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Shart Through the Heart

I gave love a bad name

By Sana AlibuxPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Every morning, growing up in hot, sunny Saudi Arabia; it was a constant sweaty tale of heaving, puffing, dressing up in a navy blue and white uniform, and being escorted by my nanny (referred to as a maid in the Middle East, the not-so-political term, have you) to the very bus stop that made my heart give out palpitations every time I approached it after the most cringe-worthy incident of my life.

You don’t realize the impact of having a crush until you experience a moment such as this one.

I was only 10 years old. A crush is a crush, and very innocently portrayed when you are that young. However, this incident was not so innocently portrayed. It was so embarrassing that it has tainted me since.

What is a girl to do, but to recant?

***

That morning I vaguely remember climbing out of bed, not feeling entirely sick, but slightly off. My nanny at the time, Elizabeth, came into my room to wake me up to perform our daily ritual: get into the bath of Dettol (yes, apparently I was so dirty, I needed industrial strength anti-bacterial soap to be cleansed with), wiped me down dry, and sat me down on my bed to put lotion on my arms and legs. She put me in my uniform dress and parted my hair into two ponytails with two little pink bobbles on each side.

I looked at Elizabeth and said, “I don’t feel very good…”

We got up and out of my bedroom, and walked to the front of the apartment door and she helped me put on my shoes.

“Don’t worry, you will be fine. You are just nervous because it is the first day of 4th grade. You will be fine.”

She said those words so comfortingly, that I did not have the courage to elaborate on how unwell I felt inside. What was brewing inside of me…

“Okay” I coughed up, as we headed towards the bus stop.

I felt wild growling sounds in my stomach, and a deep nausea that I can’t even begin to explain the sickening feeling. It was like the sound of a roaring transit system coming up ahead, but still far enough not to see the headlights.

As we walked on the scorching hot pavement towards the bus stop, I continued to feel pangs in my stomach. I looked at Elizabeth, and said, “I don’t know if I should go to school today. I know it’s my first day but really, it may be a bad idea.”

She halted and said in an alarming tone, “Sana, you are fine!”

***

We got to the bus stop, and there he was. My crush. He was boarding the school bus stop two children ahead of me.

The nausea right now grew worse, and I knew it was going to come out from either exit.

It was only a matter of time.

Then, it got to be my turn to get on the bus.

Elizabeth turned to me and said, “Look, if there are any problems when you get to school, call the home phone and we will arrange to get you from the head office as soon as possible.”

I nodded and swayed my way into the bus.

As I approached a seat that was empty, a huge growl in my stomach persisted and I belted out a huge fart and shat at the same time.

Everybody stared at me on the bus in that moment; their eyes glaring in shock, which was followed by loud laughter.

I was so embarrassed. At only 10 years old; I didn't know what true embarrassment was. But I knew it couldn’t get worse than this (as my younger self would think!)

I had to sit down because the bus started moving. I looked behind me, and my crush stared at me horrifically as if I was the demon girl in “The Exorcist”, who had spun her head around in a 360 degree turn.

The bus driver nonchalantly turned on the radio to drown out the whispers and endless laughter from the children behind him.

I turned to the window beside me and prayed that the ride would be short so that I could go to the head office and call my parents to go home.

The radio started blaring Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love A Bad Name” conveniently so as we made our way towards the British International School of Al-Khobar.

Well, I knew what it was…

I dug my head into my pooped up, scrunched up skirt and sighed, “I gave love a bad name.”

Childhood
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About the Creator

Sana Alibux

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