Shining Solar Energy After Discovering the Power of Forgiveness

My life becomes only one thing today: - living by the present moment without looking back - into the past - for one second. I've learned many things by experiencing all kinds of situations, and I've also made several mistakes.

 I was abused in many ways for the first ten years of my existence on this earth. I'm almost fifty-seven years old now. I finally understand what will free my soul forever - from permanent anger and desire for revenge. 

The type of energy I always carried within, had the divine power to lift souls and inspire artists. They call it "Solar", and everyone can be influenced by it.

This energy is what I found in Jesus, and Gandhi, but also Yogananda Paramahansa and others very similar to them. So one day, during deep transcendental meditation - I came to realize clear transparency of my perspective on who I was. Why did I have to go through a lifetime of discouraging and desperate events? 

For a while, I had no clear answers, but one day - suddenly - everything became complete and resplendent in my heart and so in my mind. I was transforming - coming to understand that this world is made of pure ignorance.

Ignorance was like a superb lady - walking all over and around me. She had me tricked many times cutting my heart in the cold atmospheres of no remorse. "Lady ignorance" was very arrogant and secure in herself, to the point to confuse my mind. I was almost becoming like her - as she got me in the obscure net of desperation.

But one day - after praying for many years - I was finally able to recognize her for what she was. I saw the dress she was wearing - sort of speak - and I smiled. I looked up to the sky and greed to my Lord - I was receiving a very precious message directly from feeling deeply inspired by the divine. 

The message that came directly inside the core of my heart - was one of unconditional love - born from pure forgiveness. I was offered to forgive my past several times before - but never ready to do so. I did not know what anything meant except for the suffering and anger of the physical/mental abuse received in many years. I did not want to forgive.

As my mind was sick of sorrow and desperation - with years passing by, also my physical body got sick. This for me was a big lesson I had to absorb - in order to comprehend exactly what happens to the body when the mind chooses to remain focused on the negative. It's almost like a subconscious suicide moving on slowly.

I had to be reborn. I had to develop the desire to live. I knew that I needed to change my way of seeing certain horrible situations - and that was maybe more painful than what happened. See, after something happens, somehow there is a return to peace and harmony - yet, It was very hard for me to understand the process of letting go of the pain. 

Eventually, I have learned how to love myself, depending only on me. And I have learned also how to forgive the people that in the past did me wrong. I have learned that "lady ignorance" works in manipulating other souls - trying only to deceive and confuse the minds of people.

I found my shine in the spirit of forgiveness. I used to hate my parents for the way they discouraged me from remaining myself. I used to hate those blueprints of my future - prepared by my father for me.

Everything made me so sick that I only wanted to die, I still remember. however, now I know that my desire to live life to the fullest, will allow me and others also - to make big mistakes sometimes indeed, but only to be able to return to love and to who we really are.

We are lights of divine desire, made to love each other forever. We are love and joy for the harmony that stays within and inspires us every day to write poems or do the laundry. 

We are spirits of love and mercy, that probably often will end up very bad -  before we can understand what is really beautiful and intense of the spiritual light that exists in everything. Like the pulsing heart of life and passion for living, I now love and encourage others to live and forgive - to let go and enjoy real harmony.

This I discovered about me after some doctors told me that I was suffering from severe depression and bipolarity - with terrible episodes of anger and frustration. I've learned how to control my problem finding balance in everything. I've learned how to reenergize my spiritual and physical cells. I've learned that there is hope and that love is all I want to feel and deliver.

I found my shine within indeed. I discovered a beautiful crying little baby - that never had a chance to grow up, mature, and do better than others before. I discovered especially that I am not a victim of circumstances, but the hero of my life. Now I know who I am - this is my shine. Unconditional Love!