Sitting In My Chair Upside Down

My friend of countless years,

Did sit across amongst our peers,

I pondered why I felt dismay,

A seat apart, afar and away,

This cursed state, I sat and stared,

How no look was found, nor shared,

knew naught why and was unaware,

The vex I felt, caught and ensnared,

The truth behold, untrue and unfair,

I look to you, who has been true,

Light does shine, sparkle and hue,

So fair a face I glanced to see,

A chance, an expression, a mirror to me,

A fate untold my friend of many years of late,

What was a whimper then spoke, now debate,

I wanted you to spy me too,

See what was, what could, what can I do,

The need did grow to bear a truth,

Which crept upon me as moss to the tree,

To look from on high, stoic and see,

What bliss could be. Anon, never and No,

I will not risk, not shine, not let grow,

Not sow, not joy, not toy,

And what could I even speak,

A prospect cold and dark and bleak,

Diminish now a friend and king,

To leave alone, a gutter to swing,

A ship to shore and saddle to steed,

A cloud to the heavens and knight to his creed,

I need not your love, I live untethered and freed,

No longer will I stare, what I hope can never be seen,

Not show, never grow, nor fruit, no been,

I leave this childish daydream, a living nightmare,

Caught in hopes to fall too far, in one stare,

No farther will I ride this hope, answer no siren’s call,

The task too tall, too perilous a fall,

Let me rest, gather my head and my heels,

Let her not see a heart that reels,

Frozen and dead, it beats no more,

I bury my hurt, lost love, undone,

Throw off my clasps attached to no one,

Only a monster, it screams and it growls,

Claws and teeth, up late it now howls,

I will calm this beast, soothe to sleep,

Unprepared It walks on hands and feet,

A newborn, swaddled, unready, unsteady

Tender, young, unworldly, it becomes a kitten,

I meet her gaze, she smiles, unstaged and unwritten

Our eyes lock, time stops, and now I am smitten.