Romance Novels-Why We Read Them

No, We Don’t Secretly Want to Make It With a Dragon

Someone asked why women read romance novels. I’ll tell you, but if you are a man, maybe you should sit down. This may be a two-by-four to the head. I wouldn’t want you to fall over and hit the ground. Some of you have been patting yourselves on the back for years, while your girlfriends or wives are reading spicy romance novels, paranormal romance, and even science fiction romance. Yup, you heard it here. We read a whole lot of weirdness under the romance fiction heading. We secretly wish it were not fiction, though. Did you know that?

The author you are reading now is guilty, too, of engaging in the practice of fantasy romance relationships, human and whatnot. Have you ever read one of the books your women are reading? I am thinking not, or many of you would be more creative. Yes. I have said it. Many of you are not creative.

I am not going to get into the nitty-gritty of the scenarios here, but we swoon over what we don’t have. This lack is an ever-changing landscape of passion and intrigue; we crave spice and surprise. We read what fascinates us as sensual creatures.

Romance novels conjure a wide variety of passion-filled mystique. Think of it like a unicorn. We have heard of it and maybe glimpsed it here and there, but we can’t quite grasp it or make it our own. So we seek it in novels and in the ever-creative minds of the weavers of secret trysts, angst followed by resolution, and almost always lifelong fulfillment at the hand of some beast of a man who ruins us in the boudoir. Okay, maybe the kitchen, the balcony, a cave, the forest, or even upon a cloud. The location means nothing. The ever-present, desperate passion is what we all secretly wish for.

If anyone tells you we are not reading spicy romance with a hidden craving to experience the level of intimate carnage the women get to enjoy in romance stories, they are lying to you. Why else would we read them?

Let me tell you. The men, animals, and creatures in these stories are singularly focused on the woman. They will move heaven and earth, destroy kingdoms and lands, ruin friendships, and destroy anything else that interferes in order to make the woman their reason for smiling and to keep her as his.

We all want to be someone’s only. We crave being so desired that our partner focuses on us and ensures we are fully satisfied in the bedroom. In everyday life, we are perfectly fine with imperfection. We know there will always be not-so-perfect moments and even complete disasters. We can handle that.

When we are home with the object of our affections, we want intimacy to be a wild ride. Yes, we want stability and love. No one says we don’t. Women innately want to feel secure and to experience consistent love in relationships, but we also need some surprises.

Let me put it this way. You have pasta. Pasta is good stuff. What’s not to like? It can be made with just butter and grated cheese, maybe a crack of black pepper for a little kick. But after a while, it becomes the same old same old, plain white pasta. How about some sauce on it? Maybe some meat and gravy with it. How about arrabbiata or pasta al diavolo? That means spicy. We like spicy.

Spicy doesn’t always mean kink, you know. It could be a change of pace or location, a surprise lunch treat, maybe a hot, steamy shower tryst, or a sensory experience. The point I am trying to make is that we want creative partners. Be more creative. Take some chances and pique her curiosity.

Look, as we get older, things can become a bit mundane. More years, more experiences, less novelty. Things can become rote and dull. I know that men lust after the twenty or so-year-old females. Maybe it’s thirty-year-olds, whatever. They have all their body parts in prime condition. Nothing on their bodies has been affected by gravity, childbearing, weight gain or loss, wrinkles, or gray hairs beginning to grow.

That is not the reality of us. We age; we do not remain in factory condition. This is the lie that society and Hollywood value these days. We mature into fine wine. Leave the pop to your youth. Have some vintage, limited-edition select wine. Each gray hair has a story, each wrinkle a memory. Each sip has its rapture. It’s worth it.

We want less rote, less mundane, less pasta every night. We want adventure, we want intrigue. We need passion, craving, lust so desperate it defies words. Women never stop wanting passion. We want and need to feel desired every day. Your partners want different things from time to time; each one of us. We may want different amounts or styles, but it’s still a variation on a theme. We want secret things we won’t share with anyone else. It behooves you to find out what those variations and secrets are. But how do you do that?

First, pick up her romance books and read them. If you don’t want anyone to know you are reading them, read them on your phone or tablet. Read a couple of them, and you’ll see what she is into or maybe secretly wants to explore. Know that she does not want to make it with a dragon, vampire, or wolf. That is not reality. The reality is in the relationship that the alpha male has with his conquest. Look at the emotions and feelings in that relationship. Study hard, because there is an invisible test.

Do you think that because some of us are strong women with independent minds, we don’t crave being desired and lusted after, or that on some very basic, carnal level we don’t want to be owned? No. We want it all. Plain and simple. Don’t men crave that too? I know you do, or so many of you wouldn’t cheat on your significant others.

Want passion? Want spice, clandestine rendezvous, and a drawer where she keeps unmentionables you can’t wait to see? Then read what she likes. It is all there in black and white, waiting for you to be curious enough to fulfill her deepest longings. I am willing to bet that if you provide what the novels provide for her, she won’t need as many romance books as she once did. That is the test and the answer key right there.

Yes, she will still read romance books. They are like Viagra for a woman. Trust me when I say it’s to your benefit. Try reading them with her or to her. You or she may not get to the end of a chapter, and that is all good fun.

Most of all, be curious, be courageous, be adventurous. Be that for her. Be that for you.

(Published by No Time on Medium, June 2026)

#relationships #love #writing #secrets #sexuality

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