe it to yourself to stop being so mean to yourself and start being kinder instead.

We all have moments in our lives when we feel like we're being held back from achieving something great. But the truth is that it's not always so simple. Sometimes what seems like a limitation is actually a protective mechanism built into our brains; sometimes it's the universe giving us the time to gather resources or make connections before taking the next step towards success.

You owe it to yourself to stop being so mean to yourself

There is nothing wrong with being your own worst enemy. It's just a fact of life. The problem is when you do this to yourself without realizing it. When you stop yourself from achieving something that would make you happy, or tell yourself that you are unworthy of love and success, you are the one who loses out.

When I was younger I used to think I was entitled to be treated poorly by others because I had been so mean to myself first. But then one day it hit me: if I want people in my life who treat me well, then why am I treating myself so poorly? What kind of message am I sending when they see me treating myself like trash?

If someone treated their best friend like crap, no matter how much they loved each other, their relationship wouldn't last long. So why do we treat ourselves worse than our best friends?

Keep a daily gratitude journal and write down 5 things every day.

- Write down 5 things you are grateful for.

- Write down 5 things that went well today.

- Write down 5 things you are looking forward to tomorrow.

- Write down 5 things you love about yourself and why they make you happy.

- Write down 5 things that make you smile, like your favorite song or movie, a pet, a friend or family member who makes you laugh and makes life more enjoyable, etc.

Smile.

- Smiling is contagious. When we smile, people tend to respond in kind and smile back at us. This can help you feel happy and relaxed, not to mention that it makes others feel good too!

- You don’t have to be a professional model or actor—you just have to feel good about yourself. The way you act around other people will make them more comfortable as well; if you’re trying too hard, then your energy will turn off others who are trying just as hard (or less).

- When someone comes up to talk with you, smiling first lets them know that it’s okay for them to talk with you! It also helps build trust between two strangers because if one of them is smiling at the other person then they aren't threatening each other at first sight (which can make relationships stronger). This allows both parties involved in a conversation become more open minded about what each other has said thus enabling them both understand one another's point-of-view better which leads into greater understanding between two different individuals."

Don't care about what other people think

"People will always have an opinion, so it's best not to let that hold you back."

This is a great piece of advice: don't allow other people's opinions stop you from achieving your goals. It's tempting to care about what others think—especially when we're young and impressionable—but this is one of those things where there are no shortcuts. If you want to succeed at anything in life, then there are always going to be naysayers who doubt your abilities or criticize your choices. The only way past them is through them.

Yes, of course there are some valid criticisms that can help us improve in certain areas. But sometimes the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is ignore all the chatter and focus on what we want—rather than what others think we should have or do!

Stop dropping the ball before you even pick it up.

If you can't stop yourself from stopping yourself, then there's no point in starting.

"You're great! You're the best!" Your mom tells you as she drives to soccer practice—again. Her words are meant to be encouraging, but they just make you feel like a failure. Because if I'm so great and so talented, why haven't I made it? Why am I still here?

You think about how much work everyone else has put into this game of life (and soccer), and how far ahead of the competition they are because of it. And although your brain tells you not to compare yourself with them—because that's just not a good way for anyone to live their lives—you can't help but see how far behind everyone else is. It makes sense why they'd make fun of me; after all, isn't every success story followed by an "I told you so"?

Don't be your own worst enemy.

- Learn to forgive yourself.

- Stop being so mean to yourself.

Focus on the positive and stop being so mean to yourself!

You deserve to stop being so mean to yourself.

If you're anything like me, you'll find that your negative inner voice is a lot louder than your positive one. The problem is that our thoughts tend to be a lot more powerful than we realize, and research has shown that negative thoughts can actually start to feel true if we think about them enough. It's hard not too though! If you're struggling with this issue too, here are some simple steps you can take:

- Write down 5 things each day that make you feel grateful for yourself or other people in your life (you can do this in a daily gratitude journal)

- Smile more often as it will help raise serotonin levels which will help regulate moods and stress levels

- Don't care so much about what other people think of you - the only person whose opinion matters is yours!

Conclusion

Regardless of what you're facing in life, there's a way to turn it into something positive. You just need to take some time and focus on the positives, rather than focusing on all the negative things that could happen if you don't stop being mean to yourself!

Humanity
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About the Creator

Deladem Kumordzie

Challenging everything I know, unlearning & relearning⚡️ A rare breed of business and technology. Business Planning || Branding || Front End developer || Graphics || Entrepreneur || Interested in Venture Studios

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